


Ashes & Rebirth

by BaffledFox



Series: Prompted [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alpha!Gabriel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Biting, Body Horror(Reaper), Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Conspiracy Theories, Drama, History of Overwatch, Knotting, M/M, McHanzo(background), Mentions of Infertility, Miscommunication, Not Canon Compliant, Omega!Jack, Pharmercy(background), Pining, Possessive Behavior, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Pregnancy, Protective Behavior, Rimming, Scent Marking, Scenting, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn(sort of), Suicidal Thoughts, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-30 17:20:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 52,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13956369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaffledFox/pseuds/BaffledFox
Summary: Jack finds himself alive after the fall with more questions than answers.He feels like a failure and the only way to find peace in his suffering is to avenge his dead mate and get to the bottom of the corruption in Overwatch.But the mysterious mercenary known as 'Reaper' is not making his quest easy.{Sequel to 'Fantasy Life'} {Jack doesn't know Gabe's Reaper trope} {Rewritten history of Overwatch/The Fall}





	1. Prequel - Ashes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maderi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maderi/gifts).



> This is a sequel to 'Fantasy Life' ; please, please read that story before you start following this one. It's a prequel but you'll understand more of the relationship and the emotions between Jack and Gabriel before this story gets off the ground. 
> 
> Anyway. This is a story for the amazing Maderi! I'm not sure how long this story will be just yet, but I have a decent outline so it should be finished fairly quickly. It's sort of turning into an 'epic' of sorts and I get to play around with OW lore which is always fun. 
> 
> The whole Reaper "reveal" trope is one of my absolute favorites to write! So I'll probably ham that up a bit before they finally realize who they are to each other and the resulting angst and drama that comes with it.
> 
> Please enjoy!

Jack wakes up to fire on his skin and smoke in his lungs. Ashes hover in the air like cherry blossoms and the sky is an unnatural grey. 

He remembers only bits and pieces leading up to the explosion; the adrenaline and the white hot fear making him lucid, forgetting his injuries as he finds consciousness. Once he had his bearings, once he got his feet under him, he was searching for Gabriel. 

They had a fight, they were screaming at each other in his office. 

There was more urgency to that fight than any other. More passion than they had felt between themselves in what felt like years. Close to diving at each other’s throats when the bombs(had to be bombs) went off. 

All at once he had felt a weight against him, throwing him maybe, or pushing him. 

The light had blinded him and the heat rushed a moment later when the window broke at his back and he went sailing through the air. Weightless; the sky(at the time) an endless cornflower blue. 

He had been knocked out from the impact; didn’t even have the time to wonder if that had been the end. If he was going to die. Just one moment he was flying, weightless to the Earth, and the next everything went black. 

His own coughing fit had woke him up, enough to kick in his self preservation instinct. Enough to get him moving despite his broken and bloody body. He should be looking for better cover, he should be looking for a safe place to wait for rescue. But the only thing going through his mind was Gabriel--

Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel--

Like an endless mantra. The flashes of his mate’s face in the moments right before the explosion had been cruel. Brown eyes wild and teeth bared. 

It didn’t matter if they hated each other, it didn’t matter if Gabriel didn’t love him anymore. 

In this moment there was nothing else he wanted or needed aside from his mate. 

If he took a moment to observe, he would have been in awe of the damage. There was absolutely nothing left. What used to be a fourteen story tower inside of a bustling military base was reduced to rubble. Glass, concrete, steel beams, and iron bars were buried in the blast zone; the giant crater Jack was attempting to navigate. 

Bodies of comrades littered the wastes; but he didn’t spare them a glance. 

They were dead, like he was supposed to be, like Gabriel might be--

He had to find him. 

He wandered, bleeding, disorientated, partially blind and deaf from the explosion for what felt like hours. His voice was raw from yelling the alpha’s name; but he couldn’t even hear it, wouldn’t even be able to hear if Gabriel was calling back to him. Rain had started to pelt the Earth, coaxed from the angry heavens by the acrid smoke and burning fire. 

Jack chose to ignore the lack of a pulse in his bond bite. Ignored the way his hind brain had already started to mourn; aware of the reality of it all while he fooled himself into thinking if he just looked a little harder, if he just forced himself to keep going over the next pile of concrete to the next, he’d find Gabriel waiting for him. 

The alpha would chide him for taking so long, would hide his pain under his usual bravado. Would let Jack carry him out of battle, just like he had so many times before(when they had been much, much younger and a lot more reckless and capable). 

Jack could almost fool himself into believing it. 

In that image, of Gabriel holed up somewhere, bloody and broken down. Waiting for rescue. Waiting for Jack; the bad blood between them washed away in the relief of the moment of finding each other alive in this chaos. 

Eventually, he does find Gabriel. 

The alpha is half crushed under a steel beam, his body lifeless, unnaturally flattened from the lower abdomen down. His clothing was burned and his face was bloody, eyes closed and head tilted towards the rock it had smashed against. 

Jack ran to Gabriel’s body before he could stop himself, before he could absorb what he was seeing. Tears blinded him as he fell to his knees, grappling at Gabriel’s form(any part of it he could manage to touch). 

Gabriel was already cold; he smelled like death, ozone and blood. So much blood. 

Jack babbled apologies, curled over the corpse of his alpha; letting the rain soak them both through, adding to the cocktail of horrific scents, the fires around them starting to drown and sputter. 

It wasn’t until he heard the sound of sirens that he realized he needed to go. He wasn’t going to stay here, he wasn’t going to be rescued, he wasn’t going to go on living without Gabriel. 

Jack took the dog tags from around Gabriel’s neck and put them around his own; newfound resolve burning in his blood and snuffing out the crushing sorrow. The metal glinted in the low light, adding a chime when they rested against his chest, knocked into his own tags. 

He made his choice. Feeling numb all over, he stripped the blue duster from his body and placed the heavy leather coat over his alpha. Jack forced himself to breathe, to let go, to get back on his feet and grit through the pain. 

Jack Morrison died in that explosion with Gabriel Reyes. 

What emerged from the ashes was a soldier seeking answers; revenge, on whatever caused this heartache. 

He had been an idiot for not listening to Gabriel sooner. For letting his pride and his blind trust get in the way of what his mate had been trying to tell him for years. 

That something in Overwatch was broken, that something had been eating away at the flesh of their organization longer than either of them had known. 

He hadn’t accepted it then. He hadn’t believed Gabriel. 

Now he did. 

Too late to save their relationship, too late to save his life. 

But now he had a purpose, he had a need to find the answers and present them to Gabriel’s grave. Then he would rest, then he’d put himself in the ground right next to his alpha.


	2. Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter touches on the gap between the fall and where Jack is now in his life/and his search. 
> 
> I'm still not entirely happy where I cut the chapter off, but I rewrote the last paragraph more than five times already and I'd rather focus on the next pieces than trying to rewrite that over and over again.. so I apologize if it feels a little too abrupt. 
> 
> Anyhow. As always I hope you enjoy and please tell me what you think. c:

Jack wakes with a choked influx of air, blue eyes snapping open to observe the canvas ceiling above him. It takes him a moment to get his bearings, to understand where he is, details coming into focus to remind him that the explosion was a long time ago.

The tent is small, barely shielding them from the elements, the wind outside whipping and howling against their camp. The lantern in the corner of the room glows a vibrant orange, making the space appear warm despite the drafty chill. 

His eyes try to focus in on the details of the space around him; on the dual packs against the right side of the tent. On the smell of fresh brewed tea, of dry Earth and the scent of a familiar alpha. 

Even if it felt like yesterday; it had been almost seven years since the death of his mate, since he walked out of the wreckage as a ghost with a newfound purpose. It seemed like every time he closed his eyes he was right back there, disorientated, confused, breathing in smoke and feeling fire on his skin. 

His throat felt tight and his eyes burned as if he were on the verge of tears. Gabriel’s corpse haunted his dreams and reanimated in his nightmares; accusing him of all the wrongs he had done.

Seven years and he was still mourning. 

“That nightmare again?” Ana inquires; once he sits up on his cot he can see her across the space on her own cot. There’s a teacup steaming between her cupped hands and she’s dressed down in a white tank top and fatigues. 

When he sleeps it’s never restful; sometimes he wakes up screaming, sometimes he just thrashes until he falls out of ‘bed’, and times like these he just gasps awake in a panic. 

His heart his still hammering against his ribs and he can smell his own bitter fear scent in the air. Ana never pushes him about his nightmares, never seems cross when she’s startled awake just the same. 

It’d been a long time since she offered a comforting touch. Now it was just an unspoken thing, something they both endured in silence. Ana knew what his nightmares were, though she didn’t share his same trauma, she had demons of her own. 

Jack felt like a burden most the time. He wouldn’t ask her for more than she’d already given. 

“Yeah.” He grunted, still dressed in his complete combat outfit. He didn’t find comfort in being stripped down anymore. Felt safer when he was in his body armor and his leather jacket; when he had his gun at his side and knife on his belt. 

“There’s tea.” She nods towards the teapot on the hotplate in the center of the room. 

Jack doesn’t make a grab for it, still lost in his own head; thinking of how far they’ve come yet how little they still knew of what really happened that day. 

Ana had found him, bloody and broken from the blast. The shock of her being alive after she had been listed as MIA hadn’t even registered. At that time he had thought she was figment of his imagination, a memory, or maybe a real ghost. 

Jack at first, thought he was just being haunted, or maybe he’d died. 

Of course, once the shock of the situation and his injuries wore off, he realized she was a real tangible person. Could pick out the differences in her demeanor and posture, the white in her hair and her missing eye. Battle worn; older, different, than when he had known her before. Less kind and more scarred. 

She’d been tracking leads on the corruption for years, after her run in with Amelie, after she had ‘died’. She filled in the blanks on why she had been there that day, why she had taken him in after the explosion. Critically; she’d said it’d been a good opportunity, and she was in need of an ally she could really trust. Ana was able to give him some insight to his newfound cause and made him realize even more how much of an ass he had been.

How shitty of a mate he had been to Gabriel. 

Ana had swept him up from the initial blast, hidden him away in a ‘safe location’ and tended to his injuries. They were both technically field medics; but Ana had a little more training than he did. She also had supplies, and patched him up best she could with what she had. It wasn’t like either of them could go to a hospital, but luckily his broken bones and his injuries weren’t extreme(given the circumstances). What she couldn’t initially fix, his natural healing ability worked over until he was ‘good as new’. She’d gotten him up to speed while he was indisposed and offered him a shoulder to cry on as he mourned Gabriel and let the reality of it all sink in. 

It had been easier to soldier onward with Ana at his side(even though nothing about his new reality was easy at all). 

He got to watch himself be put into the ground on the news. Was able to view how the world was taking the ‘Fall of Overwatch’ and the deaths of himself and Gabriel. 

Gabriel was painted as a villain, leading his operatives that(to the media) were no better than criminals. Every bad piece of press that had ever existed was dredged up for the population’s consumption to squash any ideas of the explosion being a larger terrorist attack. 

It was written off as an internal issue; either an accident or a deliberate action from an inside source(some theorists blamed Gabriel for it), and though many lives were lost, it was hearkened as a necessary evil to let the people of the world claim back what Overwatch had tried to ‘steal from them’. 

Jack was spared from the conspiracy of corruption under the grounds that he had just been a pretty face to plaster on posters; that he more or less had been an idiot, an air-headed omega put in ‘charge’ to dupe the public into thinking the organization was progressive and that Jack was truly the man for the job despite his gender. A leader that didn’t know what he had been leading, who was easily swindled by the man he was sleeping with. Though, while alive, they had kept their relationship a secret and out of any and all press, it was only a matter of time before the media got a hold of the truth and found the encrypted files. 

Jack was labeled as a victim, and his statue wasn’t torn down, and he was given a real headstone and a monument for the good that Overwatch had done(even though it was clear the bad outweighed it in the public’s opinion). 

It wasn’t fair that his mate had become the scapegoat. 

It wasn’t fair that Gabriel’s family had to mourn the loss of him as if he had been a criminal and a war monger. 

It was all his fault any of this even happened. If he had been there for him, if he had listened, if he had been in the field more--

If he hadn’t been stuck behind a desk, hadn’t been reduced to a pretty face that could read a script, if he hadn’t been reduced to the ‘All American’ omega figurehead; maybe he could have done something to prevent all this. 

If only he turned down the promotion. If only he had stayed in the infantry ranks, if only he let himself be led instead of trying to be a leader. 

Hated himself for letting his personal feelings blind him. With the realization of never being able to retire, never being able to have a family, of never being able to even be in a public relationship with Gabriel--

Jack had decided to be what the public wanted; what the public needed. He forfeited his life to the cause, gave himself a new purpose and blatantly disregarded his relationship with Gabriel. He’d gotten so caught up in being a role model to the masses, a game changer, that he ignored those important to him. 

One by one he had lost everyone he cared for; like a drip feed of anguish.

Ana, Jesse, Genji, Angela, Fareeha, Gabriel--

The list went on and on. Countless friends and colleagues had left or died and he was living here now.

It all just wasn’t fair. 

“Jack, are you alright?” Ana’s voice was soft, cutting through his self deprecation. 

He shook his head, rubbing his hands down his face to try and focus. “I’ll get there.” He grunted back in his gravelly voice, avoiding her gaze. 

“Mm.” She hummed around another sip of tea before she set the cup down on the folded tray table nearby her cot. Whether she believed him or not she didn’t give any indication; but Jack had good days and bad days and this depression wasn’t extreme enough to be classified as a ‘bad day’ yet. Ana decided to push forward, to give Jack something of a distraction, “We’re just a couple hours out from the Oasis base. We should be able to find what we’re looking for there.” 

What they were ‘looking for’ consisted of any scraps of encrypted data on the old files still stored in derelict Overwatch bases. Some places they’d searched over the years were so broken down that there was nothing to salvage, save some old printed files and deadend leads. 

Even after seven years of research(more with Ana’s previous searches when she had been on her own) they didn’t have a lot to go on. 

Amelie was obviously their biggest lead, and their biggest data bank. Ana had lost her eye, nearly her life to the brainwashed wife of Gerard Lacroix which only gave them more questions than answers. 

The conspiracy spanned deep into the heyday of Overwatch. Amelie was a sleeper agent put in Gerard’s way on purpose. As genuine as Amelie had been, as their marriage and bonding had been, it appeared that she had been planted with a device long before she had been nudged in front of Gerard at the event meant to congratulate their new organization on a ‘job well done’. 

Amelie had been a ballet dancer, she had been hired as the entertainment in the grand ballroom. 

Jack hadn’t been the Strike Commander yet; but he had been the acting leader on most away missions. Gerard was the leader of BlackWatch(at that time); the new black ops division that Overwatch had created for infiltration and espionage missions. 

It was almost ironic that the leader of that organization would be duped by a pretty assassin. 

Though, that wasn’t what Amelie was(not yet).

Amelie was just a rich, talented ballerina. Sociable and gliding from one classy event to the next, increasing her fame and popularity. She came from a good stock of infamous figureheads and politicians which made her the ideal choice to increased the fledgling Overwatch’s influence and popularity. 

But Amelie had a bug planted in her brain. It was their theory that she hadn’t known about it. That she hadn’t been trained in any type of combat or mission protocols. 

From the files, it seemed like she was just planted, and whatever technology had been in her head was triggered from an outside source. 

As the story went; Amelie murdered Gerard in their marriage bed and fled the scene. The details, even now, were foggy over exactly how it happened. Stabbed, poisoned, maybe both. The crime scene photos were gruesome, and Jack remembered mourning the flamboyantly charming Frenchman. 

Gerard Lacroix had a way with words; he could light up the room with a smile and his dark sense of humor resonated with the soldiers. Jack especially, who still had a weak stomach when it came to killing. 

Ana had been close to Amelie; duped into believing the woman had wanted a family of her own. She’d often brought Fareeha over to visit, chatted away about how being a parent really changed a person. Put the world in perspective and narrowed the priorities(those thoughts rang true since Ana’s current mission was to stay away from her daughter in her effort to protect her and her estranged mate). 

Ana had felt the betrayal worse than anyone that had known Gerard; Jack could only imagine that bitterness only expanded when she’d had a run in with Amelie. She’d nearly died because she couldn’t pull the trigger, the only moment in her life she had ever hesitated with a kill. 

Photos in the data mine showed Amelie renamed ‘Windowmaker’ and her weapon of choice were poisons and a heavy duty sniper rifle. In the recent snapshot on file she was an unnatural shade of blue and even though Jack thought it was impossible; she was listed as deceased yet still ‘at large’. 

The organization she belonged to: Talon, was an even bigger mystery. 

Neither of them knew how big it was, how long it had been around(at least twenty years if not more), how they operated or where their main base of operations was located. 

For all their world traveling and their constant searching, they’d never found any Talon base, and couldn’t find anyone willing to tell them about it. Even under extreme torture; the petty gangs they’d infiltrated wouldn’t give up any names to the bigger organizations pulling the strings. 

It wasn’t loyalty snaring their tongues, it was fear. 

The gangs were more afraid of Talon than saving their individual lives; so nothing Ana and Jack could do was ever bad enough to get anyone to point a finger(even taking lives). 

It was frustrating, like following a trail of breadcrumbs into a black hole. 

As far as they were aware Amelie had been the only known mole(now) in Overwatch. But that wouldn’t add up, given the fact she was there twenty odd years back. Someone had to have caused the explosion, and Gabriel had been nervous about something happening long before that. 

There were whispers of distrust and unrest long before the fall; maybe Amelie had just been the start. 

Just the spearhead to the much bigger force lurking inside. 

It was startling to realize and accept that from day one Overwatch had been doomed to fail. 

“We should get moving.” Jack wanted to know what was inside that base, always itching for more information, for another real lead. He wanted to avenge his mate, and Ana wanted to put all this to bed so she could finally see her daughter again. 

There wasn’t a better time than now. Traveling under the cover of darkness was their best defense. The desert was crueler at night, cold and vast. But traveling at night was also more tolerable than traveling under the desert sun(especially in full gear). Besides, Ana knew the Arabian desert better than anyone and Jack trusted her to guide them through without an issue. 

Ana didn’t respond to him verbally, just nodded and got herself up. 

As impatient as he was, having lost two days to the sand storm they had to wait out earlier in the week, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. Like he was missing something, or maybe there was a danger lurking nearby. 

Something internally was telling him to ‘stop’, but he wasn’t listening. 

Oasis could be the lead they were looking for, he didn’t want to stop now and he decided to equate his unrest to the remnants of his nightmare that was still clinging fresh to his consciousness. 

Ana yanked on her heavy duster and replaced the mask and hood over her head. Took her less than a couple minutes to check over her rifle, her medical pack and other effects before she was standing ready.

Jack did the same, getting his mask on, checking the ventilation system and attaching his biotic field canisters to his belt(he was nearly out of them). With his mask over his face the world was suddenly washed in a watery crimson. The screen in front of his eyes giving him the vitals of both himself and Ana(who was in the room packing up their gear). Two heartbeats, and nothing(nothing human) within a one mile radius outside(the furthest range his mask could detect). 

He got himself up, his legs solid underneath him but only because he had slept in his boots and braces(he rarely ever took them off). The braces were just a reinforced foam insert inside of his combat boots that covered his shins. When Ana had originally patched him up years before the bone in his right leg hadn't been set properly(they had been on a time crunch to move), and the muscles beneath both legs had been damaged and burned in the fire and impact when he fell from the building. Without his boots and braces he had trouble staying upright and moving with any sort of fluidity. Even with them he had some trouble(but it was hardly the same severity as if he went without).

He assisted in getting their supplies packed up; the entire operation taking less than ten minutes. Once their bags were packed and weapons gathered; they stepped outside into the chilly desert air that was still whipping around them in the death throes of the giant storm that passed days before. 

Together they worked on breaking down the tent(always last), wrapping up the poles inside the canvas of the tent’s body until it was able to be strapped to the bottom of Jack’s backpack. 

He felt like a recruit again, bogged down with supplies and holding his heavy pulse rifle between his hands. He nodded to Ana and the woman nodded back; communication was difficult with the noise of the wind. 

They wanted to remain quiet anyway, staying close to the jagged slivers of rock jutting up from the ground and the sides of the great dunes that swept up around them like soft mountains. The provided cover offered some peace of mind just in case there was an ambush. 

They had yet to be outright attacked, or ambushed(though they had run ins with aggressive gangs in Dorado, the Los Muertos acted a lot different than the desert bandits or the Rocs of south Asia). But, being careful could save their lives, and Jack definitely didn’t want to die before he completed this mission. 

They communicated with a series of hand signals; moving from outcrop to outcrop, taking small breaks for water and to assess their surroundings. 

The desert could be disorientating; it almost looked endless, smooth like glass in the dark, with no real discernible features. Every shrub, every rock, every dune looked the same as any other and though Ana seemed assured she knew where she was going, Jack sure as shit didn’t. 

If Ana left him now he had no doubt he’d probably wander the desert until he collapsed. 

Just as Jack started to get worried that maybe they were walking in circles, he spotted it. 

As day began to break, the vibrant flash of orange erupting on the horizon line to cast the entire desert in a wave of gold, he could see a hazy image of a city begin to materialize. The image shivered and rippled like a mirage, it took him a moment to realize it was truly a tangible object. The hard lines of it looked black(so dark against the contrast of the sun rising behind it) and so foreign in the organic landscape that it couldn’t be anything else but Oasis.


	3. The Reaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a bit of action and will launch the plot forward! 
> 
> I'm still fleshing out all the details of the "lore" that I'm re-creating and editing. But, I hope you like where this is all headed! The moment between Reaper and Jack is supposed to be a parallel to what happens in the comic. 
> 
> Next chapters should be up in a couple weeks. As always, please enjoy~ c:

The Oasis facility was eerie; the building made of open architecture that hugged the river, broken glass catching the early light of the morning and sending bursts of blinding color scattering across the crumbling walls. Their footsteps echoed in the gloom across the dirty marble as they continued inside of the vast space. 

This used to be a place full of life and promise. Used to be a beacon shining for the future, a hub for curious new minds to push the limits of what technology and science were capable of. The advancements that came out of this place had pushed Overwatch forward, had made it more relevant, had given the organization an edge and launched them into the future. 

Hard light crafted into weapons, advanced healing serums, and new lightweight indestructible armor; just a handful of the advancements that had been shipped from this place. 

Jack had never been to Oasis personally when he had been the Strike Commander, or even just an officer or grunt. But, he did remember signing for packages that were shipped to base operations, and had requested some of the new weapons to be tested. 

He had personally sent some of their young, bright minds to this place to get further experience and the education they needed to fill the ranks with capable individuals. He also had personally plucked a few scientists and medics fresh from the University to join the cause of Overwatch. 

But that was a lifetime ago. 

Now Oasis was just a shell, just like all the other bases Overwatch had founded. The three compounds that created the base of Oasis were intersecting, connected by underground tunnels and overhead bridges. The facility more like bones connected to each other without the thrum of life occupying its buildings and hallways. 

Where the building touched the river, the plants had overgrown to claim back territory from the man-made structure. Once considered ‘a pearl in the desert’, now the marble and limestone was eroding, had lost it’s polish and the paint was peeling(if not completely melted away by time already). 

Without the force fields that had been in place to keep the elements at bay; the entire compound was vulnerable to the aggressive sandstorms and overrun with native animals. Where the buildings touched the shimmering water, a few Crocodiles sat along the banks in the fresh golden sunlight. Beyond that, a few hippos were wading in the shallows and Jack could see the water birds curiously exploring the upper bridges for prey. 

Ana made a hand signal and Jack’s attention focused back on her; ‘Down’, she had signed. 

Below would be their best bet of finding anything of value. Below they’d find the network or the ‘brain’ of the facility. Long since powered down(or possibly destroyed or broken by now), he could only hope that protocols had been in place to save any data on the drives, to automatically encrypt and store them for the purpose of a data sweep. 

Since both he and Ana had been first and second in command of Overwatch; all their passcodes and usernames would suffice for any level of clearance needed. They hadn’t run into any firewall or security block they hadn’t been able to clear(so far, anyway). 

They traveled in tandem down stairs, the further they went, the less the light from above could follow. Eventually they were left walking down a hallway swamped in darkness. Jack’s visor allowed him to see(switched from the general channel to ‘night vision’), the ambient red light coming from it illuminated the wall he was closest to.

Ana’s visor did the same, hers glowing a ghostly blue; the opposite side of the hall she was walking down cast shadows that wrestled against Jack’s. 

Though their lights were muted, the red and blue shone like two huge fireflies in the complete and utter blackness they were surrounded by. Obvious, to an outside perspective(had there been anyone to view them). 

The hallway was long and barren; Jack’s visor picking up the vitals of hidden animals, small, scurrying in crevices gutted in the surrounding stone and the metal skeleton of the building itself. Distantly, he could hear the sound of water dripping coupled with the metallic swish of their boots on the dusty flooring. 

The wind from above made a howl that echoed down the hall and buffeted at their clothing; grabbed the tail of Ana’s jacket and whipped it around their legs before the space grew quiet and still again. 

It felt like they were grave robbing. Even if this, and most bases they visited, would have been evacuated before anything extreme had ever happened. Oasis especially had been a neutral compound; made up of scientists, students and medics. 

But at the tail end of Overwatch’s life, the rules hadn’t mattered. Peace and neutrality wasn’t a shield to save lives. 

At least this place had been left to rot in the desert and not bombed and gutted like some of the other bases and safe houses they had visited before. 

Eventually the hallway flared open into four channels; the light fixtures were in place above them, and mold and moss was growing from the ceiling to the left wall, being drip fed nutrients from the river. 

Here it was quiet enough to talk, and Ana’s voice boomed in the silence when she spoke, “I’ll take the right three hallways, you take the left. If you run into any trouble, bang on the wall three times, it should echo enough to be heard.” Just in case they were out of their visor range which could record their stats and vitals. The walls here were thicker, especially in the computer or power rooms, it was possible their visors wouldn’t be able to pick up anything once they were deep inside. 

“Understood.” Jack said with a nod, taking the left hall just as Ana veered right. 

The first room didn’t have much; he didn’t have to bother walking in once he came upon the first door. Just banged it the rest of the way open with a swift hit from the butt of his pulse rifle and a quick glance showed nothing of interest. 

Paperwork(looking more like rotted plant matter on the room’s floor), fallen tables, upturned chairs, broken glass, broken pieces of technology. 

Nothing he could salvage, nothing he could use, nothing he could fix. 

The next four rooms were the same, uninteresting relics of the past; absently he hoped Ana was having better luck. 

He expected the final sixth room to be much the same(maybe the wing they were in had just been an old lab). However, when he muscled that door open the room was different than the others. The control room(or at least, one of them, maybe the main control point of this part of the facility). 

With how big Oasis was, it seemed like a break to already find a control room, to find computers he could data mine(if he could get them working). 

Finally he was able to drop the packs he had been lugging around; let the backpack fall to the floor as he entered the space. The room itself wasn’t small, but the visibility was good. He could see to all sides, no other hidden doors or panels. Just the door he came in through, which gave him one point of entry, easily defendable in case something happened. 

Every time they raided a facility it felt familiar; like running a mission drill. Get in, sweep, get out. 

It was good to work like this, easy, almost cathartic. 

He knelt on the floor by one of the duffle bags, getting out what materials he’d need. A small generator, pliers, two types of screwdrivers, electrical tape and wiring in case he couldn’t use what was available(either because of erosion or damage). 

Jack felt most grounded when he had a direction, a command. As much as he tried to be the lead dog back in the day; he always felt he was more of a follower. In basic he’d followed Commander Reyes’ direction like a puppy. Hopped right into the fire of SEP when Gabriel had mentioned that he was stepping down to enter that experimental program. 

He hadn’t even thought about it, signed right up because the thought of losing Reyes(who had become one of his closest friends at the time) just wasn’t an option. He couldn’t sleep at night knowing he was somewhere just out of reach, he had wanted to go to war with him, to follow him to the end of the world and back again. 

At the time Jack hadn’t known it was a crush, or even worse, that he was pathetically in love. 

Gabriel had been a powerful, charismatic man, his alpha gender only enhanced that fact. Didn’t lose his personality even when he was stripped down to being a cadet all over again. Even if they had new commanding officers, Gabriel always led whatever temporary pack he was in. He was a natural at it.

He was a spectacle even just in simple war games. Brutal in his style of combat, close range either with fists or weapons. Top marks, with Jack(surprising to just about everyone around him) following right at his heels. The only omega in the program to even be in the top one percent underneath the best performing alphas. 

It was safe to say he’d eventually caught Gabriel’s eye in a romantic way for multiple reasons. Not just his gender designation, but much more than that. They had been equals. 

It might just be the hopeless romantic in him, but it felt like they were just meant to be together. That the universe aligned to have them meet at that time, to have their fates connected to each other(through the good and the bad). 

Jack kept working even as his mind wandered; having dismantled the base of the main computer, working through the frayed wires and started to get it hooked into the generator. His movements were mechanical, his gaze far away, completely distracted by the past. 

He’d give anything to hear Gabriel’s voice again, to see him full of life and vibrancy. 

He’d give anything to erase the cold fact that his mate was dead. That the last image he’d ever have of him was after the explosion. Crushed and burning under the building debris; his face waxy and lifeless. 

Jack blinked the tears from his eyes, sniffling pathetically as he tried to shake it off. Focused back on his handiwork, flipped the switch on the generator and held his breath for the few seconds it’d take for the computer to respond(if it would respond). 

There was a whir of the internal fan(exposed now since Jack had taken off all the paneling) as the machine began it’s booting protocols. 

He had to keep his head in the game. There was no point thinking about the past, those memories. His mission was priority and nothing else. 

Jack blankly watched the computer screen come to life; grey at first, then blue, then finally the main screen. He worked through the firewalls and blocks in place; one by one he broke into the hidden files on the drive to check if anything was worth taking. Typing code after code until the encryption locks melted away and began to download the files for viewing. 

The entire process was monotonous, and time consuming, having no idea how long he had been alone in the room. 

Could be minutes, could have been hours. 

He skimmed the information in the files. Nothing popping out at him. Just usual information hidden from prying eyes. Medical files, scientific experiments, weapon schematics and the blueprints of the facility. Standard. He moved then to specific individuals, knowing he’d have to take the bulk of the files with them(to thoroughly comb through the data), but overall he was checking if any names popped out at him. 

List after list, nothing gave him a red flag. 

Until finally, he came upon a name he knew(extremely well, unfortunately): 

Moira O’deorain. 

The controversial geneticist who had been a high ranking official in this very complex(one of the main reasons they had decided to target this facility). Condemned for her practices by the upper ranks of Overwatch she would have been thrown to the wind had it not been for Gabriel. 

She had been revealed when she had been attempting some experiment on her fellow scientists. Some explosion happened; she was found with one of her arms scarred(nearly burned off) among three dead colleagues who looked like they had been mummified(which was impossible). She’d claimed the other scientists had agreed to the experiment, that she had proof in writing and she’d done nothing wrong. 

But it had been a human rights issue; no one knew what really happened, aside from Moira and what she had said was so bizarre no one accepted it as fact. The experiment(when she explained the parameters) had been so dangerous that it was decided no one in their right mind would ever agree to be a guinea pig for it. 

But Gabriel was intrigued rather than repulsed; he requested for her to be saved from the wrath of the higher members. 

Jack clenched his jaw remembering that particular argument. When their relationship was starting to become fractured; he wanted nothing more than to try and bridge the gap somehow. They spent so much time arguing and fighting; Jack’s promotion doing little to ease all that tension. Once promoted they became parts of two separate worlds. Rarely colliding, rarely having anytime for themselves to relive any unrest that began to settle like dust in the crevices of their relationship. Leaders of two separate factions within the beast of Overwatch; it often felt like they were communicating across a chasm. He just wanted a little bit of peace, a little bit of happiness, to maybe make Gabriel soften to him again(even for just a moment). 

Because of his promotion he had the ability to pluck Moira out of her plight and give her(like a gift) to Gabriel, since his mate had been so interested in her research and abilities. No one could say she wasn’t brilliant; but her obsessions made her dangerous, almost manic. 

Using his influence and his seat of power, he gave the go ahead to acquire Moira. 

That entire ordeal had been a risky mission in and of itself. The trial of Moira had to happen(for publicity’s sake, for the world to be appeased with justice); but she had been intercepted before she could be imprisoned. Removed to a ‘remote’ facility that the UN approved of(not knowing what was really going on). 

She became a Blackwatch asset under lock and key; anyone interacting with her, or knowing of her existence was sworn to secrecy under threat of death. 

It was the most underhanded thing Jack had ever done. 

Giving Moira to Gabriel didn’t fix their relationship either(not that Jack had entirely expected it to). 

If anything it only made it worse. Gabriel became more reclusive, slept less and less and stopped sharing their apartment altogether. He spent almost all his time with Moira and Jack hadn’t been above jealousy and petty rage. Not to mention after that one big favor Gabriel only kept asking for more; exploiting Jack’s feelings and the influence he had as Strike Commander. 

Everything only got uglier, and it hurt, even now, to think about all of it. 

All of it had been a mistake; especially when Moira’s existence inside of Overwatch became known to the public. Just another nail in the coffin of the organization already painted in a bad light. 

Jack didn’t know what choices he should have made, what he could have done better, how he could have fixed any of it. The past was already written, and he was here now chasing ghosts and trying to finally put the memory of his mate to bed. 

This was all he could do(and sometimes he felt like the sentiment was as hollow as anything else). 

He wasn’t a hero, he never had been. 

He was just a selfish, hopeless omega from a small farm in Indiana. Wasn’t meant for greatness, wasn’t even meant for love. Wasn’t meant to change the world. He was just a failure. 

Jack hovered the cursor over her name, her file, clicked to open it only to be met with a new passcode box. This one was red, not standard Overwatch blue. It was a Blackwatch code box. But he wasn’t deterred(even if it felt like a red flag) he and Ana’s code could override any branch of Overwatch. Even Blackwatch(not that Jack did on occasions in the past, not wanting to make a bigger rift between he and his mate). 

But Gabriel wasn’t alive anymore, he didn’t have to account for his pride or hurt feelings. 

Jack entered his code, waited, and tensed to the alert that popped on screen a moment later: 

ACCESS DENIED. 

That wasn’t possible. 

Jack entered his code three more times and it came up the same. So caught up in his moment of confused disbelief that he almost didn’t hear the whisper of air behind him.

Immediately he jerked around from where he was crouched in front of the dismantled computer. “Ana?” He called out into the dark around him, not picking up any other vitals(not even an animal). 

The hum of the generator should have been loud enough to conceal the unusual sound but somehow it wasn’t. Could almost feel the hair on the back of his neck stand up; animal instincts long stamped down trying to claw to the surface. 

Fear settled in his guts unbidden yet he could see no threat. Just a trick of his mind, yet he couldn’t shake it. 

“Ana?” He called again louder, as if she was hiding, as if his visor was malfunctioning(it wasn’t). 

With the night vision on the entire space was doused in a grainy red, giving him a feedback loop of nothing out of the ordinary. Until finally, he saw it, a shift in the image, like heat coming off pavement. 

He’d grabbed his pulse rifle and aimed, shot into the wall at the nearly invisible whatever it was. The hard light bullets embedded into the wall in a messy spray; concrete burst and littered the floor in chunks. 

He reloaded, feeling the burn in his shoulder from the kickback. The room was filled with a layer of stone dust, drifting lazily on the air and Jack scrutinized it for any unusual movement.

“Right here.” 

Behind! 

Jack couldn’t react quick enough, all at once he was grabbed and tossed as if he weighed nothing. He slammed hard into the opposite wall and scrambled to get his feet under him. His visor fritzed; having hit the concrete sideways, it must’ve gotten damaged. He lifted his weapon and couldn’t believe what he was seeing--

Walking towards him was Talon’s assassin known as: Reaper. 

As if he just materialized out of thin air, his body misting black smoke at the edges and the bone white of his mask was unnerving in it’s complete vacancy. His hands spread and all at once two deadly shot guns just appeared, gripped by those clawed gloves as he approached in that lazy way. 

As if the fight was already over, as if Reaper had already won. 

“Stay where you are.” Jack found his voice, gritting out the words and trying to focus even as the screen he was looking through shivered. In focus then out of focus, every blink causing Reaper to appear closer and closer. 

“You can’t hurt me.” He said, his modified voice unnatural and unnerving. “I can’t die.” 

Reaper stopped only when the muzzle of Jack’s rifle was against his armored chest. The shotguns in turn were raised, he was staring down the barrels of both of them. He felt his heart rate ramp up, the need to survive pumping adrenaline through his blood. 

“What are you two rats hoping to find down here?” Reaper asked, tilting his head in a parody of a question, as if they weren’t poised to kill each other. 

Jack took his opening(however brief), kicking out and at the same moment flipping his rifle up to dislodge Reaper’s arms, to force his shotguns to point up and in that moment he jammed the butt of his rifle into his chest to get him enough room to run. 

Reaper was effectively knocked back, that split second of surprise allowing Jack to get a few paces towards the open door. 

But, that was as far as he got. 

Reaper’s guns went off and all at once the omega felt fire erupt in his back. He staggered and fell, his pulse rifle skittering across the floor as he gasped for breath. Could feel blood soak into his clothing, couldn’t help the fear that spiked in his blood, coloring his distressed pheromones that burst into the air. 

“Omega.” Reaper’s voice was nearly a purr; the sound obscene given the circumstance. Clearly the assassin could smell him(Jack couldn’t in turn scent Reaper back with his own mask still intact on his face). 

Jack tried to crawl to the door despite his injuries but it was a fruitless endeavor. He felt the wraith’s claws dig into his ankle and yank him back towards the computer. He cried out, unable to help it, grabbing at the floor as Reaper dragged him further into the room. 

“Must say, didn’t expect our biggest pain in the ass to be some old omega.” Reaper mused, seemingly to himself, as if Jack wasn’t suffering a panic attack at his feet. 

Jack looked over his shoulder, panting into the floor as he observed the tall body of the assassin. His shotguns were gone again, instead he had what looked like marbles rolling on an open palm. He was turned towards the computer Jack had been working on. 

Without much fanfare he dropped the black ‘marbles’ onto the body of the machine and all at once the computer died. Just like that; the balls rolling over the console and inside the main frame as if they were living things. Destroying all the files he had worked to obtain(not that the files would matter at all if he died here). 

Reaper’s cold white mask turned to him again and slowly the man stepped towards him, his big boots intimidating from Jack’s vantage point on the floor. He felt small and insignificant; wounded and unable to defend himself properly against this threat. 

He’d been caught off guard and taking two point black shotgun shots to the back was enough to put even his enhanced body on standby. He needed time to recover, and something told him that Reaper wasn’t going to be kind enough to give him a reprieve. 

The assassin knelt down next to him, posture casual as if the omega wasn’t bleeding out on the floor. He reached forward, gripping under Jack’s jaw, talons hooking into his mask and forcing him to look at him. “Tell me omega, why do you have the Strike Commander’s access codes?” He asked, voice a low tinny hiss. 

“I don’t.” He lied, thinking there might be some advantage if the Reaper didn’t know who he was. But he’d know Ana, she’d already had a run in with Talon(multiple times now), and Jack had been calling for her earlier. “The codes are Ana’s.” 

“Ana.” Reaper spat the name, “Figures.” He drew his hand from Jack’s face to instead press against one of the holes in his back. 

Jack cried out all at once, shivering from the pain which only caused the assassin to laugh cruelly. 

“How’d Ana rope you into this?” Reaper asked, “What’s the purpose?” He dug a talon into the wound and watched as the soldier squirmed like an insect being speared, “Tell me what I want to know and maybe you’ll live.” 

Jack just needed to buy time. 

Ana should have heard the gunshots, should have heard his shout. Noise echoed in rooms and hallways like this. He just needed to keep a level head, just needed to focus to muscle through. He’d been through worse, he could manage this. 

Reaper growled, the sound inhuman and terrifying as he slammed his hand down against Jack’s wounded back, “I can hear you thinking. Tell me!” 

“Fuck!” Jack gasped out, trying to get away from the pain, to dislodge the other man, turning to try and kick at him, to jerk himself away. 

It was the wrong thing to do. All at once Reaper flipped him, grabbed his throat and slammed his back into the dirty floor beneath them. His hands enclosed on Reaper’s wrist, but the grip the other man had on him was like iron. 

“Pathetic.” Reaper snorted; the sound unusual with the modulator that had to be in his mask(his voice didn’t sound human). “I can’t believe you gave us this much trouble. That no one else could kill you.” He scoffed. 

Jack clawed at the hand around his throat but the layer of armor and leather made it impossible for him to get through. Reaper applied a steady pressure, slowly choking him. 

“I am curious,” He said, as if he wasn’t in the process of killing someone, as if he had all the time in the world for a conversation. He lifted his other hand to Jack’s mask, silver talons digging into the edges of it, popping the locks and latches until the filtration system was dismantled, “Who you really are.” 

Jack could do nothing as Reaper lifted the mask; hearing his own heartbeat in his head as his vision was swamped by complete darkness. His eyes were open but he couldn’t see anything; not even the white of Reaper’s mask. His panic only reached a crescendo when he felt the pressure on his throat get stronger. He choked, lashing out at the darkness, wild in (what he felt were) his final moments. 

“You!” Reaper snarled; his voice echoing, like he was everywhere all at once, terrifying in the immediate rage that Jack could almost feel. 

Right when Jack thought he was about to pass out; the room lit up with white, distantly the sound of ‘popping’ filtered through his syrupy brain as well as the inhuman scream of Reaper when all at once his weight and the pressure on his throat was gone. 

Jack lurched from his space on the floor, coughing, choking for air. 

“Jack breathe, just breathe Jack.” Ana was at his side in a moment, could see the blue floating light of her mask, felt the hand on his shoulder guiding him so he could breathe easier. 

“R-Reaper?” He choked. 

“Gone.” Ana said. 

Without his mask he could smell ozone, death, blood and Ana. Her dry desert scent swamping the entire room; her pheromones thick and impossible to smell beyond. Protective, overpowering. 

He shook his head, feeling dizzy from both blood loss and the initial oxygen deprivation. He couldn’t focus, it felt like he was floating and he hissed when the room was bathed in light. He suddenly felt warm all over; Ana had activated a biotic canister. 

She was speaking to him, could hear the tone of her voice but it was getting more and more distant. 

He just couldn’t focus, his eyes felt heavy and with each slow blink the world began to dim at the edges. Turning darker and darker until he lost consciousness completely.


	4. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of short chapter, pushing things along. 
> 
> Updates will be every Monday until the work is complete. Please enjoy~ :)

Jack woke slowly; surrounded by warmth and the overpowering smell of desert and dry heat. The room, fuzzy at first, came into focus after a few blinks. 

It was the room he had been in when Reaper appeared. 

He was laying on his belly, surrounded by a ring of gold light from the biotic field; their camp lantern was glowing an ambient blue in the right corner of the room. He was bare from the waist up, chin pillowed on his arms. 

“That was the last canister we had.” Ana’s voice said to the left of him.

Slowly he turned his head to look at her. She was dressed down, the door just behind her was closed, their packs pushed against it like some makeshift barrier. Her cot, bedding and the hot plate was out. “How long was I down?” By the look of the set up camp around him, it had to be a while at least. 

“Fifteen hours, give or take.” She shrugged, looking exhausted in the dim lighting of the room, the shadows playing on her face doing her no favors. “I patched you up as well as I could. Got some of the bullet fragments out. Had to use all the canisters just to keep you stable.” She ran a hand down her face then adjusted the sniper rifle leaning against her shoulder. “Are you in any pain?” 

Jack frowned to himself and shook his head minutely, “No.” 

“Good.” Ana said as she reached into one of the nearby packs and rolled a canteen over to him. “You should drink. I’ve tried to keep you hydrated but I’m sure you need more. Should eat too.” A moment later she slid over two nutrition bars. 

Slowly, he pushed himself up, grunting from the pull on his back as he got himself sitting. His wounds felt like they were healed, but freshly stitched skin always had a bit of an uncomfortable pressure to it. He drank down the water and powered through the food; letting the silence settle as his mind wandered to the encounter. 

They got stuck hunkered down in Oasis because he had been careless. 

It was a wonder why Reaper didn’t just come back and finish them. Jack was weak, and though Ana was a good shot, if the man really couldn’t be killed, then why didn’t he just finish the job? 

Jack felt guilty for almost wanting it; wanting it all to be over. 

But no, not yet. He had a duty to Gabriel’s memory. 

“We should get to Numbani.” Ana said, cutting into Jack’s oppressive thoughts, “It’s a neutral zone and we can stock up on what we lost. Maybe sleep in a real bed for a few nights.” 

“That’s days out of our way. I can keep going.” Jack insisted, keeping his head down and feeling pathetic. 

“Maybe I suggested it for me, you selfish man.” Ana tried to lighten the mood, mirth in her tone despite what had just happened to them. 

Jack flushed and clenched his jaw, “If you want to go we can.” 

“Thank you for your permission Strike Commander.” She saluted as a joke and he couldn’t help the twitch of a smile it pulled from him. 

“You’re being ridiculous.” 

“Maybe.” Ana shrugged, “But I just went fifteen hours thinking you weren’t going to pull through this time. Talking to a possible corpse can make a person a little hysterical.” 

“I’m sorry Ana.” He said seriously. 

She waved him off, “Nothing to be sorry over. Reaper is something else entirely.” 

They knew very little about the assassin. They had never fought before this moment though they had started to fill the roster of who was currently in the Talon ranks. 

What they did know of Reaper; the man had appeared seven years ago. Where he went death followed. Whoever he targeted ended up dead; either shot, or withered to a husk. Corpses like mummies in the wake of his carnage and the patterns didn’t yet make sense. Also how quickly he could appear in one place to the next. 

For a little while the theory had been there were a lot of ‘Reapers’; but that fizzled when all accounts pointed at a single entity. 

It wouldn’t be possible to replicate how his inhuman body moved nor his fighting style. How he could withstand just about anything and at times(as Jack had just bore witness to) he wasn’t even a solid being at all. Could melt in and out of wherever he pleased, like a real ghost. 

“He knew who I was.” Jack murmured, “He pulled off the mask and knew my face.” 

“A lot of people would know your face, that’s why you wear a mask.” She tried to push the conversation aside. 

Jack pushed onward, “It was different. It felt like he hated me. There was just, just this incredible rage I felt when he revealed who I am. Like he knew who I was, and he hated me for it.” 

“Jack.” 

“Do you think he used to be Overwatch? Do you think he used to be someone we knew?” 

“Jack, I don’t know.” She tried to cut in but the omega didn’t let her.

“Do you think they used to be one of us and got turned? Like Amelie?” Jack said, “He knew you too Ana. He didn’t like you either.” 

She snorted a laugh at that but it didn’t disperse the new tension. She was silent at her post by the door, just staring at something beyond them both, not looking at him at all. 

Jack got an uneasy feeling, his blue eyes imploring as he searched her impassive profile, “Do you think we knew him too?” 

Ana was quiet a while, frowning to herself before she let out a long sigh. “I know you want me to suggest it might be Gabriel.” 

“I didn’t—“

She held up a hand, “But Gabriel is gone Jack. He died, he isn’t coming back, and it would be cruel to imagine him as whatever that thing Reaper is.” She turned her gaze on him finally, her dark eyes soft, “Don’t dwell on this. Reaper is the enemy, we will kill him and anyone else that gets in our way. We will fulfill our mission and we can’t sympathize for what used to be, for whoever Reaper used to be.” Ana shook her head, weary, “Sympathy caused me to lose my eye, almost my life. Let it go Jack, can you do that for me?” 

“Okay.” He said after a moment, feeling deflated all of a sudden, “I can do that.” He honestly didn’t know if he could just ‘let it go’; but he would try for her. She’d saved his life and he owed her that much, to at least try. 

“Good boy.” Ana praised softly before she got herself up from the floor, “Help me break down camp, let’s get out of here.”


	5. Fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early special update at the request of Maderi~ Hope you feel better!! :) 
> 
> More emotional turmoil for Jackie; will it ever end? ;)

The trip back through the deserts and over the rivers left Jack in his head. 

Despite what they had talked about in Oasis, he still couldn’t shake it. The idea that Reaper could be Gabriel. But he also didn’t know if he was just superimposing the image of his mate on top of the assassin. They both used shotguns, they both had been alphas(probably, it wasn’t like Jack could smell him at the time). 

But, that was really where the similarities stopped, didn’t it? 

Which made him realize how absurd the idea even was. He saw Gabriel’s corpse, had held his cold body, had mourned him. The pulse in his bond bite didn’t beat anymore and despite the common ache he always felt(still mourning), nothing else had changed after the encounter. 

Aside from this nagging feeling, some type of pull that made him feel suddenly directionless; lost. 

But there had just been something in the way he reacted to his face. That hellfire rage that he had felt before. In the tower, the day of the explosion. That fight between them; it echoed in his chest, the memory of Gabriel’s contorted expression and the sharp fangs he exposed at him in aggression. 

Gabriel had never been that mad at him before. 

They had fought a lot over the years(more times than he could count) but never like that.

He could never forget the feeling of his alpha’s rage; burning him from the inside out like a forest fire. How in that moment of anger and cruel words; he had almost been tempered, he’d almost given in to his simpering omega hindbrain and bared his throat, fallen to his knees, if only to cow that immense wall of anger. 

Reaper had felt like that, just like Gabriel, for those few brief seconds. 

Jack had felt that same instinctive tug to bare his throat and whimper. 

He didn’t know what to do with all these new feelings, all these new thoughts. So, he just kept to himself. Floated into his head and kept his mouth shut; not wanting to tell Ana about everything that was happening inside of him. She wouldn’t want to hear it anyway, even he understood he was being delusional. 

Communication between them was minimal and by the time they reached Numbani their water and rations were depleted. The first order of business had been restoring their resources(and finding a tinkerer to fix Jack’s mask), the second had been obtaining a hotel room for a couple nights. 

It was strange walking back into society, being surrounded by people again. 

Numbani was a melting pot of cultures and peoples, always busy no matter what time of day or year. Always alive and for some reason it made Jack ache. He didn’t miss people, not really, but he did miss being a part of something. Maybe it was just the omega in him, wanting a home, wanting a community. 

But his home was dead, and his community scattered to the wind. 

The hotel they chose had been on the outskirts of the city; nothing fancy or expensive, but it was still the best place they had stayed in, in years. Ana had done all the talking and soon a keycard was being placed in his hand while he followed the woman up the stairs to their room. 

Room twenty-four; the number causing another wave of nostalgia to wash over him. Of Gabriel fresh to the SEP, wearing stock clothing, everyone reduced to a number. Jack’s had been seventy-six and Gabriel had been twenty-four. His mate had also been twenty-four years old at the time of his induction to the program, he used to say it was goodluck, used to say it was fate that pushed him onto that path for all the right reasons. 

Jack didn’t believe in a higher power, but he could believe in whatever Gabriel said. Could remember seeing that number on the back of Gabriel’s shirt day in and day out as they ran drills. But, this didn’t mean anything, his mate was dead and their story was over. Had been over, for a long time. 

“Jack?” 

He started to Ana’s voice, to the feeling of her fingertips on his arm. “Sorry.” He grunted quickly, she’d already opened the door to their room and he stepped inside to avoid the look of worry on her face. The door was locked a moment after, their packs thrown down, their dirty clothes peeled off until they were just in their fatigues and undershirts. 

“You shower first, you need it more than me.” She suggested, walking further into the room to test the beds and to check the window on the opposite side. 

Jack didn’t protest, he was coated in dried blood, dirt, and grit. He’d rather get a hot shower and rinse himself clean. Besides, it would be nice to be alone a while, to get lost in his head some more and just drift. “I’ll be quick.” He offered as he started for the short hallway that led to the bathroom. 

“Take your time.” Ana called after him just as he shut the bathroom door. 

She was good to him, and she didn’t need all this extra baggage. 

Jack turned the taps on, tested the water, waited until the steam started to waft into the small room. Next he stripped out of his clothing and carefully peeled the bandages away. Long since healed, it had just been a precaution, and the added support for his back had helped the trek across the desert. 

He paused to view his reflection in the mirror, frowning to himself as his pale eyes flitted over his waxy complexion and all the scars littered here and there on his body. Folded burned skin on his torso, dual scars bisecting his face, bond bite nearly faded into oblivion on his neck. Couldn’t help it when his fingers touched over it, couldn’t even feel the grooves of Gabriel’s teeth; nearly worn smooth from time. 

Jack’s hair had bleached white, receded, there was dark grey stubble along his jaw and bags under his eyes. He was old, and he couldn’t remember getting old. Figured he’d age ugly; used to joke about it in the SEP, when they were young and in love. Used to coo that Gabriel would age like wine, be beautiful forever and Jack would age like milk. 

He’d never know how Gabriel would age; he’d died young enough to be timeless in his memories. 

He shook his head at his reflection and turned to brush the shower curtain aside and get himself standing in the tub. He let the water and the heat seep into his tired muscles and bones; the muck clinging to him washing down the drain until the water ran clean. 

Jack went through the motions monotonously; washing out his hair and lathering up his body. Trying not to think of how many times he’d fucked in the shower; how many times Gabriel would offer that sultry smirk of his and nudge his way inside. How he’d whisper praises just loud enough to be heard over the shower spray, how his mouth would slide somehow hotter and wetter than the water pouring down on them against his skin. 

Christ, and his teeth--

Gabriel would always open the bond bite nearly every time they’d fuck; he’d start purring but always end in a possessive growl when he’d latch into his skin. Would break it under his canines and let the blood flow. Jack missed that pain, missed feeling owned, missed the throbbing pulse of life in his bond.

But then he felt it; the ache in his bond. 

Immediately he clamped his hand to the side of his neck, so startled he ended up slipping backwards before he even knew. He shouted and grabbed at the curtain, yanking the plastic and the metal rod above it down as he fell in a heap at the bottom of the tub. 

A moment later the door burst open and Ana appeared, “Jack?” She called in alarm, approaching the shower quickly and turning off the taps. She grabbed a nearby towel and threw it around his shoulders, her face floating into his view as she looked him over, “What happened?” 

He felt dazed as he looked up at her; the phantom beat in his bond bite was there still, could feel it under his palm, afraid to draw his hand away in case it stopped. “I can feel it.” 

“Feel what, Jack?” She asked, toweling dry his hair and looking him over. A few moments after she ran her hands along his face, touched at his forehead, “You’re burning up.” Not just the residual heat from the shower, but more than that. 

“The bond.” He said, breathless, almost hysterical with hope, “The bond, Ana. I can feel it.” 

She frowned at him but didn’t respond right away, tried to nudge him out of the tub, “You have a fever. It’s been a long few days.” She tried to rationalize. 

“I don’t get fevers.” He shot back, getting himself out and shrugging off her helping hands. He wrapped the towel around his waist and followed her into the other room. 

“Well, you have one. How long have you felt warm?” 

“The desert is always warm, how would I know?” 

Ana glanced over her shoulder, “Don’t get snappy at me Morrison just because I don’t believe in your ghost.” 

Jack bit back the growl he wanted to emit(and how long had it been since he felt aggressive towards Ana?). He felt almost guilty about it, but something inside of him was nagging at him, feeling a familiar tug he hadn’t felt in years. Like when they had been in Oasis, when he had felt that overwhelming need to submit. 

“You could have an infection, could be your enhanced body is fighting it. Hence the fever.” She explained away, patting one of the beds as she passed it, a not-so-subtle invitation for Jack to lay down. “I couldn’t get out all the bullet fragments.” She reminded him. 

“I don’t have an infection. When I used to get them there’d be a burning at the infection site, even if I couldn’t visibly see the wound anymore.” Jack murmured albeit reluctantly, feeling tense towards Ana all of a sudden. 

Like it felt wrong to be in the same room with her, with another alpha, when he had started to feel this tug. This all over warmth and an ache to his muscles and bones. Different than fatigue or pain; something he could almost remember feeling a long, long time ago but couldn’t immediately place it. 

“Well, there’s something wrong with you and we’ll figure it out.” Ana said starchly, “First, we start with rest.” 

“I’m not tired.” He replied grumpily but had laid down as she’d wanted. Nearly nude above the covers, palm still cupped over his nearly non-existent bonding scar. Didn’t want to admit to himself that he couldn’t feel it anymore. As quickly as it came, it was gone again. Dead, like it used to be, like it was always going to be. Could feel the itch in the back of his brain; his omega instincts trying to react to it. Trying to throw him back into mourning; confused and grieving as if Gabriel had just died all over again. 

That sudden wave of depressive sadness smothered the frantic hope he had felt earlier. Made him wonder if he had felt the pulse at all, or if he had just suffered a delusion. 

Couldn’t help the whine that buried in his throat, nor the tears that stung in eyes. Jack drew in a deep shuddering breath but he couldn’t calm down once it started. 

Jack’s distress pheromones were thick and cloying on the air; choking out anything else as he suffered through this new(old) pain. He wanted Gabriel, he needed his alpha; but when he closed his eyes all he saw was his corpse. 

“Jack.” He heard Ana, felt her weight sink in at his side, felt her hand touch his face. 

“No!” He immediately jerked his head from her touch, another needy punched out sound coming from his throat. He didn’t open his eyes to look at her, just squirmed away and tried to breathe. 

“Relax.” She said softly, tone pitched low to try and be soothing. “You need to sleep it off.” 

Jack barely registered the prick to his arm; felt the fight start to drain from him. He offered a weak growl when he felt her fingers running through his damp hair but couldn’t jerk himself away from her. Slowly, he found himself slipping under whatever she had injected into him, falling into darkness--

Into the arms of Gabriel who was waiting for him there.


	6. Blood & Ozone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliff hangar for you guys! ;) 
> 
> Kind of short chapter, but leads into the next portion of the story. Please enjoy~

Jack’s fever didn’t break. 

He spent the next few days groggy, achy and fatigued. Ana gave him a sedative to help him sleep, but it didn’t stem the fever dreams nor did it stop the bone deep ache he felt. Like something(or someone) was calling him. 

He was a fussy patient; wouldn’t let Ana get too close, didn’t let her touch him(if he could help it). Ate the food and drank the water provided, but not more than that. She rationed his whisky and didn’t let him get as drunk as he was used to, didn’t let him numb the pain. She’d worked hard to nullify his drinking habit, but in moments like these all he wanted was to drown in a bottle and cry. Didn’t help that her alpha scent repulsed him and somehow he could smell it in more clarity than he ever had before. 

His omega hindbrain was pitching a fit; braying and angry, wanting him to move, wanting him to be somewhere that didn’t include Ana. Couldn’t find it in himself to even be embarrassed when he woke to his thighs covered in slick; his body naked and sweaty inside the nest he had made on the bed parallel to Ana’s. 

It was dark, just the barest hint of light coming in from the window. The clock on the nightstand read five o’six in the morning. 

He was restless, and his skin was too sensitive for the scratchy cheap sheets and blankets the hotel provided. He was overheated and needy, but his mind was clear; completely lucid because he wasn’t in heat. 

Couldn’t be in heat; hadn’t been since before he joined the military. Lost his fertility in the SEP; didn’t need suppressants or birth control after that. 

His body was just going haywire; like something inside of him had short circuited after his encounter with Reaper. They didn’t know what it was and he’d just drive himself mad with theories. 

He just needed to ride it out, just needed to temper the ache. 

Jack turned his head to look over at the lump on the opposite bed. Ana was snoring fitfully, illuminated dimly by the morning light. It had to just be her natural pheromones that were agitating him, that was sending him into this spiral because he had been thinking of Gabriel too much. 

That’s all it was(or so he wanted to convince himself it was); nothing serious. 

He just needed some fresh air, get his head back on straight, relieve himself of being swamped in her smell. With that in mind he threw off the blankets and sheets, rolled himself out of his nest and planted his feet on the floor. 

Jack could barely believe he even made a nest. Hadn’t in years, hadn’t felt the biological imperative to, and hadn’t felt comfortable enough(when Gabriel and his relationship had started to break) even before the explosion. 

It felt juvenile almost, like relying on a security blanket when it was obvious it wouldn’t save him from reality. 

But, he didn’t feel so logical at the moment, or even well stitched together. He felt scattered, lost and aimless. He needed something to ground him, but he had no idea what would be able to now. He never felt tethered by Ana; she’d always been a close friend, and now had become a strong teammate, but she wasn’t his alpha. 

Would never be, and just her touch and scent made his hackles rise(now). Like he was afraid she was trying to exert a claim. Like she was trying to encroach on his dead mate’s territory, even when that was absurd. But, he couldn’t help feeling it, and it made him tense, defensive. 

He set his feet on the floor, being careful to be quiet as he felt for the low table next to the bed, then the wall. Needing the support to walk without his braces and boots. Took longer than he’d like to get to the bathroom, and by the time he got there he was panting from the exertion as if he wasn’t a super soldier built to run marathons without breaking a sweat.

Whatever this was, it was kicking his ass. 

He flicked on the bathroom light and squinted into the brightness. He went through the motions of getting himself cleaned. Got himself a fresh pair of clothing; he debated with himself regarding his heavy jacket and armor. 

But, he hadn’t been able to wear it yet into Numbani. They had to keep a low profile to be able to check into the hotel, needing aliases. If he ran out in his flashy clothes he might grab undue attention. He didn’t think he was ready for a fight, and he just wanted to get some fresh air. 

Jack made his choice and stepped back out of the bathroom, getting himself back to the mattress so he could put on his braces and boots. Sweating already; his dark compression top already clinging to him. 

He left his visor on the nightstand and didn’t take his heavy rifle either. He planned on just getting outside the hotel, enough to clear his head and get away from Ana for a little while. Ease the ache in his belly and just think. Even if he was already feeling anxious with the thought of leaving the room he deemed ‘safe’, as well as leaving his weapons and armor behind. 

Before he second guessed himself any further he got himself back up on steady legs, walking to the hotel door and sneaking himself out. Didn’t take long to get down to the lobby and out into the early morning. The sun barely rising; the white-blue of the light shining off the mirrored towered buildings all around him. He wanted to escape the brightness, get somewhere cool and dark, somewhere secluded enough so he could breathe. 

Though the fresh chill air already was easing the heat on his skin. Felt like heaven the further he walked, ducking away from the sunlight to veer off into the nearby alleyway. He found a good spot and leaned up against the wall, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. 

Here the airflow was concentrated; giving him a nice personal breeze and the alley was remote. Everyone that was awake at this ungodly hour were walking on the main streets or concentrated in the main plaza. Voices of passersby muffled, giving him some peace and quiet and more importantly gave him a reprieve from the stuffy hotel room. 

Minutes dragged by until his nose twitched to an unusual smell. Hard to place at first, but the more he sniffed the air like a dog the more it came into focus. The scent was rich; like spicy dark chocolate or pepper and honey. 

Couldn’t help it when he kept taking in great lungfuls of it. He felt like he could get scent drunk on the smell alone. Felt like his insides were turning to melted butter and he hadn’t realized when he had started to pant like a bitch in heat. 

Took longer than it should’ve to finally connect the smell: alpha in rut. 

But, alphas didn’t affect Jack like they should. He was always resistant, especially to any in rut he smelled before. Even Ana’s passive smell upset him, especially now. He always thought it was the ghost of a bond he still carried that helped ward off the biological imperative to re-bond after his grieving process. 

Jack felt he had never finished grieving and suddenly he felt betrayed by his own body that it had decided now of all times that physically it was finished pining after Gabriel. That whoever this rogue alpha was; this person in rut would carry the notes of ‘home’ and ‘safety’ and made Jack ache so badly he felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

It wasn’t right. 

This person wasn’t Gabriel, and Jack didn’t want anyone but his mate. Even if his hindbrain was confused; even if this sexual fever felt like it could break if he could only be knotted. Just once, just some relief after this extremely long dry spell. 

But he wouldn’t. He’d never betray Gabriel’s memory. He vowed to never bond again. 

Jack opened his eyes and glanced around the alley as if expecting the stranger to appear. But there was no one there; just the phantom smell, that clearly had to have wafted in on the wind current. 

He shook his head, trying to clear it from the fog, trying to ignore the whining in the back of his brain. That itch on his skin and the fresh slick that had to be staining his black fatigues by now. He turned, intent to get back out of the alley, taking the first few steps--

Only to pause a moment later. 

The rut scent changed; carrying a burning ozone smell and the copper tang of blood. 

Immediately Jack was transported back to Oasis; that control room, to the oppressive fear and pain that resulted from it. 

He knew that smell, would know it for the rest of his days.

Reaper.


	7. Snuffed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than the others and contains explicit content! 
> 
> There will be an update Monday as well, since this chapter got a bit fussy. But, everything will be back to the usual schedule starting next week and shouldn't have any more spontaneous updates. This chapter also has a few nods to the original fic 'Fantasy Life', so you'll probably notice the parallels if you did read that one-shot before starting this journey. 
> 
> As always, please enjoy.

Jack didn’t have his weapons, armor, mask or his heavy clothing on. Just simple fatigues and a pulled over shirt. 

He hadn’t expected to be attacked, or ambushed in a city full of people in the early morning hours of the day. He had let his guard down because he had wanted a reprieve; just a moment to himself, to breathe in fresh air and to try and stop the impossible pining feeling deep in his bones. 

But, Jack was used to the world being unfair and cruel. This almost seemed expected. 

Moment of weakness, completely vulnerable and defenseless. 

Would he die here? 

The thought passed through his brain just as his natural flight or fight instincts kicked in because of the smell. Didn’t even think when his body jerked into motion to try and sprint towards the light at the end of the dim alleyway. 

He got some good strides in, boots heavy on the slightly damp concrete; echoing around him coupled with that inhuman laughter that followed a moment later. 

“You can’t run.” 

Jack shouted when he felt his entire body grabbed; as impossible as it seemed, it wasn’t. His arms, legs, waist, all of it was engulfed by a tangible black mist that felt like hard muscled arms. Before he could struggle, before he could do more but sour his scent with his own distress; the manifested fog slammed him into the alley wall. 

He grunted from the pain of it, unable to brace, he was knocked momentarily dizzy. Stunned just long enough for the mist to retreat, to coalesce into the shape of a person(not a person though, was he?) right behind him. 

Reaper’s hands bracketed his wrists, his clawed gloves shining menacingly in the sparse light. His entire body was pressed against Jack’s in a parody of intimacy while his feet had knocked Jack’s ankles apart, forcing him to spread. 

“That was pathetic.” He commented lazily, as if Jack’s life wasn’t hanging in the balance, as if he were bored. “You don’t even have any weapons. Not that they’d help.” He continued on, “I really don’t know how you’ve stayed alive so long. Reckless and stupid, like usual.” 

Jack felt humiliated and afraid, hardly processing what the wraith was saying. He bared his teeth at the spectre of death behind him, his blue eyes ablaze despite his obvious disadvantage. “If you’re going to do it, do it then!” He snarled, rumbling with a growl. 

“What do you think I’m going to do to you?” Reaper asked, patient as the grave, voice tinny and unnatural. 

Slowly, his omega brain was starting to realize that the rut scent he smelled earlier was coming from Reaper. Now that he was pinned, he was all but smothered by it. Under that layer of ozone and blood burned the scent of ‘safety’ and ‘home’. Spicy and overly familiar that Jack couldn’t help but flare his nostrils and wet his lips to taste it on his tongue. 

How could Reaper smell like that?

Was he doing it on purpose? Just trying to get into his head? Besides, Jack had never smelled Gabriel in rut--

He was just superimposing the notes he was familiar with over whoever this alpha was. Just a trick of his own mind, just wanting to grab onto something ‘real’ since he had been clinging to some delirious ‘hope’ that his mate survived like he had. 

Which led him to the icy realization that he was an omega in some state of sexual fever(not a heat, he kept reminding himself) and the man behind him was an alpha in rut. 

Was he--

Was he going to be raped? 

Jack tensed immediately, that chill running down his spine and bursting a new bloom of distress pheromones into the air. Even though there was no space to be had, he tried to flinch away, to wriggle his body, to do anything to move away from the oppressive mass of a man behind him. 

“You have an idea.” Reaper said with sadistic humor, the cold edge of his mask pressing against the side of Jack’s throat, his jaw. 

Faintly, he could feel the breath beneath it; the man was scenting him. It felt good, which should repulse him(but it didn’t, just the fever). Jack couldn’t help the whine that wedged in his throat, flexing his fingers against the dirty brick of the wall, “Don’t. Please.” 

“Please?” He taunted, knocking at Jack’s face but the omega wouldn’t relent. Wouldn’t bare his throat to him, kept his chin tucked tight and his angry gaze on him. 

“Kill me.” Jack said, trying to keep the warble of panic from his tone, “But don’t do this. Please.” 

“Do you beg for her?” 

The question was so bizarre and out of place that it threw him off balance, “What?” 

Reaper growled, the sound low and rolling like thunder, “You smell like her.” The mask trailed down further, across his shoulders and mid back before he snuffled right back up into Jack’s messy white-blond hair, “Everywhere.” 

“Ana?” 

The utterance of her name caused Reaper to hiss at him like a spitting cat, “You never smelled like this with me. Ripe, almost fertile.” He continued on in that same snarling tone, “Is it because of her?” 

Jack was suddenly floundering; feeling like he couldn’t breathe, “You?” He had his hopes, his theories, but to be confronted suddenly with the realization that Reaper could be Gabriel; he could hardly process it. 

“You smell so good.” Reaper crooned, the purely alpha noise extremely intimate and caused Jack’s entire body to flush with heat. 

This isn’t real, this couldn’t be--

Maybe a nightmare, or a delusional dream. 

He’d wake up in bed, in the hotel room. He’d stare up at the ceiling and tell himself he needed to get his shit together. That none of this could be real because Reaper wasn’t Gabriel--

Right? 

“So potent.” He continued onward, nosing at Jack’s jaw again, awkward as it was with the smooth metal of the mask. 

This time, Jack tilted his head, offered his throat; the action something he hadn’t done in years. Submitting to someone else; which got the alpha to rumble in approval. Except, when he thought he would feel the cool armor of the mask instead he felt lips. His toes curled in his boots at the feeling of tongue and teeth on his neck, nipping at the collar of his shirt and seemingly trying to locate his extremely faded bond scar. 

He wanted to believe in this. 

“I don’t like her scent on you.” He said again, this time releasing Jack’s hands(apparently convinced the omega wasn’t going to try and run or fight him). Instead his hands(just bare hands, no gloves, when had that happened?) ran under his shirt, touching at his flesh and tracing his distinct ribs. 

Life in the shadows had not been good to Jack. He lost a lot of weight, a lot of muscle mass. Survived on MREs and whatever they could usually scavenge. His body was worn down and thoroughly scarred; more than his mate would remember--

This was his mate, wasn’t he? 

“You died.” Jack choked on the words, “I saw you dead.” 

“So you replaced me?” The anger in the statement was soft, though no less accusatory. Still his mouth was on Jack’s neck as his hands followed new scar tissue down to his sharp hip bones. His clever fingers made work of Jack’s belt and the fastenings at the front of his pants; making it clear what his intent was. 

“No, no I would never, I couldn’t--” 

“I thought you were dead.” Reaper said, teeth sharp on the skin of his neck, causing Jack to shiver and keen, “I pushed you from that building to save you, but I thought the fall killed you. Saw on the news you were dead and buried.” 

So this was real, this was happening? 

Jack felt so light headed; his fever somehow worsening the more he was in contact with the alpha behind him. Breathing in his thick rut scent only caused his body to finally naturally respond to it. No longer afraid(though no less confused), he was starting to submit to everything happening, to everything he was feeling inside. Bursting at the seams with questions and desires; but focusing instead to just accept, endure, take whatever his ghost would give him. 

“But instead you’re running around the world with Ana. You’re doused in her scent and hiding. Sticking your nose in things you don’t belong in.” He said, hands working to yank Jack’s pants and underwear down, just enough to expose his flat ass. 

The scent of his slick was obscene in the chill air of the alley; creating a combustive cocktail with Reaper’s rut smell. Pushing them both further to the edge, towing that line of lucidity as their animal brains fought for control. 

Jack hissed at the cold, his muscles fluttering, intently aware how he was spread and what view Reaper would be given, “I-I was trying to understand what happened. Find out about the explosion, about why you,” He faltered, “About why you died.” 

“You weren’t interested in what was happening when we were ‘alive’.” He said mockingly, a little cruelly. “I came to you how many times? I told you there was something festering inside of Overwatch. You wouldn’t believe me.” 

“I’m sorry--”

“It was the first time you didn’t believe me.” He said, tone pitched lower, “The first time you turned your back on me.” 

It would haunt him, all of it. The guilt had been eating at him for years. It was why he went on this suicidal quest. He just wanted to find the answers, then he wanted to reunite with his mate. Except; his mate was right behind him. “I’m sorry.” Jack said again, soft and subdued. 

“You’re sorry.” Reaper said bitterly, breathing his scent in at the source, above his sensitive gland. “All this happened because of you.” He didn’t pull the punch of reality. 

Jack already knew that. Already beat himself up about it daily. His forehead touched the dirty brick of the wall. Wet eyes closed as he tried to breathe evenly. “I know.” He said, jaw clenched, “I know it’s all my fault.” 

“Good.” He grunted, teasing at the bond scar with his teeth, humming soft, “You’re still mine.” It wasn’t a question. Reaper had started to rock against him slow, let the omega feel the hardness still trapped in his pants, right against his bare wet ass. 

“Yes.” Jack whimpered, “Always. Only yours.” 

The words seemed to placate him, enough that he nuzzled at him almost tenderly, lost(for the moment) in their animal headspace, “Mine.” 

He opened his eyes enough to survey the barest profile of Reaper. The mask pushed up enough so he could see the lower half of his face. His dark goatee peppered with grey, his skin a sallow brown, his lips scarred and full. “You can’t go into rut.” Jack blurted out instead of anything else, not even caring at all(now) that he was exposed in the alley. This was still extremely public, anyone could walk down and see them(though God help whoever did at this point). 

“I used to not be able to turn into a cloud either.” Reaper snorted back with humor Jack was familiar with. 

It made his heart ache, how familiar the man behind him was so suddenly, like stepping into a real dream, or a moment in the past. It was overwhelming; almost too much as his eyes burned with tears, “Let me see you.” He wanted to see his eyes, wanted to kiss him, overwhelmed with the need for added intimacy. 

“No.” He said, tone commanding. 

“Please.” Jack pushed. 

Reaper growled low and menacing, causing the omega’s knees to feel weak. His teeth were bared, the long alpha canines posed over the meat of his neck but he didn’t bite in. Just rumbled there, “No.” 

Jack couldn’t help it when he clenched his jaw and merely tilted his head, giving more of his throat in submission to the angry display until Reaper withdrew his threat and went back to moving against him, to snuffling at his skin. 

As much as he wanted to argue, he didn’t. Though he felt desperate about it, light headed with the need for it. He resolved he’d be able to see later. There would be a later, right? There had to be. 

His mate was back, and now they’d be able to resolve their personal tensions. 

Talon didn’t mix into this equation; not when Jack was foggy with a fresh influx of hormones, and drunk on his mate’s syrupy rut scent. Everything Reaper really was, everything Reaper had really done; well, he wasn’t thinking deeply about any of that. 

It all fell away so this moment could happen. 

Even the dingy alley they were in, suddenly better than any other place he had ever been in before(since Gabriel’s death). He wanted to stay smothered under the alpha for as long as possible, never wanted to leave(which was absurd). 

“You’ve never smelled like this before.” Reaper said again, hands running down his body briefly before he worked on the belts and fastenings of his own pants. Building anticipation for Jack; hearing the noise the buckles made and knowing what was soon to happen. “Why do you smell like this?” 

Jack tipped his head back further, trying to give Reaper more room to breathe him in, to scent him openly like they were truly mates again. It soothed that anxiety and panic that he had been feeling earlier. “I don’t know.” He said honestly, “I got this fever after the fight in Oasis.” 

“Your scent is so deep.” Reaper commented, nuzzling into him, “Used to imagine what you’d smell like in heat. Maybe something like this.” His freed cock pressed up against the wet cleft of Jack’s ass, diving down to nudge against his hole. 

Just a fantasy, like the old days. Jack couldn’t go into heat, he wasn’t fertile, they both knew that. Yet the idea of it had Jack lifting up on his toes and presenting himself like a much younger man. 

“Christ-” He cursed under his breath as the alpha slowly started to press in; both of them groaning in unison to the feeling of it. Jack hadn’t had more than his fingers since Gabriel died(and not often, hard to get time away with Ana there). He’d always been big, but the burn after being empty for so long was bordering painful; but it was glorious. It grounded him and made him understand that all of this was real, that it was happening, that Gabriel was here. 

“You’re so tight.” He moaned next to the omega’s ear, nipping the skin briefly before he drew back enough to thrust in deep. Starting a quick, punishing rhythm that had Jack pillowing his face on his hands so his skin wouldn’t scrape against the brick. 

Jack felt comfortably smothered beneath Reaper; fully clothed(or nearly, in Jack’s case) as they both were, the temperature between them was hot. Knew that his alpha’s big body would be hiding him completely from view if someone looked down the alleyway. He hadn’t felt this comfortable trusting headspace in too long. 

Reaper’s pace was brutal, forcing them both towards their ends, quicker than either would probably want. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed along with their heavy breathing coupled with Reaper’s increasingly aggressive growling.

“Mine.” He hissed in Jack’s ear and caused the omega to coo; taking his cock over and over and over, relishing the feeling of being full, “Gonna breed you.” Continuing the fantasy that always made Jack a simpering mess. 

Reaper was just as possessive as he remembered, if not moreso. 

“Do it.” Jack demanded, quivering as he struggled against the wall, rocking backwards to assist in the deep fucking that had Reaper snarling against his skin. Beautiful in his rutting madness, “Please, I need it~!” 

“Make Ana know who you belong to.” He rumbled menacingly into his ear, hands running over Jack’s body, under his clothing. Touching at scars and folded burned skin; scent marking him with the oils on the pads of his fingers. Not losing momentum, getting worse the longer they fucked, “Make everyone know.” 

“Yes,” Jack groaned, losing himself to the fantasy of it all, “My alpha.” Felt good to say it finally, to mean it, for it to be real and not some dream. Couldn’t help the clunky purr Reaper had finally pulled from his chest; out of practice, but so comfortable and content he wanted to show it. Let Reaper build his frenzy and burn him from the inside out with his large cock; claiming his territory again. 

Jack lost himself to the rolling motions; little sounds punched out of him every now and then, unable to help nuzzling back into Reaper when the wraith nosed at him, nipping and placing suckling bites on his neck as if trying to find a place to re-bond. 

God, he hoped he bonded him again. 

Didn’t think he had the right to ask for it. Knew that a quick fuck wasn’t going to fix everything that was broken between them. But hyped up as he was, drunk on all the sensations and the very real fact that Gabriel was alive-- 

He wanted it, so badly. 

Reaper reached up, bracketing his throat with a calloused cupped palm. Forcing his head back and to the side, letting his body be bowed, Jack’s small cock leaking and ignored between his legs, “Gonna knot you. Fill you up and make you fat with pups.” He husked against his flushed skin. 

“Yes. Yes, please, please~!” He babbled breathlessly, nails digging into the wall, rocking backwards to encourage the man to press in deeper, could feel the knot start to inflate and catch on his rim. He was practically dripping; slick on his thighs, bleeding into his bunched up underwear and fatigues. 

The entire thing felt filthy and raw and perfect. 

The alpha didn’t need to be told twice; started rutting faster, angling up and pressing in every few thrusts until finally his knot worked through and locked them together as Reaper came deep inside his ass. 

Jack shouted; the pressure was immense, the feeling of liquid heat filling his insides tempered him and the cockhead nudged into his prostate caused him to orgasm. His own meager release coated the side of the brick, his entire body shivering, muscles clenching down to milk every drop from the alpha behind him. 

Reaper had groaned lowly; thumb gently stroking along Jack’s jawline where his throat was still trapped, his other hand was grounded on his hip to keep him balls deep inside of the omega. He worked through the aftershocks of his own orgasm until Jack felt pain erupt through his body only to be replaced by a wash of pleasure hormones even more potent than the untouched orgasm he had just experienced. 

The air smelled of blood and vaguely Jack was aware of Reaper’s deep growl vibrating into him. Only slightly aware that he’d started purring again, his entire body feeling numb; drunk on being knotted and bonded at the same time. 

“So good.” He couldn’t help but slur when he felt the alpha start to tongue at the oozing bite mark, sealing it with his sticky saliva and reigniting that familiar warmth, that pulse he had missed. 

Jack finally felt like he was ‘home’. 

“Mm.” Reaper affirmed, mouth red with blood, smearing it up into Jack’s white hairline when he nuzzled back and forth absently. Jack’s scent was deeper now, richer with notes that complimented the alpha’s natural musk, “Feels so good to be inside you.” 

“Forgot how much I loved being knotted.” Jack murmured sincerely, casually, as if last week they hadn’t been enemies. Ignored the way his body was already starting to ache in this position, difficult to hold himself up on his toes to keep Reaper deep inside. 

Reaper was quiet behind him, touching him softly still; breathing him in here and there, sometimes focusing attention back to the open wound he created. Gentle in a way that was purely reminiscent to who he really was; under all the kevlar, leather and smoke. “I didn’t know it was you.” He said quietly against the back of his neck. 

“What?” Jack said intelligently, still feeling fuzzy and barely there. 

“In Oasis.” He clarified, “I didn’t know it was you. When I saw your face I thought you had been hiding from me. That you replaced me with Ana.” He murmured, touching Jack still, breath warm on his skin. “I felt betrayed all over again. I was so angry.” 

“I didn’t know it was you, how could I?” Jack said just as quietly, the air between them starting to tense. “I found your corpse, after the explosion. I saw you.” The emotion was rushing through him again, clogging his throat and making him huff back a dry sob. 

“I know.” He said soberly. “But I couldn’t help feeling it, initially.” 

“Initially?” He tested the waters, remaining in his submissive position; still stuck on Reaper’s thick knot and bleeding from his bite. 

“After,” Reaper murmured, “I felt guilty and sick. For hurting you.” 

“Just flesh wounds.” Jack had tried to say wryly, to bring humor into the serious conversation. It didn’t hit the mark, for either of them. 

“I’ve never hurt you on purpose before.” Reaper continued as if Jack hadn’t spoken, “I was actually glad I got ill from it.” 

That meant he still cared, didn’t it? They both still had these feelings they couldn’t deny. Even if they hadn’t known who they had been before, they knew now. There was no going back to the way it was. 

Right? 

Jack could feel the knot start to deflate, losing that intense pressure and a part of him started to get anxious about it. He didn’t want this to end, he didn’t want to be separated. “I never stopped mourning you.” He decided to interject, voice gruff and barely there. 

“I’m sorry.” Reaper apologized into his hair, “I missed you so much Jackie.” 

He couldn’t help the flush that colored his face, nor the sting to his eyes or how he sniffled like a toddler. Overcome, suddenly. “We have each other now.” He said, hopeful, wanting it to be true. “We have days for your rut. We can find a place, hole up. You can knot me as many times as you want.” 

“I can’t.” Reaper said, voice holding more steel than before, as if this were non-negotiable. 

Jack bit his lip, trying to hold in the whine. The thought of Reaper leaving already, before they really had a chance to know each other again, it hurt. “Okay. When?” He tried to concede, even if everything in his body wanted him to turn around and cling to the wraith and never let him go again. 

The alpha slowly moved his hips back, gently easing his softened cock out of the omega. Couldn’t help pulling one of his cheeks apart and seeing the puffy winking hole, his cum leaking through the slick and into Jack’s clothing. 

The silence was becoming oppressive, Jack could feel the panic welling in his chest. He tried to turn around only for Reaper to press his hand against the back of his head and press his face into the brick. His touch felt almost cruel now, authoritative, and Jack could feel the talons that hadn’t been on his hand moments before digging into his scalp. “When?” He croaked out. 

“This was it Jack.” Reaper said, “This can’t happen again.”

“No!” He couldn’t help his exclamation, trying to push back from the alpha’s hold. “Don’t leave me again. Please! Gabriel!” He shouted at the brick, the air turning sour with distress and melting straight through the previous smell of sex and comfort. 

How quickly paradise burned. 

Jack heard Reaper adjusting himself, as if he wasn’t holding his newly bonded mate against the dirty wall; completely removed from the panicky tantrum Jack was having. “Gabriel is dead.” Reaper said, voice tinny again, mask back in place. “Forget about him.” 

The moment the pressure released from his body he turned around only to be met with an empty alley. 

Reaper was gone, just as quickly and mysteriously which he came. 

Jack had enough mind to pull up his pants; more working on autopilot as he looked from one end of the alley to the other as if expecting to see the shadow of his mate. Frantic in his need to find a clue, a trail, anything that would let him pursue the ghost. 

There was nothing. 

The light beyond the shadow of the narrow street bright and jovial, a complete contrast to the sudden suffocating mood Jack found himself in. 

That couldn’t have been it. 

He couldn’t believe it to be. Not after what had just happened, not after what he had just felt. He had Gabriel back in his life, his mate had been alive--

Yet it felt like his happiness had just fell through his fingers like sand. 

The bond bite wasn’t completed. He hadn’t been able to bite Reaper back. He was the only one who would feel the pain of a(soon to be) starving bond. He was the one who would suffer an open ended bond bite and all the emotional turmoil that came from it. 

Reaper had just opened up all his old wounds and left him to (figuratively) bleed out. 

Had all of this been a ruse? A sham? Was this just revenge for Jack’s stupid behavior in the past? 

He’d suffer. Worse than he ever had before. 

Jack couldn’t hold himself up, felt his legs buckle right from under him when he realized there was nowhere for him to go. No lead to follow, no ability to chase down the wraith. He sunk to the dirty street of the alley, sobbing openly like the broken man he was. He hugged his knees and balled himself up like a child; feeling extremely vulnerable and exposed. Tears running down his face and snot plugging his nose; face red and screwed up. 

He had always been an ugly crier.


	8. Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremely Jack-centric. 
> 
> Thank you all for the comments on the last chapter, good to know that I ripped your hearts out! Lol. It gets worse before it gets better, so strap on in. ;D

Eventually, he had managed to stop crying(it was a small miracle no one had stumbled upon him either).

Gained enough composure to get himself back on his feet to walk in the direction of the hotel. He didn’t know what time it was or how much time had passed since he left for his walk. He felt completely drained; still swamped with fever and emotionally numb. The bond bite stung; throbbing on his throat, open and raw. He stunk of sex, of Reaper, his eyes puffy and achy from crying himself out. 

He felt like he had absolutely nothing left to give. 

His entire mission to avenge Gabriel was tossed to the wind because Gabriel didn’t need avenging. He was alive, doing his own things, plotting his own course. He was a part of Talon; and whatever he was doing there wasn’t any of Jack’s business. He couldn’t hunt his mate(not when he knew who he really was) and Jack knew he also would never be able to really attack him, let alone kill him, if they ever came face to face again. 

He wasn’t a hero, not anymore. Those countless lives that died in the explosion, the destruction of Overwatch--

That was all his fault, and he didn’t deserve retribution. Not anymore, not when Gabriel didn’t want him, or care about him. Had shoved the knife into his heart and twisted it until Jack could no longer breathe. 

His mate had come back from the dead only to use him and reject him. 

He deserved this pain, this heartbreak. 

He had caused their relationship to originally fracture, he had caused them to initially drift apart. He was an idiot to think that his mate would accept him again with open arms, that a quick fuck would fix anything at all. 

They were enemies, on two sides of the battlefield now, and Jack didn’t want to fight this war anymore. 

He’d continued on auto pilot until he found himself at the hotel, in the lobby, down the hall and up the stairs until he made it to the door of their room. Jack slipped the keycard into the slot above the handle, waited for the green light and then pushed. He didn’t have a plan, didn’t know what to say to Ana, didn’t know how to explain everything that had just happened. 

Life decided to give him a small mercy; the room was empty. 

He’d flicked on the lights, Ana’s bed was made and the entire space smells like freshly brewed coffee. Most of their belongings were still within view and Jack’s ‘nest’ was undisturbed. There was a post-it note on the wall closest him, it caught his eye when he tried to walk further in. 

‘I went out, if you’re back before I am, don’t leave. I’ll bring take-out. :)’ 

The note was written in Ana’s pretty handwriting and dotted with a crude smiley face. The little emoticon staring at him from the hotel stationary seemed so out of place with his mood. Especially after what had just happened, after everything he was going through, it almost made him want to break down and start crying again(though he didn’t think he could produce anymore tears at this point). 

He left the note and walked further into the room, starting to think of what to do next. 

He decided he couldn’t tell Ana. 

At the least she’d want all the answers, she’d berate him for being foolish and going out alone, she’d worry and fuss. She’d form a plan, might even think about storming Talon(if they could ever find a good lead) or at the worst, she’d just try and track down Reaper.

If he told her Reaper was Gabriel, Jack had no doubt she’d track him. 

They couldn’t do that. 

Gabriel made it clear he didn't want him, he wanted to be left alone, and he wanted Jack to just ‘forget it’; like he ever could. Couldn’t even when he thought his mate was dead. 

She’d been trying to disperse his ‘delusions’ the entire trip; but proof wasn’t a delusion and she’d know it was Gabriel if he showed her his bonding bite. He’d never let anyone but his mate mark him, or touch him intimately. She’d know, even if he didn’t say anything at all. 

So Jack finally had a direction, a new mission. 

He quickly stripped out of his clothing and carefully placed everything on the nearby desk. He rifled through his duffel for a new set of clothes and hastily tugged them on. He grabbed an extra plastic bag from under the bathroom sink and reached to pick up the mass of soiled clothes to toss them in--

But he hesitated. 

This was the last time he’d ever smell Gabriel’s scent again. It would be gone forever and there’d be no getting it back. 

Jack clenched his jaw and fought the tightness of his throat. Right now he was scent marked, and even dizzy with fever and sorrow; at a base level he was still ‘comfortable’. His omega hindbrain tricked into thinking his mate was nearby. Every inhale thus far had given him Reaper’s spicy, heady rut scent. 

He couldn’t help it when he pressed the clothing to his face; closing his eyes and just breathing in. Drawing in deep lungfuls of the thick smell, tasting it on his tongue with his open mouth and trying to ease his frantic heartbeat. Couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling into it, as if he’d find skin, as if he’d find Gabriel buried inside the cotton. 

He wanted his mate. He needed him. Let himself fall into his headspace while he openly scented. Allowing himself this moment of weakness, of pain. Let himself have this, just this last moment; this ‘goodbye’ he’d never formally gotten. 

Indulged the pathetic omega side of himself a few moments longer before he shoved the clothing into the bag with a choked dry sob. 

He tied the bag before he could change his mind(knowing there was no way he could hide something like this from Ana, especially not something this saturated in foreign alpha scent). He left the room briefly, long enough to toss the bag in the trash bin outside and turned his back before the panic would gnaw at him and he’d do something foolish like dive in after it. 

When he got back to the room he quickly wiped down the desk where the clothing had been, making sure the smell didn’t linger. He then opened the adjacent window to air out anything hanging around before he’d walk himself down the hall to the bathroom. 

He turned on the taps and stripped himself again, kicking the clothing somewhere unimportant. He locked the bathroom door and glanced at himself in the mirror. 

Steam started to drift up to the ceiling and the smell of water was fresh and tart to his stuffy nose. Fogged the edges of the glass, his eyes following the grey mist before he finally turned his gaze on his face. 

His skin was a blotchy red, there were bags under his eyes, nearly bruises from crying so much. Everything about his expression and his dropped shoulders screamed ‘defeat’, and he truly felt it. Bone deep, this ache that just wouldn’t leave, worse now than before. 

Gabriel had been real, tangible, right there and he had lost him. Again. 

On his neck was a ring of teeth marks, over his previously faded scar; strong indents that broke skin and caused blood to bead, drip and congeal down his flesh. The trail running down the line of his neck and over his collar where it smudged against his skin(saturated mostly in the collar of the shirt he had thrown away). 

The wound was open but no longer bleeding; raw and ugly and perfect standing against his freckled skin. 

Jack’s trembling fingers followed the outlines of the teeth indentations; mapping it out across the raw edges of it and enjoying the soft pain he caused himself from touching it. 

Jack wanted it to scar, he needed the physical reminder of his mate, of what had happened between them. 

Even if Gabriel didn’t want him anymore; he still loved his mate with everything he had. He still wanted the other man, wraith, the ‘Reaper’; no matter what or who he was anymore. 

If Reaper had given him the word he would have fled with him. He would have waited anywhere, holed up in any place. Would have abandoned Ana and ran across the world if he had wanted him to. 

But he didn’t, and he hadn’t. 

Now he was here, back in this hotel room, just as alone as ever before. Traveling with one of his best friends who he now could no longer confide in. Who he now needed to actively lie to. Who he now needed to dissuade from ever pursuing anything involving Reaper(and possibly Talon as a whole). 

He turned from the mirror and stepped into the shower. He let the hot water run over his body and wash away the remains of Gabriel. His scent burning away by the scalding water, his cum dribbling down his thighs and running down the drain. 

Jack scrubbed himself clean, coating himself in the artificial soaps and shampoos offered by the hotel. Continued to clean himself until his white skin was rubbed raw, flushed red. Couldn’t stop himself from continuing to clean, wanting to be sure there was no trace of Reaper left.

Wanting to leave no residual reminder to torment himself or for Ana to sniff out. 

Didn’t know how long he was in the shower, but eventually he turned off the taps and stepped into the steamy bathroom. Toweled himself dry and slipped on the fresh clothes from earlier; left his boots and braces in the bathroom. When he opened the door the hotel room was still quiet, exactly as he left it, Ana hadn’t come back yet. 

He used the wall for support to get himself moving, making the slow trek to the bed. He sank down on the edge of it and scooted his duffel over with his foot. He dug into it and pulled out his small first aid kit. 

Even though he shouldn’t torture himself further, he wasn’t going to let his bond mark fade. Even if eventually it’d starve itself out, he wanted to keep the mark for as long as he could, even it was already causing him emotional and physical pain. 

Reaper had given it to him on purpose, even if he tried to negate the meaning behind it with his cruel words. He’d done it in the heat of the moment, because he wanted to. Jack could cling to that, if nothing else. That Reaper had succumbed to a moment of passion; pushed forward by his possessive fury which meant he still cared about Jack.

Deep down in whatever Reaper was, Gabriel still existed. He did believe that. 

He opened the snaps on the case and took out the antibacterial salve and a big square bandage. He’d already cleaned the wound in the shower, but he wanted to be sure it’d scar up properly. He applied the minty smelling medical cream and then the soft bandage. The bite was well above the collar, Reaper had marked a good chunk of his throat. 

Jack’s usual ensemble covered almost all of his skin, so when they were in the field he didn’t think he’d have a problem hiding anything from Ana. Though, here in the hotel, it might be a little harder. He’d manage it though, because he didn’t want her to find anything out, and he’d be sure to keep his(and Reaper’s) secret. 

He felt oppressed by the nest behind him, by the realization that even though his mate was alive he’d never find the comfort they used to have together. That he’d never be held or kissed or smothered in his scent ever again. 

That melancholy mourning was starting to cut into his omega hindbrain, the lack of Reaper’s scent starting to throw him into a tailspin. 

He bit his lip and felt the sting in his eyes as he gathered the medical supplies and shoved them back in the box, locked it up again and hid it back in the bottom of his old duffel. He then ran his hands down his face, trying to keep composure but he felt his heart rate start to pick up and his breath was coming short. 

The fever was still burning in his system, making him ache for the knot he just had in the alley. Wanting to be full, sated, and comfortable again. Wanted Reaper to croon and nuzzle at him and bite him again. Wanted his big body to smother him down into the nest he had made, wanted to breathe in his scent and stop the rising panic in his chest. 

Couldn’t help it when the tears started to fall again, making him sniffle pathetically and wipe at his face with his calloused palms. 

He didn’t know if he could do this, just survive again. Just mourn again. 

Could hardly see through the blur of tears in his eyes, could barely breathe with the pressure in his chest. Groped out blindly to touch at the nearby night stand to get at the small fridge beneath it. The offered ‘mini bar’ of drinks, snacks and alcohol. 

Jack hadn’t been drinking, Ana had been helping him stem his habit despite how most days(before) he’d rather drown in a bottle than shoulder any responsibilities. Now, he just couldn’t resist, he needed to quiet his mind and ease the pain. 

He took out all the tiny bottles of alcohol and drank each. Didn’t care about the burn, or the taste. Cheap alcohol would do the job. He used to care about the routine of it, about the ease in to release the stress. Would drink a lot, but would drink it down slow. 

Now, it was only about the end result. Just to get himself to sleep. 

He tossed the empty glass bottles onto the dingy carpet; hearing them roll aimlessly and knock into this or that. Jack started to feel the effects; the numbness to his limbs, the overall relaxation like a warm balm to his muscles. His head was filled with cotton and the world around him swam.

Still sniffling, still silently crying, but the raw pain of his recent heartbreak didn’t feel as poignant as before. 

He closed his eyes and moved to get up on the bed completely. He buried himself into the center of his nest, covering himself in the hotel blankets and tugging the pillows on top of him until he was completely covered up(which was a feat given how big Jack’s frame was). 

The nest smelled only like him(and all the artificial scents gathered from the hotel room). Safely tucked away in the cocoon of fabrics, he wrapped his arms around himself and pretended it was his mate holding him while he cried himself to sleep.


	9. Red Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapter update because both chapters are short! 
> 
> Also, there won't be another update until two weeks from now since my sister is popping in for a visit! So, I'll be busy and won't be able to work on the next chapters. But, after this week things should be back on schedule. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy~ c:

Jack woke when the blankets of his nest were being disturbed. A tired growl bubbled in his throat as he blearily blinked awake. He flinched to the hand on his forehead and immediately he was washed in Ana’s familiar alpha scent. Sour to his nose; made his stomach twist and bile burn in his throat. 

“That’s one way to get rid of your fever.” Ana said, and now that he was focusing, her face came into view above him. She didn’t look disappointed, but the smile on her face couldn’t hide the concern in her brown eye. 

“Got really bad.” He said, trying to repress the natural repulsion he felt towards Ana. As well as getting his stomach under control so he didn’t throw up all over her. Slowly, he pushed aside some of the blankets so he could get himself sitting up. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” Ana said sincerely, and Jack noticed from the still open window that it was night now. 

He’d slept the entire rest of the day away, and his fellow soldier had let him. Distantly, he could smell food and a glance towards the nearby desk revealed some empty to go containers as well as a bagged up portion untouched. 

Ana had sat back to give him room, no longer crowding his nest or too near to him. Jack was aware the room smelled of his sickness and distress; apparently his sleep hadn’t been an easy one and his body had been leaking pheromones like blood. “You’re not my keeper.” He grunted to her apology. 

“I’m not, but someone should be.” She said, a hint of humor to her tone that did nothing for either of them. “You look like hell Jack.” She mused seriously, “Maybe we should stay another night?” 

“No.” He said quickly, “We should keep going.” He didn’t want to stay here, he didn’t want the reminder and he didn’t want to keep nesting for an alpha who would never show up again. The room was too oppressive and he didn’t think he could walk the city and not think of the alley where he found his mate. He needed to get out of here, far away, hopefully run in the opposite direction of wherever Reaper had went. 

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” 

“The alcohol burned the fever out.” He lied, his head was pounding and he wanted nothing more than to just drink himself to oblivion. But, there wasn’t any alcohol left in the room. 

“Okay.” She said after a moment, still watching him intently to the point Jack had to look away. By doing so he had turned and the side of his throat with the bandage was clearly seen. “What happened there?” 

“Kept feeling the phantom pain.” He said, almost shocking how easy it was to lie to Ana, how simple it was to make excuses. “Thought the pressure would ease the ache of it.” 

Ana frowned a little, but seemed to believe him. “You know it’s all in your head.” 

“I know.” He said stiffly, “You don’t need to keep reminding me.” 

She didn’t respond, let the silence settle and got up from the bed a moment later. She retrieved the bundled up leftovers from the desk as well as a bottle of aspirin from her own duffel. She sat back on the bed and offered the stuff to Jack, “Eat, take a pill, then we’ll get on our way.” 

Jack did as he was told, grateful for the distraction. He drank the two waters from the mini fridge, ate the left over Indian food Ana had brought and swallowed a couple pills that may or may not ease his migraine. It was always hard to tell what substances would do to his enhanced body. Sometimes they worked, and other times they didn’t; depending on the severity of the dosages. 

It was why alcohol worked well as a numbing agent if he could drink three times more than an average person; otherwise he hardly felt a buzz before his system burned it out. 

“I figured we’d fly into Spain.” She started conversationally while Jack ate quickly and efficiently; like the soldier he was. 

“Why?” He asked, having only taken a couple minutes to finish the food he wrapped up the empty containers and bagged them. He reached down over the side of the bed to start picking up the mess of bottles; just something to keep him occupied. 

“There’s been some activity there I’d like to check out.” She said vaguely. 

“We weren’t able to continue our lead here.” He reminded her; even if he didn’t want to stay in Numbani, he wasn’t opposed to going back out to the wastes of the desert. He’d rather be somewhere unpopulated, somewhere without any real leads to anything so he could just exist in this limbo state he found himself in. 

“Reaper destroyed everything we found in Oasis.” She said nonchalantly, yet the name caused Jack to tense. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything before continuing, “So there’s nothing left for us here.” 

There was no way he could dissuade Ana outright from following their original mission plan. But, as of yet, she wasn’t actively pursuing Reaper singularly. She was pursuing the truth, and ambiguously Talon as a whole. So far, neither of those aspirations were threats to his attempt at keeping his ‘secret’ from her. 

“Okay.” He conceded. “Spain then.” 

“I’ll order the tickets. Get us a red eye out of here.” 

Jack grunted an affirmation and got to work on packing and gathering up his clothing, armor and gear for the flight. They had military IDs and aliases; able to travel on any major airline, bus, train or boat with their weapons without being bothered. 

He knew the flight would be smooth, and getting as far away from Numbani and the memories was ideal.


	10. Bad Habits

“You shouldn’t have drank so much on the plane.” Ana had said disapprovingly at his side; but she hadn’t stopped him from doing it in the first place, so he figured she wasn’t really all that upset. 

She’d been giving him a longer leash since his initial fever and breakdown in the shower. It was working in his favor anyway; even if the alcohol that barely counted as more than piss from the plane did nothing but buzz him. 

It still helped; that cottony feeling eased the static in his brain and the constant throb in his bond bite. 

“Why Spain?” He asked, despite having all the time in the world to inquire on the plane over, he hadn’t. Spent it drinking and staring out the window, ignoring everything, including Ana until the plane had touched down again. 

They’d gathered their belongings in continued silence and currently were on the road towards another hotel. Being away from civilization so long made coming back to it that much more strange. 

Usually they found somewhere remote, pitched a tent and survived. But Ana seemed intent on staying in a city this time. Jack assumed it was because of how he was acting, because he was drinking. She was probably concerned he’d relapse into whatever his fever had been, wanted to be sure they were somewhere he could get help if he needed it. 

He knew Ana was a good person, a good friend, a good alpha. 

But she wasn’t his alpha, and her current doting and concern rubbed him the wrong way. Gabriel should be here, Gabriel should be doing this. Making sure he was comfortable and safe, making sure his bond didn’t starve, making sure he wasn’t drinking himself to death. 

But his mate wasn’t here, and he’d never be here, and all he had was Ana. 

“There was a sighting of a woman that goes by the alias ‘Sombra’.” Ana informed, “She’s Talon’s lead in intelligence.” 

“When was this sighting?” 

“Two days ago.” 

“When did you find this out?” 

“When I went out while you were gone.” Ana said, “Funny what you can find in a newspaper. It seems like Talon isn’t all that low profile. Sombra herself makes a lot of appearances. Though, I’m not sure how accurate the leads are. Some people claim she’s in multiple places at once.” 

Odd, since they had known about Talon for a while, but hadn’t known enough to really pursue before. Normally, it was just dead end leads or whispers. The Talon organization itself seemed like it was comprised of shadows and the people recruited in it seemed superhuman(going by rumors).

Since his encounter with Reaper he now realized that Amelie being alive and dead could be a true fact. His mate could turn into fog; it felt like anything was possible at this point. Maybe Sombra could just clone herself; Jack really had no idea what to expect from Talon. 

Which only gave him more questions than answers. His big one was what had turned Gabriel into that thing that he was now?

“So what do you plan on doing?” He asked as neutrally as possible once they had checked into the hotel on the edge of town. 

The city they had landed in was still big, packed with people and loud. But at least in the early morning, it wasn’t as bad as it clearly could be. Jack was grateful to be indoors and this time their room number was three hundred eighty-eight which had no correlation to anything in his life(past or present). 

“She may not even be here anymore.” Ana shrugged, setting down her gear once they were in the room and shrugging out of her coat, “But, I’m going to ask around, see if anything turns up. I clipped the photograph that was in the paper of her. Maybe someone will recognize her.” 

“Maybe.” Jack said, but he wasn’t interested. 

Ana picked up on his tone, watching him, though Jack didn’t strip anything aside from his pack and weapons, “I assume you’ll be coming with me, to search.” 

He clenched his jaw, “No.” 

“No?” She mocked, “This cause is just as important to you as it is to me.” She stared at his profile but Jack stubbornly wouldn’t look at her, “Am I wrong?” 

“I want answers.” Jack said, and he did, but to questions that Ana didn’t know he was asking. He wanted to know what Gabriel was, he wanted to know why he just left him, wanted to know how he could just leave him after bonding him after expressing that he had missed him, that he cared--

Was Gabriel really just this furious with him still? That all these years apart couldn’t mend the fracture of their relationship? 

“Then you’ll come with?” 

“No.” He said again, “I need time alone. I still feel like shit.” 

“Drinking won’t help.” Ana needled. 

“Just let me have this.” He said gruffly, feeling the sting in his eyes and quickly he went to sit on the bed, to get his back to her. Didn’t want her to see that he was already close to breaking down again. He couldn’t afford to show his weakness in front of her, couldn’t let her know anything had happened from the time he left the room to the time he came back. 

Besides, if he could get her out of the hotel, he could keep managing his condition without her finding out. 

Despite her silence, he knew she wanted to say something. Could just feel it, just knew her enough by now to know she wanted to nag at him. But, blessedly, she didn’t. “Okay.” She said, “I’ll give you a couple days to get your head on straight. Fair?” 

He needed more than a couple days. He needed months. Maybe years. But honestly, he didn’t think he’d ever get over this new pain. Knowing his mate was alive, living out in the world, and just didn’t want to have anything to do with him. It was a different sort of agony from when he had thought Gabriel was dead. 

“Fair.” He said instead of anything else he had wanted to say; keeping his shoulders bunched up, posture defensive. 

She let out a sigh before she got up again, “I’m going to get started on it. Just get some rest, Jack.” She went back to retrieve her coat and weapons; it seemed initially maybe she was going to bed down, but after the sour mood, maybe she wanted some separation as well. 

Jack couldn’t feel guilty about it, “I’ll do that.” 

“Good.” She said, “See you in a few hours.” 

Jack watched her leave, the door shut and he was finally left alone again. After a few moments of just staring around the room, of rubbing down his face and sniffing back fresh tears, he decided to pick up the phone for room service. 

“Yes, hello?” He spoke once the woman on the other end picked up. Voice cheery, young, completely oblivious to his personal turmoil. “I’d like your cheapest bottle of whiskey brought up to room three eighty eight.” He added hastily, “Make it three, please.” He made a noise of affirmation, “Thank you.” 

It didn’t matter what it cost, what any of this cost. They had the money, enough to splurge since they rarely ever touched civilization. 

But honestly, the money was the last thing on his mind. He just wanted to be sure he could continue to chase this buzz, feeling like if he didn’t he would surely drive himself mad with grief.


	11. End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: suicidal thoughts/actions

The next weeks passed in a haze for Jack. 

Just a blur of meaningless conversation, too bright colors and cheap bitter alcohol. 

He drank himself stupid each and every night. Ana had stopped trying to get him sober enough to go out with her(he’d be more of a liability in his current state more than anything else). She had also stopped trying to understand the distinct trigger to his drinking and his emotional pain. 

Though he never outwardly broke down in front of her, the glances she’d tossed his way(when she’d come to the hotel to bed down) were accusing enough. 

She knew something had happened, but didn’t have the insight to understand what that ‘something’ was. Obviously wouldn’t jump to the impossible conclusion that Gabriel had somehow came back from the dead and bonded with him. 

Ana was a rational, logical woman. 

Jack figured she might’ve pegged his binging on his pining for the past, for his delusions at the Oasis base and the resulting continuation of them in Africa. 

Ana blessedly gave him the room he needed and let him fight his demons in his own (unhealthy) way. 

But it got to a point at the end of week six that the alcohol just wasn’t helping(though it could be debated if it had ever helped at all). 

No matter how much he drank he couldn’t forget. Jack could no longer get into that numb zone he had managed the first couple weeks into this grieving process. He started crying himself to sleep; having an emotional hair trigger he hadn’t had before. 

It got to the point that Ana had tried to fuss and hush him when he tried to sleep(but he never let her close enough to smother or touch him). More than once she tried to coax out what he’d been feeling, how this had started, but Jack never indulged her concerned curiosity. Kept the conversations short and impersonal, didn’t want to let her dive into his depressive mindset. He just kept pushing her away again and again but he didn’t know how long she’d let him buffet her aside before she’d smother him with tough love. 

He started having waking nightmares of Gabriel dying over and over. Of Reaper solidifying from the shadows collected in the corners of the hotel room, of the moment in the alley, of the crushing abandonment and sorrow that followed after it. 

Eventually he’d built a tolerance(just another amazing ‘perk’ from the SEP) to the shitty alcohol he knocked back every night. It took more and more to even get a buzz. His body just wasn’t allowing him to run away from his problems anymore and he was left in the wake of the booze binge. 

The hotel room was only clean because of Ana. She brought in water and food, had tried to get him to eat(but he barely did). Even though she aired it out every day the place was still saturated with the smell of cheap alcohol, sweat, and his stale distress pheromones. 

He still had some liquor left and he was still riding on the coattails of his last useless buzz. He had been staring out the opposite window for too long, longer than he could remember. Laying on his side in the loose remnants of what could be considered a ‘nest’(though it didn’t have the stiff sides, he had still collected blankets and pillows to make a comfortable mass). 

Didn’t know what time of the day Ana had left, but he knew he was alone(though didn’t know for how long). 

He was always uncomfortably clothed. Always hiding his bandaged bond mark(hadn’t let her see it again after the first time because he knew she’d ask questions). His skin itched like he wanted to be touched, and his bonding bite still throbbed with a heartbeat. 

Jack wanted so badly to have his mate here with him. To listen to the beating of his heart in person(with his ear to his chest), to feel his solid body under his own. 

He could remember what Reaper had smelled like; ozone, gunpowder and blood. But he couldn’t replicate the scent, couldn’t remember the softer notes beneath that reminded him of Gabriel. Couldn’t remember that rut smell that had clung to him after their feverish sex in the alley. He ached for the scent of him and each new day only left him with more bitterness and a growing aversion to Ana’s alpha smell(more than he’d ever had before). 

He wished he could have seen Reaper’s face, could have been allowed to kiss him.

He desperately wanted a tangible physical connection and his teeth ached with the need to bite into Gabriel’s throat and seal their bond. He wanted that dual connection and not this festering, dying wound that Reaper had cruelly left him with. 

He was terrified the bond would close.

That he’d suffer the same horrific come-down he suffered when Gabriel had ‘died’. That he’d need to survive another starving bond(and knew it would hurt worse knowing that his mate was out there but he just wouldn’t come ‘home’). 

These thoughts only continued to circle down the figurative drain; that he was abandoned, that Gabriel hated him, that he was left to rot in this hotel room on purpose. 

That maybe somewhere out there Reaper was watching him from the shadows. That he was watching him deteriorate. That he was taking pleasure in his suffering. 

It hurt more than he thought was possible. 

Worse than any fight they had ever had. 

It was these painful realizations that had Jack finally getting himself out of bed. He put his bare feet on the ratty hotel carpet and forced himself standing with a pained grunt. He caught himself on the wall when he experienced a spike of vertigo. 

He’d rooted briefly in the bag resting at the base of the night stand. Just long enough to pull the pistol and it’s holster out(hadn’t touched his weapons in weeks, hadn’t been dressed in full gear either in just as long). 

He used the wall to support himself on his trek to the bathroom on his weak shaky legs. Turning on the harsh fluorescent lights and locking the door behind himself. He set the holstered gun on the counter and avoided looking at himself in the mirror. 

Instead he stripped off his shirt and slowly unwound the fresh bandages from his throat. Slowly the bright white gauze fell to the floor alongside his shirt. Blindly he touched at the bond bite the moment it was revealed, feeling the scarred indents of teeth. 

The pressure on the sensitive mark caused his throat to tighten up and tears to sting his eyes. All the anguish he had been feeling withering away in bed had caught up to him suddenly. He took a few shuddering breaths, trying to get himself under control enough to tip his head up and look at himself in the mirror. 

The bathroom lighting didn’t do him any favors. 

His skin was flushed, shiny as if he were damp, the dark bags under his eyes were worse and just worked to accent his deep crows feet. His hair was a matted grey-white, dirty and greasy since he was hard pressed to shower or really care for himself beyond the basics(and even that was a stretch). 

He looked like shit warmed up. 

A lost, broken down, abandoned omega. 

It almost felt like the man in the mirror was a stranger. Old, scarred, and extremely fragile. 

The drinking binge had only worked to pale his skin and his lack of eating had caused his body to thin out. His super soldier metabolism working against him; attacking his muscles for energy and leaving him looking withered and aged. Though, he had definitely not been at his best at the start of this mission years before, he definitely looked considerably worse now. 

On his throat the marks of Reaper’s teeth stood out. He had meticulously cared for the bite mark(more than any other part of his body); was sure to clean and dress it whenever he had the chance, when Ana wasn’t in the hotel room. 

His attentiveness left him with a pristine bonding scar. Long since healed over, fresh in the deep grooves of teeth left on his skin. Unmistakable as to what it was, about how much the alpha who left it meant to him. His version of ‘nesting’ since the empty padded bed in the other room would never be a place his alpha slept. 

Instead he had this, a morbid reminder to the moment they had shared, to the passion he had felt. To that connection that surged through his body when the alpha had bit into him at the apex of their shared pleasure. 

It had felt real, he had wanted it to be real. 

Jack looked down to the pistol, still hidden in its leather pouch. Slowly, as if in a daze, he unclipped the buckle on the hostler and fished out the shiny silver automatic. He held it in his hand, the weight of it comfortable, familiar. He found the safety on the side of the gun and clicked it ‘off’ with practiced ease. 

There was just one bullet in the clip. 

Normally he kept the gun strapped to his thigh, it had become an ‘option’ when things felt dire. 

Sometimes(like now) he’d take it out, test the weight and think about ending it all. Before, it had been the ending to his story. That after he figured out what had really happened inside of Overwatch, he’d get his closure and he’d end his life so he could be with Gabriel again. 

It had been a comfort, to know he would be in control of his own ‘end’. 

Jack took a breath and lifted the weapon until the muzzle of it rested against his heart. He held it firmly in both hands, letting the pressure of it, the finality of it nudge at his anxiety. The adrenaline kicked in a moment after; the flight or fight instinct. 

To pull the trigger or put the gun away. 

He lifted his eyes and stared at his reflection in the mirror; his blue eyes endless and haunted, as if surveying the scene from outside his body. As if he was looking at a different broken man on the cusp of ending his life. 

Gabriel wouldn’t even feel it, if he killed himself. 

He wouldn’t feel the bond break like a rubber band. He wouldn’t feel the last beats of Jack’s heart. He wouldn’t be consumed with the crushing anguish that would follow. He wouldn’t spend his nights suffering a starving bond and thinking about the ‘what ifs’, the other endings to their story, to all the possibilities that had gone up in smoke. 

If he did it right now his mate wouldn’t know of his pain, or his death. 

But, would he even care, if he found out?

Jack cocked the hammer back, tears in in his eyes, obscuring the image of himself in the mirror. Becoming just a blob of colors, the world washing out around him like a wet watercolor. 

“Jack?” 

He flinched to the sound of Ana’s muffled voice on the other side of the door. He hadn’t heard her come back in; but the pounding in his ears had been too loud to hear much else. Carefully he set the hammer back in place and switched the safety back on the weapon. “Yeah, I’m here.” He said, his voice reedy and hollow. 

“You good in there?” 

He holstered the weapon, wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to suppress his sniffling. He took in a few calming breaths, trying to get his head back on straight, trying not to think about how close he had been to pulling the trigger this time. 

“Just going to take a shower.” He said to cover up the emotions choking his throat. 

“That’s good.” She said, tapping on the door gently in what he assumed was supposed to be a comforting gesture. “I’m proud of you.” 

Just because he had gotten out of bed, just because for the moment he had stopped drinking, just because he had finally decided to wash himself after more than a week. 

She thought he was taking small steps to better himself, but that hadn’t been the case. 

He felt like he should feel guilt for keeping so much from her, for lying to her. But he didn’t feel bad about that, but he did feel bad about being a shitty friend. She shouldn’t have to keep coddling him and dealing with his black moods like he was a child. 

Ending his life now wouldn’t be fair to Ana, she didn’t deserve to find his body bleeding out in a shitty hotel bathroom after everything she had done for him. 

Ending his life also wouldn’t let him see his mate. 

Gabriel was alive, out there in the world, avoiding him. 

But, he was alive. 

There was still the slim possibility, the slim hope that the alpha would eventually come back to him. That eventually he’d forgive him, maybe he’d even accept him as his true mate again. 

Jack couldn’t kill himself if Gabriel was still alive. Couldn’t drink himself to death anymore either(for Ana). 

“I’ll be out in a little while.” He said, turning from the mirror and stepping over to the tub. He turned on the taps, letting the hiss of the shower drown out his circling thoughts. Let the steam obscure the bathroom and let the gradual heated air start to relax him. 

“Take your time.” 

That’s what he needed to do. Just take things one day at a time.


	12. Detox

The weeks following his decision to quit his drinking and get back on track had been hell. 

Ana thought he was just experiencing an extremely awful detox which was associated with coming off an alcohol binge as bad as his. 

Jack felt weak, woke up in cold sweats and threw up just about everything he tried to keep down. Liquids, solids, his body purged all of it and he often found himself shaking and fatigued after he’d thrown up. Most the time he stayed in the bathroom, sleeping on the floor and feeling like he was dying. 

He knew this wasn’t a detox, but the guise of it worked to fool Ana. 

This was a starving bond, though the severity was much more intense than when he experienced it the first time around. Ana had been there when his bond had originally starved itself out; and though the symptoms were similar, since he had been heavily drinking before, luckily he had a veil to keep her in the dark about what was really going on. 

Before, it had never lasted this long. 

It had almost been a month since his choice to ‘stop’. 

It felt like each day was getting worse and worse, and distantly he thought something might be really wrong. Maybe it wasn’t just a starving bond, maybe it was something else. 

Jack groaned when he pulled himself away from the toilet, unsure how many times he had thrown up now, but all he had left was bile. Sweat stung his eyes and he still clung to the bowl because if he didn’t he’d definitely just fall onto the floor. 

Ana was hovering to his right, gently cleaning his brow with a wet cloth, “Are you sure you don’t want to get undressed? You need to be comfortable, not modest.” 

His head was pounding and he had to close his eyes, feeling dizzy and disorientated. Even though Ana was close to him, it felt like she was far away, like she was speaking through cotton. “No.” He managed to mumble, though his clothing was uncomfortably stuck to him, damp with sweat. He couldn’t take off his clothes with Ana there, she’d see his bandaged throat and she’d ask questions. He didn’t want her to see the bite, and had guarded it intensely ever since he got it. 

She made a noise like she wanted to protest but she didn’t. Instead she gently tipped his head back and pressed the mouth of the water bottle to his lips. “Drink.” She said instead of anything else she wanted to say, and Jack knew she wanted to say more. 

Since he had been sick she’d been holding her tongue, tending to him like a live in nurse. 

He appreciated her, but he also really didn’t know what to say to her about all this. Didn’t know if the guise of it being detox would fly forever. Didn’t know how long the bond would take to starve itself out. 

Jack was scared to lose the comforting throb of Gabriel’s heartbeat in his neck. But he felt like it was going to happen, like he was on the cusp of it happening, any day now. 

Knew that once he stopped feeling the beat that this sickness would pass. He wanted to find relief in that, but he couldn’t. Would rather stay sick forever if only he could keep this tiny tangible connection to his estranged mate. 

He drank the offered water to try and rid himself of the cottonmouth and the bitter aftertaste of bile. Drank until there was nothing left and turned his face away from Ana’s gentling hands. He was still hunched over the toilet bowl and the bathroom was ripe with his illness and his distress. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked, and she had asked many times over the course of weeks.

But just like before, Jack was quiet, opened his eyes to stare at his reflection in the clean water of the toilet, trying to fight down his urge to retch up what he had just drank. 

Ana made a noise in her throat, irritated(which he could understand given how much she had been doing for him, putting their mission on hold and blowing their funds for this hotel room), “Symptoms, then.” 

“You know what they are by now.” He grunted albeit rudely. 

“Talk to me Jack.” 

He exhaled deeply, “Migraine, nausea, chills, muscles aches and fatigue.” 

“Fever?” 

“No fever.” He murmured tiredly, feeling the burn in his throat, rearing up so he could better hunch over the bowl. 

“This has been a while,” She said softly, her hand on his back now, rubbing gentle circles. “Figured your body would have burned through the remnants of alcohol by now.” 

He clenched his jaw, “Well, it hasn’t.” 

“It’s unusual.” She tried to pry; though he knew she didn’t know what she was prying for. Only that this wasn’t in the norm and maybe she thought at the least he was hiding some of his symptoms from her. 

Before he could respond he retched again; nothing but water and bile, followed by dry heaves and coughing. Tears stung his eyes as he tried to come down from it, a shaky hand lifting to flush the toilet when he was finally finished. 

Ana continued to pet him, to coo at his side, wiped his brow again with the wet cloth. Tending to him like a child, and distantly he wondered if she had done this for Fareeha. But, just the thought of the young girl felt like a lifetime ago. Fareeha was an adult now, living somewhere in Egypt, still doing missions for the government and striving despite her absent father. 

Fareeha’s mother was still alive in Canada, and she still had contact. It was a solace for Ana, he knew, that her daughter wasn’t without family, that she wasn’t completely abandoned. 

He knew that Ana’s big fear was that when she was able to reveal herself again to her daughter, after all this was done, that Fareeha would never forgive her, would turn her back on her. 

Jack didn’t have the strength to push her off like he usually did, and just allowed the physical comfort however revolting it was(on a base, primal omega level). Only worked to remind him over and over again that he was without his alpha, that he had been abandoned and left to suffer. 

“Well, I don’t know what to say about it.” He finally managed to grouse. 

“You’ve also been emotional.” She decided to point out when he could breathe normally again. “You’ve been crying a lot. You’ve been having mood swings.” Ana said it nonchalantly, but she was clearly digging for more.

“It’s painful.” 

“Detox is painful.” She agreed.

Jack knew that wasn’t the end of it and turned his wet blue eyes on the woman at his side. He frowned at her, “What do you want me to say?” 

“Is something else going on, Jack?” She asked calmly, leveling him with her intense stare. 

He watched her a long moment, keeping his face impassive, feeling the sweat bead and drip down his temples. He knew she was looking for any crack in his expression, any visible weakness that would allude to him lying. Jack hoped she found nothing telling on his face. “No.” He said staunchly. 

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Nothing else is going on.” He said carefully, knowing any fracture in his facade and she’d know everything(or at least she’d smell the blood in the water and go in for the kill). 

“You better not be lying to me Jack Morrison.” 

Jack felt it then; the press of her alpha influence, smelled the influx of her dry desert pheromones. His body bristled in response and he couldn’t help but bare his teeth at her. 

Ana didn’t back down, had sat up a little straighter, her small body somehow more imposing than his emaciated sickly frame. She stared him down and bared her own fangs, her canines prominent where Jack only had tiny fangs and a mouthful of blunt teeth. 

Eventually he huffed and looked away first, hiding his teeth with a grumble, “I’m not lying to you Ana.” 

“Okay.” She said finally and got herself up. She took the empty water bottle with her and paused in the doorway. “Do you need help with the bath?” 

Honestly? He probably did. 

But he didn’t want her to see his mating mark. So instead he just shook his head and hoped he could manage getting in the tub, washing, and not drown himself. “I’m good.” He said quietly. 

“I’ll see what I can make you that you can keep down.” She said, “I’ll check in on you if you take too long.” 

“Understood.” He said, feeling his nausea finally start to abate, “Thank you Ana.” 

She started to close the door, “You’re welcome Jack.”


	13. Heartbeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter.
> 
> I had a lot of things going on this week and I just didn't have enough time to write another to pair with the shortness of this one. But, we're on schedule for the usual update every Monday, so no worries there.
> 
> Enjoy~

It would be a week later when he would feel it. 

Just another morning in his personal corner of hell. Laying nearly comatose on the hotel bed, the blankets and pillows arranged in a makeshift nest. He was normally heavily clothed, like now, to be sure to hide his bond bite. 

The fever hadn’t broken but some days it was more mild than others(this was a mild day); though he still felt too nauseated to eat, and dehydrated most the time. Ana forced fluids into him and fed him even when he didn’t want it. The bucket by the bed was used more often than he liked to admit; but he wasn’t rushing to the bathroom like he had been previously to throw up every moment he tried to eat or drink. 

Something still felt off but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Like a shift under his skin that made him aware something was ‘wrong’. It felt like a growing sense of urgency, like he should be aware of something he wasn’t. A constant itch that left him anxious which only furthered to upset his already sensitive stomach. 

He only told Ana of his fleeting symptoms day by day, but didn’t confide anything else. 

She had her suspicions that maybe this was worse than he was letting on, but currently he didn’t think she suspected anything further than that. The scandal with Reaper wasn’t something he would ever admit, and something he didn’t think she’d ever catch onto.

Especially since her lead about Sombra had dissolved. She had been too busy holed up with him to really pursue any other targets. Jack’s sickness had created a wrench into their plans; the days stretching by slowly and he began to wonder if deep down Ana was upset about it. 

Not about caring for him--

They were friends, had known each other decades, knew she was being sincere in being his nursemaid. 

But the fact that he was now deadweight, an obstacle in the way of their true goal, of getting her back to her daughter.

He knew she wouldn’t leave him behind, even if he had become a burden. But he wondered if she was a little resentful of it all. It had been drilled into them since the early days of war; ‘no soldier left behind’ and he knew Ana would stay true to that motto. 

Jack couldn’t feel guilty about what this was doing to the two of them. Didn’t regret fucking Gabriel even if he was left in this brutal aftermath. Even if Ana had become collateral damage from their moment of passion. 

Even knowing that this would happen, he would do it again in a heartbeat. 

Selfishly he was glad he had someone. That he had Ana. Even if she didn’t know why he cried, or why he suffered, or why he was really sick--

She was there for him. Tending to him, listening to him, offering him soothing lullabies and gentle touches(when he was worn down enough to allow her grooming petting). 

He wanted Gabriel, but Ana was becoming a suitable substitute to his exhausted mind and weak pain-addled body. 

Besides, somewhere in Jack he was angry at being abandoned. Under the sadness, sickness and depression lurked his old temper. The rage that wanted him to pick up the bottle again, to burn out his liver and just die a drunkard’s death in this shitty hotel in Spain.

Let himself die and his legacy burn. 

Another part of him wanted Ana to stay kind to him, to stay touching him. Wanted her scent on him because in the alley it had drove Gabriel mad. 

That possessive passion he wanted to remember, wanted to provoke, wanted the Reaper to just appear because he smelled his claim wane again. His fantasy was of Gabriel showing up one night, appearing from the shadows and fucking him in this nest while Ana slept in the bed over. For him to claim him again right under her nose and let him stop feeling this cocktail of emotions that would surely kill him.

This felt a lot like death. 

The slowest, most painful, horrific death he could think of. 

When he had been younger he feared war. Thought he’d die from a bullet. Didn’t think he’d live long enough to die from a disease, had never imagined he might die literally from a broken heart. 

Now, the bullet in his side arm was looking good again. 

Especially now, when he was alone, when Ana was out getting supplies. Just had these few minutes to wallow and think of how easy it would be to pull the trigger. 

But his thoughts would always loop back to the hope--

The foolish hope that Gabriel would return. That his mate was alive out there somewhere, and eventually the alpha would forgive him(for whatever wrongs he felt he had done) and would seek him out. Would crawl into his bed and apologize for all this pain and they could go back to living like mates, go back to loving each other. 

That fantasy(and the steady pulse in his bond bite) kept him pushing forward despite how empty and hollow he felt. 

Jack was willing to live in this purgatory with that small glimmer of hope for as long as he needed to. 

At least, he had been, until he felt it. 

All at once the pulse in his bond bite stopped. The sudden loss felt like a wire deep inside of him had been suddenly cut. Like a puppet without strings--

His bond was severed. 

For a split second it felt like time had stood still. Heard a buzzing in his ears and could’ve sworn he had blacked out for a moment. Unable to focus on the world around him, unable to recognize the room he was in, nor even feel the pillow he was clinging to. 

It felt like he was numb all over, just hovering there in a space he shouldn’t exist in. 

Then all at once that feverish pain he had felt for weeks seemed to suddenly burst into a tidal wave of pressure. The quiet of the hotel humming in his ears as his eyes stung with fresh tears. The room around him blurred into a watercolor; just senseless shades of pigment melting in front of him. 

He heaved great sobbing breaths, burying his face suddenly into the pillow he was holding captive as he wrapped his weak body around it and cried his eyes out. 

The room was thick with the smell of his pain and distress; the floodgates opening on the anguish that he had tried to keep so tightly underwraps. 

Now he could hold nothing in; just yelling into the pillow, his cries muffled as he spent his fading energy on crying it all out. 

Ana had opened the door to Jack making the most tortured sounds; his pheromones hitting her like a truck and disorientating her a moment as she tried to recognize if there was a threat in the room. 

Instead all she’d find was Jack balled up in his nest, pathetically crying like a child but he couldn't stop. Didn’t stop even when it was hard to breathe, when his nose clogged up or when he could no longer actually see. 

Didn’t stop even when Ana dropped the grocery bags by the door and rushed over to the bed. 

Didn’t stop even when she had tried speaking to him; her words lost to the pressure in his ears. Could only hear the soothing tone of her voice and felt her fingers running through his hair over and over again--

Couldn’t understand what she was saying, the words making no sense at all.

She was frantic to try and calm him down. Touching him on his face and his clothed throat. Again and again, scent marking him in an attempt at giving him something familiar to latch on to, to get Jack calm enough to speak.

But Jack didn’t calm down; only reached for her(for the first time since his sickness hit, since even before that). Grabbed her down until he crushed her against him, hiding his face in her neck and just crying there still. Smothered her against his body because he needed something, someone--

Just needed something warm and real to cling to. 

His connection with Gabriel was gone. 

Jack wouldn’t know if it was because his bond starved out, or if Gabriel died(again). 

The not knowing was the worst part of it all and he couldn’t say a word about any of it to anyone.


	14. Recall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure most of you have guessed it by now. But combining the chapters up, at this point Jack is about 3mos pregnant give or take?

The bond had starved and broken but the fever didn’t go away. 

Though, it didn’t feel so much like a fever anymore. His body wasn’t burning, and he didn’t feel the need to throw up anymore. But there was something else to this sickness that festered under his skin. 

In the weeks that followed his broken bond he hadn’t been cooperating at all. Only bathed when Ana dragged him from bed and shoved him into the bathroom. The only reason why he didn’t let her bathe him was because he was still trying to hide his mark. 

He still didn’t eat much, still didn’t drink much, and still wouldn’t go out. 

No matter how much the room was aired out it still smelled thick with his pheromones and his constant sour smell of distress and sickness. His muscles ached, his bones hurt, and he didn’t have the energy for anything at all.

He felt like if he stayed in the hotel room, he’d die. 

It felt like a soul deep knowledge, that this was going to be the end. That he’d chosen this place, and his body was finally going to start shutting down on him. That maybe the bond hadn’t been the cause of the fever, and that it was just his old age that was catching up to him.

The super soldier serum finally wearing off and letting nature take its course. 

It didn’t feel like giving up, if he was just losing the battle to nature. 

These were the things he thought about when he didn’t think about Gabriel and where he was(if he was still alive). These were the thoughts that occupied his mind when he woke up in cold sweats and from nightmares. When Ana held him still and tried her best to lure him from his depression and pain. 

Ana was in the room now, cleaning up, packing some of their things. Tidying, mostly. 

She’d existed on the edge of his reality for so long it almost felt like she was a ghost. Just an apparition of the past he clung to when he was desperate now and then, yet mostly stayed beneath his line of focus. 

Sometimes Jack wished she’d give up and leave him. 

But Ana was stubborn, more stubborn than he or Gabriel combined, and she was a good friend and a better alpha. 

He knew she wouldn’t leave. 

The knowledge of that both frustrated and reassured him.

At least he wouldn’t die alone. 

“Jack.” 

It took him much longer than he’d like to admit to recognize that she had been talking to him, that she was now standing in front of his bed and snapping her fingers in his face. He blinked out of his daze, trying to focus on her. 

She frowned when he didn’t give a verbal response, but that wasn’t unusual these days. “Your symptoms aren’t getting better. You look pale.” She started, “You sleep almost all day yet you have bags under your eyes. You aren’t eating or drinking enough.” 

Jack turned his eyes away from her, back to the window, staring at the open morning sky. 

Ana snapped her fingers again with a growl, “Jack!” 

He looked at her again, his expression blank(worrying her more). 

“I’m worried for you Jack.” She said seriously, “I can’t keep taking care of you. It feels like there’s something really wrong here.” 

“There is.” He said finally, his voice hoarse from lack of use, “I feel like I’m dying.” 

Ana was taken aback by how calm he sounded. Couldn’t help it when she finally sat herself down on the bed, just outside of his nesting ring. She reached over to gently brush her fingers across his sweaty forehead. “You still feel warm.” She said, not taking his admission extremely seriously, but worried all the same. 

“I mean it Ana.” He said, his blue eyes lackluster, “I can feel it. There’s something wrong. I shouldn’t be sick this long. I shouldn’t be feeling this wrongness in my entire body.” He said, his throat tightening up and he blinked the sting from his eyes. He didn’t need to cry again, he felt like that was all he did most days(when Ana wasn’t there). “It’s not a pain I can describe.” 

“I think we need to go somewhere,” She began, “Somewhere you can be tested and treated. I’m not a doctor, and I can’t do anything more for you than I already have.” 

“I can’t go to a hospital, you know that.”

“Not a hospital.” She agreed, though didn’t wait for Jack to connect the dots, “You remember that recall?” 

It took a moment for Jack to catch on to what she was saying, “You mean Overwatch? With Winston?” 

They’d both received the transmission when Winston had broadcasted it. That he was rounding up any Overwatch members still alive and active. He and Ana had watched the transmission together and had both ignored it. 

It felt better, at the time, to stay rogue than get everyone involved in what they were doing. They had decided to let the younger generation deal with the world’s problems again if that’s what they wanted to do. 

Mostly, at the time, Jack just couldn’t stand the idea of going back to Overwatch without Gabriel. 

“Yes.” Ana said, breaking Jack’s train of thought, “The base he’s using is nearby. I can take you there and we can see what’s wrong with you, we can see if they can fix you.” 

That would be the only way Jack could get treatment, they both knew that. 

“I’ve made peace with it, Ana.” He said, having weeks to contemplate on it. Having weeks to lay in his self pity and wallow in his depression and pain. He tried to sound convicted when he said, “I don’t think there’s any recovering from this.” 

“Then don’t do this for you, do this for me.” 

His brow furrowed, about to open his mouth to speak when she continued. 

“Don’t make me watch you die here because you wouldn’t go to that base.” She said, her tone harder, more fierce. “You’re going to get out of this damn bed and we’re going to go to that Overwatch base.” 

“Ana--”

“This isn’t a debate Morrison.” 

He looked into her passionate brown eye before he heaved a sigh, “Okay.” 

She looked relieved, as if she had been expecting to lose that fight. Though, Jack wouldn’t have put it past her to dart him and just drag him there(somehow) herself. “Good.” She nodded, “I already started packing.” 

Jack was only agreeing because it wasn’t fair to let her watch him die like the old man he was. She’d devoted too much of her life so far on him, and if she wanted that reassurance that she’d done everything she could for him when he found out he was terminal, than he wanted her to have that peace of mind. 

She deserved that much. 

“Do you think you can get up?” 

“Yeah, give me some time at it.” 

“Okay.” She said, easing herself away from him and walking around the room again, gathering the rest of their supplies. Starting to get their bags packed up, the hotel room becoming less cluttered as the minutes passed by. 

Jack slowly got himself up, swung his legs around the side of the bed and started to work on fastening his braces so he could walk with some ease. Even that much movement caused his chest to feel compressed, his lungs to burn. 

Sitting up, he wasn’t sure if it was the headrush or just the symptoms he had kept feeling off and on, but a migraine had started behind his eyes again and he just huffed in irritation to it all. Dying was definitely a shitty business; but he had through all the stages of grief and he was left with acceptance. 

If this was how it was going to end, this was how it was going to end. 

He got his braces on, packed up his small duffel at the edge of the bed, and he was already dressed to go outside. Though, being in these clothes for days just meant he smelled rank; mostly like sweat and sickness. He didn’t have the energy to change, and he didn’t think Ana was hoping for anymore miracles(since he had already agreed to go to the base). 

When the hotel room was cleaned and completely packed, Ana finalled called over to him again, “I’ll call a taxi to drive us to the ferry.” 

“The ferry?” 

“The base is on the island right off the coast here. It’s a couple hours away.” She paused before she asked, “Will you be able to do that?” 

“We’ll see.” He said, and he wanted it to be a joke, but he honestly wasn’t sure how getting himself up and about and moving from here to there would affect him anymore. “Might want to bring a bag, just in case.” 

“Got it.” She said, grabbing some extra trash bags(they had bought some to line the little trash can by his bed, which he had used frequently when he couldn’t make it to the bathroom to throw up or piss). 

Ana was shouldering most their bags and gear and added the duffel at Jack’s feet over her shoulder. She was so small and looked ridiculous bogged down by so much weight. But she was a soldier, and an alpha, and Jack didn’t doubt her capabilities. 

Even if he felt completely useless standing next to her. 

She held out her hand for him, “Do you need assistance?” 

Jack tested himself a few steps, but so far it wasn’t so bad. Just a little bit of vertigo and that burning sensation against his heart. “I can manage, I think.” 

“Okay.” She said, “Let’s get you some fresh air.” She walked slow in front of Jack so he could follow her out of the room. She held the door for him and was patient when he took his time to walk through it. “Give me a minute to call the taxi, then we just need to check out at the main desk.” 

Jack nodded once, moving so he could lean back against the wall near the door. Ana’s eyes followed him a moment before she ducked back into the room to make her call. 

He was going to the base for her, to give her that sense of accomplishment and hope.

But he already knew this was the end.


	15. Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally make it to Gibraltar. :D

Jack had been flooded with old memories and a crushing wave of nostalgia when they finally made it into the repurposed Overwatch base on Gibraltar. 

The entire time in the cab, on the ferry, it had blurred; he had lost himself to his anxious and depressing thoughts. Tuned Ana and everyone else around him out until he spotted the unassuming base perched on the oceanic rock face. 

From the distance of the ferry docking the building looked unused and dark. Just a grey monument to what used to be. No Overwatch flags flying, no soldiers filing in and out, at this distance it was impossible to see if there were even any lights on. 

The sun was in the process of setting when they had docked and started the long climb up the coast towards the building. 

This wasn’t a tourist destination, and though other parts of the island was used for that purpose(now) this part of it was mostly closed off. Even if it wasn’t currently a military base(not that the UN or anyone else knew of now) it used to be, and that was enough to keep it fenced and locked down. 

Ana assisted in his climb and he felt pathetic leaning on the smaller woman; the walk that much more awkward but she didn’t falter. By the time they made it to the top Jack was huffing like he ran miles and he knew something was definitely wrong with him.

That bone deep ache was still here, and he shouldn’t be fatigued from small tasks. A walk like that shouldn’t have made him breathe heavy let alone sweat. 

Months ago he was keeping up with Ana. Taking down Talon agents and other ruthless ‘bad guys’.

Now he felt completely useless. Like in just a few months his life had drained completely out of him. Jack figured it was this physical and mental illness he was plagued with. That his broken bond at this age coupled with all the other bullshit he was feeling and going through was just too much for his body to take. 

Finally he could understand the ‘dying of a broken heart’ syndrome he had thought in his youth was just a romantic fantasy(albeit a morbid one). 

That’s what this really felt like, that Gabriel had become the death of him. 

When they reached the doors Ana pressed her palm against the scanner near the right door. The light flashes green and the doors opened. Recycled cold air washed over them as they walked through. 

Winston was there to greet them. Looking just as ridiculous as ever(couldn’t help remembering how much Gabriel hated him, how his mate could be so hostile towards the genetically modified animal yet he was neutral towards omnics). Even if Jack never had a problem with the gorilla, still seeing him, talking to him, it was still strange(and he didn’t think it would never not be strange). 

“Commander, Captain.” Winston saluted, his face serious.

Clearly, Ana had called ahead to get things prepped, to inform Winston and everyone else that they were coming and (possibly) what had been happening so far with Jack. 

His suspicions were confirmed when Winston continued as the doors slid shut behind them, “I can lead you down to medbay. Angela has a room prepped. Ana,” He gestured for her, “You can take a left down that hallway. You’ll be in room number twelve, right next to Jack when he’s finished downstairs.” 

It was also strange to realize that Winston was now the commander of this derelict Overwatch. Jack personally didn’t know how to feel about that; any of it really, as Ana gave him one final pat on the arm and took her leave down the hall. 

He didn’t know how many familiar faces he’d run into in the base. Didn’t know if he was really ready to talk to anyone he’d meet. It had been years, and most of his past friendships hadn’t been left on good terms. 

Genji and McCree especially; there had been a lot of hostility towards the end. With all of them, with the fallout of a bad mission and everything else straining between them all. Ana’s death(at the time) had been another cruel blow on top of everything else. 

He shook his head to rid himself of bad memories and continued after the ape, using the railing as they walked downstairs towards the labs. The base was quiet, just the background hum of machinery to greet them, the muted lighting from above and shadows much too long lingering in the corners of the mostly empty rooms they passed. 

“Where is everyone?” Jack couldn’t help but ask, his voice sounded rougher than usual, lack of use making it sound almost foreign to his ears. 

“Out on missions.” He said, “Only have a few that reside here permanently. Most come only as needed.”

“Who lives here now?” 

“Angela,” He began, gesturing for Jack to follow down another hallway, “Jesse, Hanzo and Hana. Lena comes and goes a lot, and Fareeha makes this her home base when she’s not in Egypt.”  
Distantly, Jack figured that might be a problem since Ana wasn’t yet known to Fareeha. 

It seemed Winston read his mind, continuing with a nervous chuckle, “I think Ana might be having that reunion quicker than she’d like. Though, I will try and keep the secret from spreading. I also will be sure to send her out if Fareeha comes. Angela is normally informed when she’s going to touch down.” 

Jack also didn’t know everyone that he mentioned. Hana only from reports, one of the youngest soldiers in Korea with the highest military ranking. Hanzo is Genji’s brother, though he knew of that history he was curious why he had been allowed in the base. Assuming Jesse’s friendship with Genji, it seemed odd to him the two would be in the same building. Jesse always had a sense of justice and he didn’t always follow the rules when he decided what he needed to do to make things right. 

But, Jack also didn’t expect his stay here to be a long one. If he was dying, he figured it would end earlier rather than later. 

He should probably feel something more than apathy at this point, but he didn’t. He’d tried his best, he’d given all he could, and now he was ready to succumb to this heartache if that’s what this was. 

Part of him didn’t want to see Jesse. He’d sort of became his and Gabriel’s unofficial pup back then. Remembered when Gabriel plucked him out of that jail cell, how protective his mate had been of the young rough and tumble seventeen year old. Back when they knew a family would never happen for them biologically; Jesse had been the child they could never have. 

Of course, that bond broke like all the others when Overwatch fell, when they all said and did things they regretted. 

Jack had kept his identity hidden, had faked his death, had roamed the world like a ghost with Ana. He could only imagine how Jesse might feel betrayed from it. That he kept himself, and everything else a secret while he ran around the world. 

He didn’t think it mattered that Jesse left first, because he had good reason for it. 

“Does Jesse know?” 

Winston had hesitated at the door at the end of the hall. His gold eyes didn’t want to land on Jack more than a few seconds; his expression told him everything he needed to know before he spoke. He cleared his throat and said, “I made the decision to tell him. His schedule is the least predictable, and he tends to find things out even if I try and keep it from him.” 

Jack couldn’t help the slight upturn of his lips in a ghost of a smile, “That’s alright.” He said to ease the gorilla’s tension, though he didn’t know what he was going to say or do when he was confronted with the cowboy. Didn’t know how he’d break the news of him dying(for real) this time around. 

But, that was a bridge he’d cross later. For now, he needed to see Angela. 

Winston opened the door with the access code on the left panel; immediately Jack was hit with the smell of sterility. Of antiseptic and something artificially clean. The scents sharp to his overly sensitive nose and quite suddenly he felt the urge to retch. 

“Jack,” Angela greeted with a smile, as if he had never been gone a day. Even though he knew years went by it almost looked like she hadn’t aged much; just as vibrant, wearing a white lab coat and periwinkle scrubs like the last day he’d seen her. “It’s good to see you again.” 

“Same to you.” He grunted and went to take a seat on the exam table. 

“Come see me later Jack, if you have any questions or needs.” Winston said with a nod to both Jack and Angela. His big body lumbered towards the doorway and after just a few seconds he was gone and Jack was left alone with the doctor. 

Angela was fiddling with some equipment on the metal tray table nearby, “Ana already briefed me on your symptoms before referring you over.” She said in a professional tone, her cobalt eyes meeting his briefly before she tugged on blue vinyl gloves. 

“I don’t need any tests run.” He said, now that Winston was gone and Ana was safely out of earshot(on the other side of the base); he figured he could have a real conversation with the other omega. “I know what’s wrong with me, and I’m already resigned to it.” 

Her eyebrows shot up, her face didn’t seem so convinced. “Oh? In all those years you were ‘dead’ did you get a medical degree?” Her tone was meant as a joke, but it was delivered so dead pan it could almost be cutting. 

Jack just narrowed his eyes, tired and not the mood for the usual back and forth. “I’m expressing my right to refuse medical care.” 

That statement got her to frown, her gloved hands spread on either side of the tray table as she leaned towards him, “Jack, what Ana described isn’t something to be taken lightly. She said you’ve been out of commission for months.” 

“Yeah.” He said with a shrug, as if it wasn’t important. 

“Your body isn’t supposed to react that way.” She said, as if he wasn’t aware of that fact, “There could be something seriously wrong with you. You don’t want me to find out what it is and discuss treatment options with you? Technology has come a long way, including healing sciences.” She stressed, as if he wasn’t aware of the world he lived in. 

“I’m not a young man anymore.” He said with a huff. 

Her brows pinched as if unsure of what it statement entirely meant. “No, you’re not. Which is all the more reason for me to do a full exam on you.” 

“This isn’t a discussion.” He said more firmly than before, “I am refusing treatment.” 

Angela stood back to her full height but she didn’t look happy about it, “So what are you going to tell Ana then? You two came all the way here for a consultation and treatment.” She pushed, “Or was there another reason you wanted to come back to Overwatch?” 

“I don’t want to come back to Overwatch.” He said with more bite than he intended, “I came because Ana wanted me to.” 

“Yet you aren’t going to follow her wishes now that you made the journey.” 

“Angela,” Jack said, “Trust me on this. You can’t fix it, I don’t want it to be fixed.” His pale blue eyes looked almost pleadingly at her, “Can you tell her you did the exam, that I’m going to be fine?” 

She snorted, “You want me to lie?” 

Jack shifted uncomfortably on the paper lined table he was sitting on, “What if you did a small exam on me, enough to tell her you did your job and that nothing is wrong?” 

“Jack.” 

“Please.” He pressed, “I know it’s asking for a lot. But, I really need you to do this Angela. Please.” He emphasized again. 

“Jack--” 

“I’m keeping her a secret from Fareeha,” He said, and even as he said it he felt dirty about it. Could see the hardness that overtook her expression as he resorted to pressing on the sensitive topic, “I can keep doing that if you do this for me.” 

She gently nudged her tray table aside and pulled up a stool. Sat herself next to Jack’s bed and calmly said, “Alright Mr. Morrison,” She said as if he were a stranger, just a patient, “I’ll give you a basic exam and physical, that work for you?” 

“Yes, thank you.” He said, and deserved her rebuff. 

There was a lot he just wasn’t ready to confront just yet. Knowing he was dying and truly seeing the charts and graphs; seeing the pity in everyone’s eyes afterward should the facts be known in black and white on medical sheets--

He wasn’t ready for that. 

If this was going to be his final resting place, eventually Angela would find out what was really wrong with him when he was no longer able to refuse her. Eventually all the secrets would be pressed to the surface--

But until that time, he took peace in this; in this small unknown of the known inevitability of death. 

“I’m not doing this for you.” She said stiffly, breaking his thoughts, “I’m doing this for Fareeha.” 

He deserved that too. 

“Thank you.”


	16. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My take on where that iconic picture came from.
> 
> Short-ish chapter. I have company this week and I don't know if I'll hit next Monday's deadline, so here's an extra chapter for you guys. Thanks for reading!

Jack spent the first couple days settling into his new surroundings. He was in the room next to Ana, just a simple space that used to be reserved for new recruits or visiting soldiers. It was actually just a single room with a bed, desk, and an attached bathroom. 

Nothing personal or inviting in the bare white walls or the military grade grey bedding. He had been on the fence about asking Winston for more blankets and pillows. He couldn’t properly nest and being in a new place with new scents the urge to do it felt almost impossible to ignore. Like an itch under his skin he just couldn’t scratch; even though it was just an absurd animal instinct because added blankets and pillows would hardly ‘protect’ him from anything. 

Instead of asking he had decided to explore the base at night, when everyone else would be sleeping. The other members of Overwatch hadn’t returned yet from missions so he only needed to avoid Winston, Ana and Angela. Which was a surprisingly easy thing to do. 

Ana was taking full advantage of no longer being Jack’s primary caretaker and catching up on rest and relaxation. Angela stayed down in the lower part of the base, the labs and the barracks near the labs. Winston stayed upstairs in his old Strike Commander office. 

Which left the base eerily quiet and empty when Jack slipped from his bedroom at sometime after midnight to wander around the base uninhibited. 

His symptoms still came and went overall; sometimes he’d sleep well, other times he wouldn’t. Sometimes he could keep food down but most the time he didn’t. His need to puke, migraines and his hot flashes were the worst of his symptoms now, but still annoying nonetheless. 

Dying was an irritating and disgusting process, it seemed. 

Jack was clad in the pajamas that he found in the closet of his room. A fresh bandage around his neck and his braces on his legs. He was careful not to turn any lights on and navigated by the subdued fairy lights along the walkways and the dulled light coming in from all the big windows that surrounded the left side of the base. 

His intention had been to find a supply closet somewhere or maybe raid the small kitchen mess hall for something he might find edible enough to keep down when he got distracted by the stairs leading up to the big dome that overlooked the ocean. 

It had been a lifetime since he had been on this base, since he had indulged the memories that came with it. 

So, against his better judgement, he climbed the stairs up to the dome and the little command center that was inside of it. The computers that lined the side of the space were dusty from misuse, and the windows up here were grimy from lack of being cleaned. 

But when he got close enough to the glass despite the shine of grit he could see a huge portion of the old base. Could see the sheer rocky cliffs and the dark ocean that roiled and foamed like a living thing. Beyond that was the infinite night sky, as clear as he’d ever seen it, countless stars winking alongside a fat white moon. 

The moonlight enough to illuminate the entire landscape, to bathe it in an ethereal glow. 

It was a beautiful sight. 

Jack wandered further, until he got a clear view of the cliffside and the narrow organic pathway alongside it. Held his palm up to the glass and touched it there against the cool pane and remembered how many times he and Gabriel used to stand there and look at the sea. Talk about the future and everything they’d do after Overwatch. 

Remembered when his mate had been especially giddy with the prospect of retirement they had went out onto that cliffside for a picnic. 

A picnic in the middle of wartime. 

Remembered how Gabriel coaxed him from his office with a ‘surprise’ and wouldn’t let him refuse no matter how busy he claimed he was. Had cut out this tiny moment for them, Gabriel had cooked and packed all of the food. Even had a chilled bottle of wine and spread out a blanket his grandmother had knit him when he was a teenager. 

The stolen human moment was enough to bring tears to Jack’s eyes(at the time) and let him forget about the stress of their day to day lives. Let him forget everything but their future together and how all of this would be worth it someday. That they’d save the world and have a slice of paradise waiting for them at the end of it all. 

Gabriel had promised him everything, had kissed him within an of his life and in their elation and babbling thoughts he had asked Jack to stand against the sunset so he could take a photo. 

It had felt absurd, standing there in his full gear against a sunset prettier than anything he’d ever seen in his life. Couldn’t remember now what Gabriel had said, but whatever it was had made him smile so brightly his cheeks hurt when the alpha had finally snapped the photo. 

Gabriel used that photo as his computer’s desktop background for years after. 

Jack used to find hope in it, when he’d go into his office, when things had turned to shit, and still see the image pinned there on his background. 

Now, the memories only made his heart ache that much more. Brought a sting to his eyes and a tickle to his throat. 

They had been foolish and naive. They didn’t have a future. Not then, not now. 

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and walked away from the windows and back down the stairs. In his singular goal he found the supply closet and gathered up extra blankets, pillows and a small first aid kit. 

With his bounty in his arms he walked back to his room, stepped inside of it and let the door automatically close behind him. He dropped everything on the floor next to his bed and ignored how his body had started to sweat again and how his breathing was difficult. How getting a full breath was hard, especially with all the energy he was exerting(with very little fuel to compensate it). 

He worked on getting his bed properly nested. Using all his energy and focus on the task to try and ignore how the ghost of Gabriel was enough to pinch a nerve. 

Even if nothing in the base smelled the same, even if it was no longer busy with life, even if he didn’t even have the same room--

It seemed his mind could bring him back to all those old moments and just torment him whenever it felt like. That there was no escape from the prison in his mind and the ache that Gabriel brought in him whenever he was awake. Worse because he knew his mate was still out there somewhere probably not thinking about Jack at all, probably wasn’t plagued by any of these old memories, probably didn’t cry at the drop of a hat just thinking about him--

No, Gabriel was fine. 

Just like he had been fine during their original ‘break up’. The alpha was always calm and collected. Like he had been in the alleyway, like he had been when he left Jack there sobbing in his own fluids. 

Jack’s old anger and bitterness was close to the surface; angry tears in his eyes and his skin flushed from all the exertion as he finally completed his nest. 

Couldn’t stop the growl that bubbled in his chest as he wrestled his clothes and braces off before he could finally slip his old tired body in bed. He buried himself under the soft blankets and sheets, hiding under the pillows and letting the cocoon of fabrics incubate him like a babe. 

Didn’t care about how hot it was, how it made him sweat in a different way, how it agitated his very sensitive skin. 

Maybe he’d boil himself to death in his nest.

That would be a fitting end to this hell.


	17. Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot progression~ 
> 
> Slowly moving to the mid point of this story, the POV will be changing soon. ;D

Jack didn’t suffocate himself in his nest. 

Actually, as the next two weeks dragged on he actually gave into his animal urge and instead went to find the old room he and Gabriel used to use when they were stationed in this base. 

Of course the new room was just like the old room(though a little bigger, and more secluded from the other rooms). There was no remains of the past other than his own memories and what he superimposed on the empty space.

Winston allowed him to have whatever he wanted, and soon that space was as furnished as the old one with all the same military grade items that were basically anonymous. 

As much as he tried to convince himself to be mad, to hate Gabriel, he just couldn’t. 

After his angry sobbing and his yelling fits and his tantrums--

The old love was still there. The ache for a real bond, the want to feel his lover again, all the words he wanted to say to his face(should he ever get the chance again). 

Jack Morrison was a weak, weak man. 

His pressing mortality and his isolation only making it worse. At this point his dying wish would be to see Gabriel again, good or bad, and part of him almost wanted to ask someone about Talon, about Reaper in particular. 

But, he didn’t. Still tightly kept what happened to him a secret, as much as he was keeping his incoming ‘death’ a secret from everyone else on base. 

In the weeks that passed one by one the other agents flooded into the base. First it was Hana, and despite her youthful energy, Jack found he got along surprisingly well with her. In the mornings they’d have tea and discuss missions. Hana often made references he didn’t understand, but military talk was still his forte and eventually they found common ground here and there. 

Angela was still giving him the cold shoulder overall(which he deserved after basically blackmailing her into not giving him a full scan); Winston was oddly absent unless you actually sought him out. Ana was still overly concerned, but was careful to come out of her room only when she knew the coast was clear(though Fareeha had yet to come back to base, she was still carefully paranoid about running into her). 

Jack hadn’t seen the mysterious ‘Hanzo Shimada’ but he had finally seen Jesse. 

Only in passing, and it almost seemed like the cowboy was purposely avoiding him. 

Winston had already informed the agents of his and Ana’s stay(and their miraculous resurrection). So, Jack knew it wasn’t a shock, which only meant Jesse had swallowed that information and decided to just spit it right back out. 

He couldn’t blame the pup--

No, couldn’t blame the man(Jesse was more than grown up now) for it and so avoided Jesse in turn out of courtesy. 

Which made the particular moment of Jesse walking into the mess hall on purpose that much more alarming because until now, the cowboy was quick to turn his head and power walk the other direction whenever he accidentally ran into Jack thus far. 

He watched as the young alpha crossed the room in his casual clothing(it looked like he’d dressed down for bed, wearing a faded top with words no longer legible and ratty sweatpants); fiddled with the microwave door, turned on the taps for the sink then let out a big sigh. Looked like he was just trying to occupy himself as he dredged up the words to say. 

Even after all these years Jesse was pretty transparent when it came to certain things. 

Jack remained where he sat at the round table in the middle of the room, facing the sink Jesse was at. His lukewarm mug of hot chocolate between his hands(Jack favored liquids over foods these days), but he was quiet, just waiting for the other man to speak first. 

Finally Jesse turned, facing him head on for the first time and his eyes were tired. He rubbed at his face, scratched at his scruffy beard and huffed again. 

Jack decided to finally speak, “I know this is a lot to take in, you don’t need to force yourself to talk to me--”

“Ain’t forcin’.” He grunted, cutting Jack off, “Want to talk to you. There’s just too much to say and don’t know where ta start. You poppin’ up out of thin air, not to mention Ana comin’ up from the grave with ya, it was a lot to process even if I had ‘warning’ first.” 

“Winston told you what happened.” It wasn’t a question, all the agents were briefed(so Ana said). 

“Yeah, told me some bullshit story.” Jesse snorted, “Ain’t the truth though, I imagine.” 

Jack honestly didn’t know what Winston told everyone, just that he told them something. He couldn’t comment on the truth or lack thereof of what was said. So, he remained quiet and Jesse drew his own conclusions from his silence.

“Lemme tell it to ya straight.” He started, continued only when Jack nodded, “I don’t give a shit what happened or didn’t happen. I left Overwatch when it was a big clusterfuck. I know shit went down in a bad way, after Genji and I jumped ship.” 

Jack looked away, not wanting to indulge all those bad memories. When he had personally approached some of his agents, Genji and McCree included, that something big was happening. Something bad, and that the only way out was to jump. 

He’d been right, and at least some of the men and women involved had been able to get away unscathed before everything he(and Gabriel) had worked for had literally burned to the ground. 

“Saw on the news you and Gabe died.” Jesse said, “Was tore up I hadn’t been there. Just like I was when Ana died years ago. Took a long time for me to get over all that.” 

Jack didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything at all. 

“Now, I joined the recall. Decided to try and make a difference again. I’m out on missions a lot of the time and have my hands full with my newly pregnant mate who insists on jumping into danger at the drop of a hat.” Jesse said, a little exasperated. “I’m sure ya got a lot of shit ta say to clear the air, or ta tell me the truth or what really happened and yada yada.” He trailed off with a vague hand gesture.

Jack drew his eyes back to Jesse, a little taken aback by where this was going, “But?” 

“But,” Jesse started with a ghost of a grin, “I don’t care much for the whys and hows. There’s no point in worrying about all that is there? Or gettin’ mad over it? Like I said, I ain’t got any energy to spare at the moment, and I’d just like ta start anew.” 

“Anew?” 

“Clearly you and Ana ain’t dead.” Jesse said, “I can live with that. Actually happy for it, liked you both a lot.” He said with a wink, “But, I have been curious as to why you look like shit.” 

Jack flushed and grumbled, “Thanks.” 

“Just tellin’ it like it is. You look tore up. Only one who could make you look that shitty was Gabriel.” Jesse looked thoughtful for a moment, “He ain’t gonna pop up outta the ground is he now?” 

“What kind of question is that?” He asked, defensive suddenly, but hoped Jesse didn’t notice the immediate bristling. 

Instead the alpha raised his hands, showing his palms in a placating gesture, “Just sayin’, you two ain’t dead, who else should I expect ta pop up?” 

Maybe it was just meant as a joke but Jack couldn’t hide his wounded expression; because Jesse was right, Gabriel was alive, but it wasn’t his place to say it. So instead he just looked down, face red, trying to focus all his attention on the liquid in his mug he had no interest in drinking. 

“Hey now,” He said a little softer, “Didn’t mean ta poke a nerve. Sorry about that.” 

Well, it had been nearly seven years. Jesse wouldn’t have been aware of it still being a sore spot. For all the cowboy knew, the bond was dead and broken. Long since, since the two of them had a falling out before the explosion. Had been rocky for years and their status as mates seemed to only been in name. 

Jesse had been there for all that, so it only made sense he hadn’t thought that Jack would get emotional over something that was broken a long, long time ago. 

“Not your fault. Just still sensitive.” Jack managed to grunt, to try and clear the air. 

Jesse was quiet a moment before he spoke again, “What I’m tryin’ to say is Jack,” He struggled for the words, “I’d like ta start over. You meant a lot to me,” He corrected, “Mean a lot to me. Since you’re stickin’ around I’d like you to meet Hanzo, get settled in proper, you know?” 

Meet Hanzo, get involved in Jesse’s life again, maybe even become a grandfather to Jesse’s child when it was born. 

Jesse was asking him to be reborn again, to stay here in Overwatch, to give him time he clearly didn’t have. 

Maybe a lifetime ago, maybe before he knew Reaper was Gabriel. Maybe before he knew he was dying, he could have entered Jesse’s life and stayed there. Made something new of himself, and found new reasons to move forward. 

But Jack didn’t have time, or any life left to give. He didn’t have a future and it wasn’t fair to make Jesse suffer through the pain of his loss all over again after he had just met him again. 

It didn’t seem fair to keep more secrets from Jesse. 

The man looked so hopeful, if a little sheepish. Trying his best to extend an olive branch and to bury old feuds. 

But Jack didn’t want Jesse to waste his time, to get so invested only for the omega to leave him all over again. Only to die for real this time. 

“Jesse, about that--” Whatever he had been about to say, about to confess, was cut off by bright red lights overtaking the base along with a blaring siren. 

Immediately he got up, reflex because he understood what those lights meant, what that siren meant. The base was trying to go on lockdown, or there was a high alert triggered for some reason(or both). 

Jesse had immediately gone on the defensive, hand going for a gun he didn’t have and he cursed. “Stay here.” He said to Jack, as if the old soldier needed protecting and moved towards the exit of the mess hall.

Of course Jack didn’t listen, too curious and alarmed not to follow the cowboy from the room(but Jesse seemed to expect it and didn’t cause a fuss as they moved quickly into the hallway). It was just a quick jog towards the main area of the base and it was there that they saw the double doors of the entry point open. 

Jack didn’t expect what he was now seeing. 

Winston ushering Reaper inside the base.

Reaper who had his hands up; in full gear with his white owl-like mask pivoted in Jack’s direction as the two passed by. 

Sound suddenly didn’t register. 

Winston’s mouth had moved as he passed, he was shouting words to someone(him?). Vaguely he was aware of the others on base moving to view the commotion as well. Just blurs of figures, washed out by the red of the lights above them, nothing in focus aside from the black shadow that was Reaper as he was moved down a hallway and out of view by Winston’s guiding hand. 

He felt Jesse’s hand on his shoulder, could feel him shaking him but when he looked up into his face he couldn’t process what was being said and for a wild moment even who he was looking at. 

Reaper was here. 

Why was Reaper here?


	18. Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy the resolution to the cliff hangar. This chapter adds some insight to Reaper's motives from before. 
> 
> Also! It's my birthday~ so if you guys wanna hang out and chat, check me out on twitch.tv/baffledfox -- I'm going to be streaming most the day. See ya! :)

It felt like he had been walking through tar while simultaneously being under water. 

He just followed the chaos like a moth drawn to a flame. Angela, Hana, and Hanzo were ushered from the area though all of them were bright eyed and shouting questions. Winston’s big body worked to mostly hide Reaper as he shoved him from place to place and Jesse was quick at his elbow. 

Even if Jesse looked ridiculous in his pajamas it hardly took away from the drama of the moment as the base was still flooded in red light and the sirens were still blaring overhead(not that Jack could hear them). 

Ana suddenly appeared at his side, talking to him maybe, saying something but she just grabbed his wrist and the two of them hurried further until they made it to the interrogation rooms below the base. 

The light below was dim, some bulbs flickered. Obviously this part of the base hadn’t been in use in a long, long time. Not even upkept, dirty and overrun by debris and dust. 

But the room would work fine enough. The electricity ran through the entire base and the automatic doors as well as the automatic locks worked just fine. 

Ana and Jack went into the room opposite where Gabriel was led. 

In this room Ana flicked on the light and illuminated the space. It smelled musty and unused. Chairs were toppled over, old footprints in the dust, memories filling his head like ghosts. 

Of seeing something similar here, of sitting in one of these chairs, of standing and shouting outrage when people accused Gabriel of heinous things due to the botched mission in Italy. 

Was a lifetime ago, yet here Jack was again, looking through the dirty two way glass as Gabriel was sat in an interrogation chair. A solid wooden desk between him and Jesse, the back of the young alpha to both Jack and Ana. 

Winston had hovered briefly by the door before he excused himself, letting it auto lock and leaving Jesse inside alone. 

Reaper still had his mask on, and no one but Jack knew who he was.

But that would change, wouldn’t it? Surely they wouldn’t let him stay anonymous. 

“This has to be a trick.” He heard Ana murmur next to him, finally the sounds of the room or lack thereof was coming back to him. 

Like his ears had just popped, or maybe that reality had finally set in.

Reaper was really here. 

Not more than fifteen feet from him. So close, that if he wanted to he could march into that room and punch him square in the face. Could feel his bones crack under his knuckles and could taste his blood in his mouth if he so chose. 

He could get revenge for being abandoned, left. 

He could demand his own answers and stomp on Gabriel’s throat with his boot. 

Was barely aware he had bared his teeth until he saw his own reflection in the glass. The curl of his lip and the growl that almost rumbled up from his chest. 

The rage was as bright and clear as the sorrow he felt in equal measure. Mourning his mate and his broken bond, and everything in between. 

Somehow it was even more cruel that Gabriel had decided to show up here. 

“What if Talon is going to be surrounding us right now?” 

“They aren’t the siege type.” Jack found himself responding, his voice wooden, as if someone else were speaking. 

“Right.” Ana spat, “No, they’re the type to place a rat in our ranks and watch us die from the plague it sets.” 

Jack didn’t know if this was a trap, but maybe Ana was right.

It was frustrating not being able to hear what they were talking about. Knowing they were talking because Jesse was gesturing with his hands and hitting the table at times with his fist. Gabriel was stoic as ever, his mask giving nothing away nor the movements of his body(or lack thereof). 

Finally, Jack couldn’t take the quiet anymore. 

“Is there a way to get this speaker system working? I need to hear what they’re saying.” 

“Sure, let me help.” Ana said next to him, working with Jack as they followed cables and wires. Prying open paneling and working together to get things plugged in properly and moved around. 

At least their stint on the run raiding bases came in handy. They were both adept at making broken technology function again and after another ten minutes of tinkering finally the old speakers above their heads crackled to life. 

“--you expect me to believe that?” Jesse’s voice popped in loud and clear mid sentence. 

Jack opted to upturn a toppled chair and get himself sitting. Ana did the same to his right and the two of them watched the duo in the next room quietly. 

“That you just decided suddenly to have a change of heart and waltz in here wavin’ a white flag?” He continued, “You take me for a fool?” 

“It’s the truth.” 

“Bullshit it is.” Jesse looked like he was feeling at his chest, groping at a pocket that wasn’t there. Looking for a smoke, clearly agitated by the entire event and his tells were easy to read even if Jack couldn’t see his face. 

Though Jack couldn’t be sure if Jesse was nervous; might be, since he was just in his pajamas with no weapon and nothing to defend himself against the assassin that had been killing Overwatch agents so far. 

Jack didn’t think Reaper would attack Jesse.

But then again, what did Jack even know about him anymore? 

“So you gonna start confessin’ more than just tellin’ me you’re here because you want to be?” He snorted, “Gonna start with who the fuck you are and why exactly you wanted to be captured?” 

“I came for Jack.” 

Jesse’s snarl was heard loud and clear; nearly causing the speakers to static with the sound of it. The sound was aggressive and territorial all at once; and in another context Jack might’ve felt touched by the gesture. That Jesse still felt that deep familial bond with him, even if they had a touch-and-go reunion, “You ain’t ever gonna see Jack or anywhere but the inside of a cell. So talk yer peace so I can stop looking at that stupid mask.” 

Reaper seemed completely unbothered by Jesse’s display, his mask only slightly tilted in some sort of inquiry before he continued in that tinny modulated voice, “Talon is gone. I dismantled it and killed the key players.” 

“No why’d you do a thing like that?” Jesse said, his tone disbelieving, almost mocking. 

“It was always the plan.” He said evenly, leaning back in his seat as if he was in control. His hands on the desk, the sharp talons at the end catching the light of the interrogation room. 

“The plan.” Jesse parrotted. 

“Yes.” He continued, just as cryptically as before, “It was a long waiting game and I expected to have more time before I needed to strike. But, when I realized Jack was still alive, I understood I couldn’t just wait things out anymore.” He said, “It was a risk, but it paid off. Now Talon gone, there’s nothing left to threaten Overwatch or everyone in it.” 

“You destroyed Talon from the inside.” It wasn’t a question, “For the good of Overwatch? That’s bullshit since you killed some of our agents. Or was that part of the plan too?” 

“C’mon pup, you’re smarter than this.” The tone used was almost exasperated, as if this was a conversation he didn’t care about having. 

Jesse reacted just as fiercely as before, “I’m not a pup, and don’t insult me by actin’ like yer familiar with me. I don’t know you. Don’t want to.” 

“It was part of the plan.” He said smoothly, ignoring Jesse’s outburst, “Everyone I killed from Overwatch was corrupt or part of Talon. Moles, that your new organization hadn’t been able to sniff out.” 

“So all this time the Reaper has been working for us?” He said, tone not believing, “Why? For Jack?” 

“No.” He admitted, his tone more reserved, “Jack was dead.” 

“Then why?” 

“For peace.” He murmured, “For solace from this hell, penance for what I’ve done before.” 

“You ain’t makin’ sense.” Jesse grumbled, “How’d you know Jack was alive anyway?” 

“Wasn’t sure at first. Then I was. Couldn’t let them use him against me.” 

“Against you?” 

Reaper sighed, the sound almost like a death rattle with the mask modulating it. Slowly Reaper lifted a gloved hand and reached for his mask, gently prodding at the fastenings at the top and the sides until slowly he drew it away from his face. 

This was the moment where Jack held his breath, where he could’ve sworn time stood still. 

The mask was taken off, placed on the desk but Jack only had eyes for Reaper’s revealed face. 

It was Gabriel(as if he had any doubt). 

White and grey peppered in his brown curls and goatee. His skin had an unnatural grey lowlight to it and the scars on his face(old, and new) were brighter because of the dark flesh, almost pink in the lowlight as if they were fresh. 

His eyes caught Jack by surprise though, they were no longer a warm brown. What burned in their place was a hellfire red, just as intense as he gazed at Jesse across the room. Then, as if he knew, his eyes lifted above Jesse’s left shoulder and stared right at Jack through the two way glass. 

It was enough to cause his breath to stutter in his lungs and tears to sting his eyes. 

He didn’t hear Jesse’s disbelieving words, nor the ensuing conversation that followed. Jesse’s ton moving from disbelief, to anger, to grudging acceptance. 

After all, he and Ana had stepped out of the grave, why not Gabriel? 

But where Jesse took the reveal in stride(as much as he could), Ana was quick to stand and grab at his shoulder. 

She whipped him around to face her, breaking his visual contact with Gabriel beyond the glass. Tears fell down his cheeks and he sniffed loudly, feeling like he was about to lose it(maybe he already had). Whatever she saw on his face was enough, “You knew.” 

He swallowed thickly and nodded. 

“You knew.” She said again, a little breathlessly. “How long Jack? How long?” 

“Months.” He choked, trying to shake her off, trying to look down. 

She didn’t let him, grabbed his chin firmly, forced him to look into her accusing eye. “Months. Before you got sick?” 

Jack didn’t answer. 

“Jack.” She said, “Is he why you’re sick Jack? What did he do? Tell me!” 

He shook his head, gasping out a sob. 

Ana didn’t believe him, pressed him harder, “Tell me Jack!” 

Jack just shook his head again, letting the tears come and feeling extremely small and weak under Ana’s anger. 

She had a right to be mad. He’d been lying to her for months. He had kept Gabriel’s resurrection to himself. Had kept it all to himself and put her in danger(essentially). Now, he had lured Gabriel to him(in some way) and supposedly Talon was no longer an issue(if they could trust his words). 

She didn’t care for his silence or his sobbing; instead she felt down his face, under the collar of his shirt until her fingertips touched the roughness of the gauze around his neck. 

“No!” He tried to jerk away but Ana didn’t let him. 

 

She nearly choked him with her grabbing hands, yanking at the bandage and the collar of his shirt until she could see for herself. 

She’d see the bond mark Gabriel left. Indents of teeth that had long since scarred. That were long since dead. Could tell the bond was broken just by looking at the faded ugly mark and the pity in her eye was almost too much to bear. 

“Jack,” She said softly, shaking her head, “What did he do to you?”


	19. Separation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late chapter, and it's short. Lol. 
> 
> I'm sorry guys. This is just movement for the plot. Another chapter might pop up this week to make up for the length of this one. Hope you enjoy regardless!

Jack told Ana everything. 

It felt like he was finally confessing all his sins and for a while she had just been quiet. She had led him back to his room while the interrogation continued and assisted in getting him more comfortable and helping to calm him down. 

He didn’t know how she felt about everything, but the hard expression on her face spoke volumes even if she hadn’t given him any words. “Ana, say something.” He finally said, having been sat on the edge of his nest. 

She didn’t look directly at him for a long while, and he felt exposed without the bandages on his throat. “What do you want me to say Jack?” She said, her tone tired, as if the entire world was just too exhausting at the moment. 

“I don’t know. Something.” He pressed, feeling like a child under the scorn of his mother. 

“I don’t even know where to start.” She said, “But, what happened has happened. There’s no changing it. Your bond is broken, you survived it, though it seems only just.” She reprimanded, finally turning her gaze on him. 

He kept eye contact as he clenched his jaw, words stuck in his throat but what excuse could he offer? She already knew how much he loved Gabriel. Even back from the grave, even as Reaper, he couldn’t help it. Drawn to him like a moth to a flame, despite any consequences, despite his true motives. He was hopeless. 

“Do you think he meant what he said in there?” Jack finally asked, trying to push the subject off his frail health and what might’ve caused it. 

Ana flared her nostrils and offered a long sigh. After a moment she shook her head, “No, I don’t.” 

“Why?” 

“We don’t even know what Gabriel is anymore Jack.” She said, but her tone didn’t raise, nor did it hold any more steel than before. Still tired, “We don’t know if Talon is really gone. We don’t know if anything he says is true. We don’t know his true motives as to why he’d bond you and leave you.” 

“Maybe it’s not that complicated.” Jack offered in a mumble, trying to be hopeful. 

“Not that complicated,” She clucked her tongue, “What do you think than? He did all this because what?” 

“We were mates once.” 

“Yes, once.” Ana said, a little sharper this time, “But it wasn’t stable even back then was it?” 

Jack didn’t care where Ana got her information. Especially since most of their grievances and their drift happened after she had ‘died’. He couldn’t explain the fracture back then, but he just didn’t want to believe that Gabriel was using him. 

That this was all fake, that he was really just a monster and his plot was to kill everyone on base. 

To actually kill him. 

“He said things to me before.” Jack tried to defend. 

“When he wanted to fuck you.” Ana scoffed. 

“He’s not like that.” Jack said with more heat, his blue eyes narrowed, “He was never that type of alpha Ana.” 

“People change Jack.” She said, “You should know that more than anyone. Your relationship went through seasons and now you’re trying to defend whatever he’s become.” 

His knuckles turned white from gripping the side of the bed, turning his face away and offering a stiff growl. Not directed completely at Ana; maybe just at himself, or the fact that maybe she was right. 

Did he really know Gabriel anymore? Did he really know his motives? Could he really believe anything that he said? 

Suddenly Ana was just there in front of him, her hands cupping his face and bringing his attention back to her. She gently brushed her thumbs under his red rimmed eyes, touching through the old tear tracks. “Don’t do this to yourself Jack. You need to rest and recover. Let Jesse and everyone else figure out what Gabriel really wants.”

“You want me to stay in here?” 

“I’m telling you to stay in here.” Ana said a little more firmly, “You don’t need this added stress. It’s safer here, and until we know for sure what Gabriel really wants, I don’t want you doing anything stupid.” 

Jack frowned, “Why do you think I’ll do something stupid?” 

She laughed then, something genuine and soft. “Because I’ve known you half your life, Jack. I know how much of a fool you can be. In a warzone, and in love.”   
His face flushed red but he couldn’t deny it. He’d fallen in love with Gabriel the first time he saw him. There was no denying that even when their relationship got rough that he had ever fallen out of love with the alpha. 

His alpha. 

The realization, the memories, it all felt too painful suddenly. 

He clenched his jaw and tried to swallow around the cotton ball in his throat. He didn’t have anymore tears to give, but he suddenly felt like he should be crying again. 

Life was just being too cruel. 

With his health ailing, his possible death looming, it decided to play one more joke.

Giving him his lost alpha, only planting him inside the base and where he couldn’t touch nor speak to him. Couldn’t demand answers, couldn’t reconcile whatever this fracture was between them. 

“It’s okay Jack.” She said soothingly, offering a soft animal noise to try and ease him. 

Jack turned his head away, breaking the grip of her hands so he could just breathe. So he could try and collect himself, collect his thoughts. 

“I’ll send Hana by with some food later.” She said, “I’m sure she’ll be happy to keep you company in here.” 

What Ana meant was, she was going to keep finding people to ‘keep him company’ and keep him away from Gabriel. 

Jack couldn’t find the energy to combat her tactics. Instead he just bowed his head and said, “Okay. Thank you Ana.” 

“You’re welcome Jack.” She said, offering a pat to his thigh before she turned and left the room.


	20. Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving forward the chapters will be in Gabriel's 3rd POV. More things will be explained and come to light, so stay tuned~ 
> 
> I think we've reached the halfway point(more or less) now. Thanks for the continued support, guys!

It was torture being in his room for nearly two weeks when he knew Gabriel was on base, when he knew Gabriel was in a cell and tangible. 

Worse when no one really gave him too many updates. Mostly conversed in the hall, started their own set of rumors and theories. Was trying to ‘protect’ him from everything bad that might happen if they didn’t. If they let Gabriel get to him, fearing manipulation at the least, and death at the worst. 

But, he knew Gabriel wouldn’t kill him.

They’ve established that already, in that alley way. When it felt like the truth, when Jack felt so raw and open and willing for his alpha. That couldn’t be a lie, could it? 

He wouldn’t just walk into that cell and Gabriel would eat him, would he? 

His thoughts passed by in a syrupy haze, filling the silence in his head and canceling out all the voices around him. Going through the motions when he was given food, when Hana came with tea, when Jesse tried to speak to him about Gabriel’s possible motives. 

It had been two long weeks and he wasn’t willing to stay in his room anymore. 

So this night, when Jesse took the shift to ‘watch him’ and keep him safe, he waited. He huddled down in his nest and watched as the cowboy started to drift in his chair. He knew Jesse had been under a lot of pressure, and had been stretching himself too thin even before this. Not to mention he had his own mate to look after; he was sure he was only becoming another burden and strain on the man. 

But, tonight Jack didn’t feel guilty about it. Was glad for it, because it finally gave him this opportunity. 

After Jesse’s fifth yawn he finally mumbled to himself and tucked his chin to his chest. He started to snore softly. It was nearly two in the morning, and he’d played the waiting game as long as he could manage, but he finally had this opportunity. 

So, as the alpha slept loudly he eased himself out of bed. Unable to get his braces(would be much too loud), clad only in his ratty Overwatch issue pajamas that were a size too small, he walked on bare feet towards the other end of his small room. 

He braced himself as carefully and as silently as he could on whatever furniture he could reach. Keeping his ears open for Jesse’s change in breathing, but it never happened. The cowboy slept as he wedged himself out of the room and into the hall. 

He hoped that the nest being as lumpy as it was would fool Jesse into thinking he was still there. At least long enough for him to get to Gabriel, to have some words with him, at least give him a few precious minutes of alone time. 

His heart hammered against his ribs and pounded in his ears as he continued to use the wall for support. He listened to every sound, overly paranoid someone might spot him, that they’d force him back the way he came and foil his plans. 

But his fears were unfounded, and soon enough he found himself down at the cells. The space quiet, dark, almost eerily so. 

His footsteps echoed, but there was no one else there. Soon, he made it to Gabriel’s cell door. The metal walls didn’t give him a hint of what the wraith looked like, or if he was even still in there--

Maybe they’d moved him somewhere else.

Jack took a deep breath and entered his code on the keypad. Even if Winston had thought things were locked down; he still knew all the original and override codes to Athena. The light flashes green on the pad and the door’s locking mechanism opened. 

This was it, this was his moment to be alone with Gabriel to demand answers.

He set an open palm on the cold metal door and tried to reel in his nerves. With his last burst of courage he pushed the door gently to the left and let it slide open slowly. 

“Jesse--” Reaper’s voice was a snarl, and at first Jack didn’t see anything; the room was empty, the space was cold and the air smelled of ozone. 

Then, just as the door slid shut behind him, Reaper solidified in front of him. 

Just a mass of shadow at first before it started to resemble a person than all at once it was just the figure of Reaper. Mask and all, imposing and solid just as he had always been. Making Jack feel inadequate, especially just in his thin pajamas. 

He didn’t have a weapon, he felt like a lamb under the gaze of a lion. 

“Jack.” Reaper’s tinny voice softened, as if he hadn’t expected the blond to walk through that door. 

Jack clenched his jaw and leaned back into the closed door; feeling that telltale tightness in his throat and the sting to his eyes. All those emotions that had been choking him all these months finally rushed right back to the surface. 

“Jack.” The alpha said again, raising a hand as if he was about to touch him, the light from the naked bulb above glinted off his silver talons. 

Jack jerked his head away before the wraith could touch him, grinding his teeth a moment before he spoke, “I just need to know.” He started, his tone as hard as he could make it, “I just need to know why Gabriel.” 

Reaper reached up to unclip his mask, revealing his face to the omega, letting the heavy metal thing fall to the floor as if it was important. “Why what?” He asked patiently, his tone still soft, almost coaxing. 

It felt so familiar, almost too familiar. 

But Jack was afraid of being burned again, couldn’t just trust, couldn’t just fall into Gabriel’s arms as much as he wanted to. As much as his entire being ached with the want to scent his alpha and be marked in return; to be held and cradled, to just openly cry out everything he was feeling inside. 

Jack was stubborn, he was strong, and he was trying his best not to sob like a baby in front of Gabriel. 

Everything hurt, just as badly as it did months and months ago. 

“Why you did what you did,” He said stiffly, “Why you fucked me and bonded me and left me.” His voice carried now, louder this time, “Why you’re here. Why you ignored me for months. Why..” Jack whined soft, couldn’t help the pained noise in his throat as he tried to gasp around the burn in his lungs, “Why did you do this to me?” 

“Jack.” Gabriel said, walking forward just a little more; Jack could barely see him now through the blur of his own tears. Fat drops falling down his cheeks and darkening the collar of his shirt with wetness. 

Jack didn’t reach for him, didn’t open himself to him, just remained stiff against the door as if at any moment he could just escape. 

Gabriel didn’t touch him, didn’t embrace him, didn’t even crowd into his space. Just before he did anything, before he even got close enough, he fell heavily to his knees in front of the omega. 

The action startled and confused Jack for a moment, strange to be looking down at his mate, to see Gabriel in a sort of submissive position. Much different than the angry spectre he had fought, and especially different than the confident rutting man from the alley. 

“You know why I’m here. I know you were watching me through the two way glass.” He said, tilting his head up to him, his clawed hands splayed on his own thighs. 

“So that’s all true?” 

“Talon is gone, Jack.” Gabriel said, “I had to bide my time before I could strike. It was going to be a longer operation but you changed things. Sombra told me--”

“Sombra?” Jack’s brows furrowed, “Ana was following a Sombra, back before we came here.” 

“I know.” He admitted, frowning a little, “I had her follow you. I needed her to keep tabs on you. I needed to know you were safe.” 

Jack sniffled, tried to wipe his eyes, tried to stop the annoying tears from coming. But it wouldn’t stop, and it was still hard to breathe. Difficult to not feel that pull to Gabriel; he wanted to believe, he wanted to accept everything the other man was telling him .

But, a part of him just couldn’t give in, couldn’t trust. 

“She was spying on me?” 

“Just while I adjusted our plan. She told me,” He let out a breath, his red eyes softer than before, “She told me you were sick, Jack. That you were weak. You stayed in bed, or the hotel, you didn’t leave at all.” Gabriel looked at Jack a long moment before he continued, “I felt I needed to accomplish things quicker. I had to take down Talon sooner than planned. It was a risk, but she told me there was something wrong with you.” 

Jack looked away, feeling overly exposed. He didn’t even know who Sombra was, aside from the blurry photographs he’d seen in papers. Only knew the intel Ana had given him, and it hadn’t been much. Apparently she was so good they’d never even noticed her, and she had been close enough to relay to Gabriel his condition. 

“Why did you bond me?” 

“I,” He faltered, and Jack could see him out of the corner of his eye trying to get his attention with the tilt of his head. But, Jack didn’t look directly at him, kept staring at a point on the wall nearest him, “I didn’t mean to.” 

That was enough to get him to turn to look at his mate, his blue eyes blazing with that old tired anger. Knowing he looked ridiculous with his red face and teary eyes, but he fought the tremble to his lips as he said, “You didn’t mean to?” 

“Jack,” He said, offering a soft soothing sound to try and soften the anger he saw on his mate’s face, “I know what it would do to you. I didn’t mean to bond you.” He repeated, “But, I had all those fears in my head. What Talon would do if they found you, if they used you against me, if they killed you. I was so afraid of losing you, and I was stupid and in rut.” He tried to make excuses, but it felt sincere, emotion clear in his voice and on his face, “You just smelled so good, and I wanted you to be safe and mine again.” 

“Do you know what that felt like--”

“I know,” He cut in quickly with a whine, “I know baby. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He tried to reach for him then, just offering his open palms, close to touching Jack’s hips but he didn’t. Hovered just out of his range, waited for permission. 

Jack kept standing stiffly, trying to use the last of his willpower to resist, “Gabriel.” He shook his head, losing what he wanted to say. 

It was enough for the alpha to falter, to wet his lips and try to divert the subject, “Please Jack.” He started, “Please just tell me, do you know if you’re terminal?” 

He was quiet a long moment, unsure what to say, how to ease into it. It hurt to see Gabriel’s pleading eyes and to keep denying him(denying themselves). He couldn’t find words as he swallowed around the lump in his throat, instead he just offered a single nod. 

“No.” Gabriel rebuffed, but it wasn’t anger in his tone, it was a sort of disbelief. That he had asked, but he hadn’t expected the answer. 

Just like Jack had hoped life might’ve been kinder to them, but life was cruel. 

“No.” Gabriel said again, just as soft, just as lost, “You’re sure? How long Jack?” He whined soft, the sound so fractured and strange coming from his strong alpha’s throat, “Please tell me how long.” 

“I don’t know.” He admitted with a pathetic hiccup, “I thought it was the broken bond. I thought it would pass. The pain and the sickness. But it didn’t, it hasn’t gone away and it’s only getting worse.” 

“Let me hold you Jackie,” Gabriel begged, “Please, let me scent you and touch you.” 

Jack’s resolve was breaking, knowing he smells of sickness, of pain, of distress. Knew his own pheromones in the air were sour. Knew that if he let the alpha touch him he’d be able to count his ribs under his fingers, would be able to feel how waxy his skin was, would be able to feel just how close to death he was. 

Which would be more cruel? Denying Gabriel’s request, or letting his alpha feel his mortality? 

Eventually Jack sunk himself down to the floor, giving the alpha silent permission. It only took a moment before Gabriel was in his space, wrapped around him, cradling him into his lap. 

Jack hadn’t realized how much he needed, how much he had wanted this, until Gabriel was holding him. Until he couldn’t stop crying against his neck as he finally let himself just give into what he craved. 

He could feel Gabriel petting down his back, could feel the heavy breaths huffing through his hair, over his temple and down the side of his neck. Just scenting and touching everywhere he could; feeling the weakness of Jack’s body. 

“Gabe.” He whined into the alpha’s neck, unwilling to part from him now that he was there, not that he was being smothered. Now that he felt safe and comfortable and alive for the first time in what felt like years(if he was being honest). 

“Shh,” Gabriel murmured into his hair, “I got you baby, I got you.” He kissed the side of his face, offering a rumbly sound in his chest that vibrated into Jack, “I won’t leave you again.” 

Jack wanted to believe him. 

Wanted to believe Gabriel did everything for him. That he took down Talon, that he surrendered on base, that everything up until this moment had been for Jack. 

But was it really true? Was any of this real? Was he just a fool?

“I missed you so much Gabriel.” He whimpered, “So fucking much.” 

Time passed slow after that; an eternity in a span of a few minutes. Of touching, scenting, purring and growling. Just acclimating to each other again, of finally letting each other have this moment of content and happiness. 

But, as Jack knew too well, life was a cruel, cruel beast.

Soon, he started to feel light headed; different from being drunk on pheromones. He started to feel that weird pain in his chest, and couldn’t blink the black spots out of his vision no matter how hard he tried. 

After a moment the sound went out of the room; couldn’t hear Gabriel speaking, but he could see him there. Hovering in his line of sight, to look of sheer panic and fear on his face something Jack hadn’t seen in a long time. 

He felt weightless, dazed, didn’t know down from up. Didn’t know if he was being laid down or was still being held in Gabriel’s lap. 

He didn’t know the words trying to come out of his mouth, and he was too weak to even raise his hands to touch Gabriel’s face, to try and reassure him, to try and soothe the panic he saw there. 

This was the end, wasn’t it? 

This was how he died. 

It wasn’t a bad way to go. Held by Gabriel in his final minutes, surrounded by him essentially as the wraith started to melt into a thick comforting fog all around him. Darkness that might’ve been Gabriel, or maybe he had just closed his eyes.


	21. Beating Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have to double check exactly how far along Jack would be, but, here it is! The big reveal. Hope you guys enjoy(and sorry it's late).

Gabriel didn’t know what was happening. 

He just knew that no matter how much he yelled Jack’s name, and no matter how much he tried to wake the unconscious omega in his arms nothing happened. 

Jack was still, limp like a ragdoll and unresponsive. 

It made him start to panic; was he too late? Was this the only reunion they’d have? 

It suddenly felt like the entire room was pressing in on him. Like there was a pressure against his body and he needed to escape it. His nano machines picking up on his panic and distress; trying to understand the root cause of it. His body reacting as if he was being smothered; breaking down into smoke, enveloping the space, the only physical part of him left still holding the omega to his chest, in his lap. 

Didn’t realize the sounds he was making at this point; there was a ringing in his ears. 

His unholy braying carrying throughout the entire base; his mourning call as he buried his face into the crook of Jack’s neck and breathed in his sickly scent. Could feel the warmth of Jack’s skin against his face, could feel his weak pulse against his cheek. 

Gabriel was babbling; wishing he had been there earlier, wishing he had the ability to visit Jack when he had first started to get sick. Worried he was too late, and praying to Gods he didn’t believe in to just save his mate.

Then, like an answer to his prayers Jesse appeared(and he hadn’t even heard the door open). 

Jesse was pointing a gun at him and baring his teeth, “What the fuck did you do to him?” 

He had to shake the buzzing from his head to even comprehend Jesse’s words; hardly focused enough to even understand what was going on around him. Lost, to his emotions, nearly feral when he bared his teeth right back at the younger alpha, “He collapsed. He just, he just fell over.” He was still curled protectively around the omega, half his body not even solid anymore; and maybe it was the intensity of his display--

Maybe it was just the way he was looking up at Jesse, the fear in his eyes enough to sway him. 

Whatever it was, it was enough for Jesse to put his revolver away, “We gotta get him to Angie. Can you lift him?” He asked with a gestured hand, clearly unsure of Gabriel’s smoky body. 

But in this state both of them were well aware Gabriel wouldn’t let someone get a hand on Jack. 

The alpha pheromones in the air were enough to ward him off, and Jesse wasn’t going to push his luck. It was also enough to show how genuine Gabriel’s emotions were; and maybe that was enough to get Jesse to be fine with the fact he was going to have to leave the cell he had currently been living in the past few weeks. 

“Yes.” He said, his body snapping back together just enough so he could get to his feet, cradling the limp omega in his arms. Gabriel cradled Jack’s head to his chest, kept his nose buried in his white hair as he looked at Jesse’s back as the other alpha led the way through the base. 

When they got above ground he noticed the rest of the base was awake. 

Everyone present, though most still dressed in pajamas; looking blurry eyed and bed mussed. Awoken by the commotion, and obviously still unsure of the ‘stranger’ in their ranks. But, none of them bothered him or Jesse as they traveled across base, down stairs and through more hallways until they hit the medical wing. 

It felt like forever; like he was carrying a corpse, like he was too late. 

But they finally made it to Angela’s lab, the blonde woman gesturing for him to put Jack on the bed and to step back. 

It was a hard thing to do, to just let Jack go. He looked even more fragile against the white sheets; his skin washed out. Somehow looking smaller now that he could really notice how big the pajamas were on his bony body.

Angela hovered nearby; getting her medical instruments and quickly taking his pulse before she wrote down more information on her clipboard. 

Gabriel didn’t listen to the muted conversation between Jesse and Angela, just watching Jack with his intense expression. 

Slowly, he approached the opposite side of the bed. Angela glanced at him, then to Jesse, before she seemed to allow it. Gabriel picked up Jack’s hand in his and gently stroked over the bones with his thumbs. Holding his hand and remembering all the times he’d done this before. 

When Jack got shot, when he was a little too reckless in combat, during the SEP when he picked a fight he couldn’t win. 

But this was different. 

Jack wasn’t grinning at him with a mouthful of blood, wasn’t awake to reassure him that everything would be okay. 

He’d never looked so defeated before; so small and vulnerable. 

It hurt that Gabriel couldn’t save Jack from whatever this was, from whatever had taken him away. He could only hope that Angela could find a cure, could save him before it was all too late--

But, what had Jack said? It was terminal? So Angela had to already know. 

“Jack said it was terminal.” He said out loud, almost in a trance, just holding Jack’s hand, watching his chest slowly rise and fall with each rattling breath. “What does he have?” 

“Terminal?” Angela asked, in the middle of drawing blood; her brows furrowing a moment as she frowned up at the wraith. “Jack refused a body scan, and he refused even a more thorough physical. He told you he was terminal?” 

Finally Gabriel brought his red eyes to Angela and could see the confusion on her face, “He said he was.” 

“Where did he get that information?” 

“He didn’t tell me.” 

“For God’s sake.” Angela cursed, “This is getting ridiculous.” She may have been bound before, but now she wasn’t. Jack couldn’t speak for himself, and clearly his life might be in danger. So after taking the vial of blood and cleaning the injection site she rushed from the room to go to the next curtained off space. 

Gabriel glanced to Jesse who just shrugged, sitting in the stool near the bedside and waiting just as the Reaper was. 

It took a few more minutes before Angela returned, she had a holo scanner in hand and a few more items. Mostly a bag of fluids, an IV, and other things she was almost positive she needed. 

Jesse was quick to respond, jumping to his feet to help her get things into position. She applied the fluid drip before she decided on the holo scan. 

“I can tell you he’s malnourished just by looking at him. Ana said he went on a binge a couple months ago, and I know he hasn’t eaten and drank much on base. You should know what that would do just by itself to his body.” 

Gabriel did know; they were enhanced super soldiers. Their metabolism was off the charts. They had to consume almost three times what a normal person did just to break even on the energy they needed to continue their bodies’ optimal functioning(at least, that’s how it was back when Gabriel had to eat, now his body was even more different with the nano machines). 

It was clear Jack had skipped more than a few meals. His body had lost a lot of bulk, it looked like his metabolism had long since attacked his muscles for energy. He looked gaunt, like a waif in the bed. 

But Gabriel had thought he’d have time to move from one battle to the next. Would have time to coddle and smother his omega once Jack forgave him. Would be able to force feed him if he had to and get his omega back to physical perfection. 

But then Jack had told him he had a terminal illness--

Which, Angela might be saying wasn’t true. He could only hope; watching as she started the scan. 

“Ana did inform me of his other symptoms. Fever, throwing up, fatigue,” She calmly listed off, “But she also equated that to the withdrawal from the alcohol. Which was a good assumption at the time.” 

“At the time?” 

“Mm,” She continued, “But clearly, the sickness never went away. He couldn’t keep down anything solid, and even drinks were giving him trouble. Hana was giving him tea in the mornings, but she was also telling me his true fluid and solid intake.” Angela had to be sneaky about getting information on Jack. The man was too stubborn and private for his own good and it had definitely hampered her ability to assist him. 

“You don’t know what this could be?” 

“Well, once you showed up our priorities sort of changed.” She commented, a bit of humor in her tone despite the seriousness of the situation they were all in, “But, I can assure you he’s not dying.” 

“Good.” He breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I am also glad we can trust you.” Her blue eyes flicked back up to him, just as intense as before. “We can trust you?” 

“You can’t fake that emotion Angie.” Jesse murmured, “I’ll vouch for him.” 

He didn’t comment, looking back at Jack, resisting the urge to reach up and run his fingers through the omega’s hair. This relief he felt was definitely like a warm balm to the cold fear he felt in the cells below base. Glad his mate wasn’t dying, even if they didn’t know entirely what was wrong with him yet. 

The holo pad ‘beeped’ after it had finished the full body scan. The small device hidden between Angela’s delicate hands, the information on screen much too small for Gabriel to have any chance of reading at this distance. 

“Well, that’s unexpected.” She said before she could mask her own surprise. She sat back heavily in the rolling chair, her eyes scanning everything on the screen again and again. 

“What is it?” He asked, holding Jack’s hand a little harder, worried by her surprise. 

“Well, he’s definitely not dying.” She said, unable to hide an exasperated laugh, looking over at the wraith, “He’s pregnant.” 

“Pregnant?” Jesse was the first to exclaim while Gabriel stood in stunned silence, “But I thought--” 

“Well, yes.” She said, tapping a finger along the edge of the holo screen, “Being test subjects during the SEP made both Jack and Gabriel sterile. I’m well versed in their medical history McCree.” 

“Then how is this possible?” 

Angela frowned a moment, seeming to struggle with the answer, “I can only assume perhaps whatever Gabriel has been subject to after he ‘died’ recreated his body chemistry. So, perhaps it made him verile again. Is that an accurate assumption?” 

Gabriel nodded once, “I did start having ruts again, for the first time since I was a kid after they made me whatever I am now.” 

She glanced to Jack, “As for Jack, I’m a little more unsure as to why he is no longer sterile. But, it probably has something to do with what happened after the explosion. Perhaps he got injured in such a way his body healed or regrew a piece of himself. Maybe just ovaries were damaged and repaired.” She continued, “We’ll never know why with Jack unfortunately, his body is already healed and there’s no way for me to tell what happened or why it happened at this point--”

“But you’re sure of it,” Gabriel said in a daze, “You’re sure he’s really pregnant?” 

She nodded once, “Yes, I am certain.” 

“How long?” 

“Now that’s a tricky one.” She said, “The baby has also been sapping Jack’s energy, and clearly he hasn’t been producing enough of what his body needs on a base level. So, it’s hard to tell. Maybe a couple months at the most? He isn’t really showing either.” She got up again but Gabriel’s voice stopped her before she rushed off again. 

“Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to get my ultrasound machine. I should check how big the baby is, how healthy it is. The holo pad just gave me vitals, the second heartbeat. I can guess based on that, the size of the ‘mass’ in Jack’s belly but I couldn’t thoroughly see it.” She continued, “I’ll be just a moment.” 

Gabriel didn’t stop her again, watched the flutter of her white coat before he turned his attention back on Jack. He carefully pulled up a chair and finally sunk down and brought Jack’s hand to his lips. Just watching his face as the omega continued to sleep on, completely oblivious to everything around him. 

“I’m going to have a lot of questions.” Jesse finally shot across the bed. 

“I’ll answer all of them.” Gabriel murmured, “Later.” 

“Of course. Later.” He said back, “But Jesus Christ, is it too early to say congratulations?” 

It was too way early. 

None of this even felt real yet, and until Jack opened his eyes again, he didn’t feel comfortable about anything. Couldn’t indulge the flutter of hope, of happiness in his guts because what if Angela was wrong? What if Jack collapsed because his body had worn itself out? What if he wasn’t going to wake up again? 

He had too many fears and worries to accept anything right now. His silence was enough for Jesse to reign in his tongue and the next few minutes was waited in quiet. 

Until finally Angela returned, wheeling the big machine over on squeaky wheels. “It’s an old model but it’ll do.” She said, getting it set up and gently nudging Jesse out of the way(the young alpha getting to his feet instead to loiter nearby). She then gently eased up the shirt Jack was wearing to expose his belly. 

Mostly flat, with distinct scarring; his belly framed by jutting hip bones. Just the sight of it caused Gabriel’s heart to fall into his stomach. He had been such a terrible mate to his omega; he had caused him so much pain and heartache. Jack had started to waste away and he hadn’t been able to do a thing to help him.

What kind of alpha was he? 

He didn’t deserve Jack’s forgiveness. 

He kissed Jack’s knuckles, one by one, just watching as Angela applied the jelly and gently probed over the top of his belly with the wand. He looked over to the screen as she tried to find just the right spot, the right angle to get a good view inside. 

Until finally she found it; the sound of hearts beating filling the quiet of the space and on screen were two blobs. Distinct, even to Gabriel’s untrained eyes. 

“Is that--” He couldn’t help but exclaim, seized with paternal adoration. 

“Twins.” She said with a smile, “Two healthy babies. But, I do warn you Gabriel, they’re very small.” 

“Can we do anything for them? For Jack?” 

“Well, their hearts sound healthy, and they’re not too crowded in there.” She said, “But, we need him to start eating and drinking properly. He needs to fill in to provide for himself and the babies. Not to mention get the proper milk production.” 

“But he’ll be okay?” 

She offered him a smile, “Yes, they’ll all be okay. We caught everything right now, and we can work to reverse the damage.” 

“I’ll do anything.” He said seriously. 

“I know you will.” Angela said, just as serious. “Just stay with him for now. Be here when he wakes up.” 

“When will he wake up?” 

“Couple hours maybe. Once the fluids start to pump through his system. He just had extremely low blood sugar and fainted. It shouldn’t be too long now.” 

“I won’t leave him.” Gabriel said, finally reaching up to pet at Jack’s hair, “I’ll never leave him again.”


	22. Miracle

Gabriel was able to be alone with Jack. 

Angela and Jesse had left(though Angela was still in the area somewhere); and as promised, it had just been a couple hours until he saw his mate’s face pinch. He was still holding his hand and scooted just a little closer when Jack made a noise in his throat. 

“You with me?” He asked in a quiet rumble, letting the omega gradually wake. 

Eventually Jack’s blue eyes opened and he blinked under the harsh lighting of the room, turning his head until he saw Gabriel. Which, only caused more confusion to scrunch up his grizzled face. “What happened?” He asked, smacking his lips and probably suffering from cotton mouth since his unexpected fall. 

“Angela said that you passed out from low blood sugar. That you haven’t been taking care of yourself.” He eased into it, watching the blond as he digested the information. 

“Did she tell you what’s wrong with me?” He said with a frown, “I know since I was unconscious I couldn’t deny her probing.” 

“She did.” 

“So what is it?” He asked, sounding defensive, still holding Gabriel’s hand and looking his age laying in the hospital bed like he was. The white of his hair almost platinum under the harsh lights; his skin extremely pale and lacked color. Made him look extremely small, despite being the large super soldier he was. 

Jack looking so frail and pathetic only worked to cement that alpha need in him to protect his mate. Coupled with the guilt he felt for letting Jack’s health get this bad in the first place. He entirely blamed himself; even if the circumstances were more complicated than that. “You’re going to have to take better care of yourself.” He deflected gently, “I’ll take better care of you.” 

“Gabe.” Jack’s tone was firm, but he hadn’t taken his hand out of Gabriel’s, and didn’t look like he was really starting a fight. 

They hadn’t really discussed everything that happened. Not in full detail; just as much as Gabriel could give at the time and as much as Jack would accept. He didn’t expect the omega to accept him with open arms, or even let him bond him again so soon. But, the children growing in Jack’s belly needed them both. 

At the least, he wanted Jack to accept that. 

He didn’t need his omega stressed out any further, didn’t need any harm to come to their miracle children. It took a lot to not immediately touch Jack’s barely distended stomach; to not try and scent him and really search for that pregnancy smell he obviously missed before. He had an urge to scent mark and smother the sickly omega; but he was resisting those instinctive urges because he didn’t think Jack would be so receptive to him. 

Even if they were having children together; Gabriel wasn’t an idiot and didn’t think it would magically fix everything that was broken between them. This would be a very touch and go process and he was willing to accept that. 

He was determined to show Jack he was here for the long haul, that he wouldn’t leave him again, and he was serious about everything he said down in the cells. But he also didn’t know how much Jack could take right now and his mate didn’t need anymore stress. 

“Tell me what’s going on.” Jack finally asked, looking just as confused as ever. 

“You’re not dying.” He said, just to get that out of the way, to try and ease into the seriousness of the conversation to come. 

“But--”

“I know what it felt like.” He said softly; he’d suffered a broken bond himself. Though, hadn’t endured it twice. That was his own doing to Jack and he regretted it. Not the bond, but definitely putting his mate through undue stress and heartache. But he had no choice at the time, and he was going to make it up to Jack. “At least, part of it.” He amended which didn’t ease the pinched expression on his mate’s face. 

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. This was more than a broken bond. I felt more to it, it felt a lot like dying.” He said stiffly, “Like my body was breaking down. I never felt something like that before.” 

“I don’t know how to get into this easily.” He admitted, feeling at a loss for exactly the right words to say. 

“Just tell me.” He pushed, but there was fear there; maybe the real reason he was even holding Gabriel’s hand to begin with. Still needed this grounding point and despite how much they drifted, they would always be mates; two pieces of a whole. 

Gabriel always wanted Jack to feel like he could hold his hand, could lean on him when he was weak and scared. At least, so far, that instinct in the omega hadn’t changed. It was enough to give him to courage to speak frankly, “You’re pregnant.” 

“That’s impossible.” He said quickly, probably before he really understood what Gabriel had said. Defensive and bristly; as expected, given the situation. 

“It’s not.” He said, “It was before, but our bodies changed Jack.” He continued, “You know you smelled me in rut in the alley. I’ve been having regular ruts. You must’ve actually been in heat.” 

“I’ve never had a heat after the military, you know that.” 

“Whatever happened, it changed us.” He pushed, not letting Jack deflect and hide from this. As illogical as it all seemed, it was the truth. “You are pregnant, I’m not lying to you.” 

There was a lot that played over Jack’s face; his blue eyes like windows to his soul. Hope was there, and that same fear. Plus a myriad of other things; but instead of reacting positively he just clenched his jaw and bore down on the next words, “I drank after you left me bonded and alone. I didn’t even eat, just alcohol every night until I couldn’t remember my name.” His nostrils flared and his eyes looked wet, “It can’t be healthy. I can’t handle this Gabe, I can’t.” He said quietly, his voice shaking, “I can’t handle it dying.” 

“Jack--”

“You shouldn’t have told me.” 

“Babe,” He tried again, softer this time, not letting Jack jerk his hand away. This time he held him firm, nearly sitting up on the bed himself to try and reign his panicked omega in. Could smell the distress on the air as sour as Jack’s cloying sickly scent, “This is happening. Angela said they’re alive, they’re small but alive.” 

“They?” It was enough to get Jack’s dark thoughts to derail; a silent tear falling from his left eye. 

Gabriel was quick to catch it, cupping the side of his face in one of his big hands and just letting his thumb caress across his cheekbone, “Twins, baby. We’re having twins.” 

“Twins.” He parotted, still looking frail and gaunt under the harsh medical lighting and against the cheap cotton pillows. 

“Yeah.” He said, waiting a moment before he added, “Would you like to see them?” 

“I can see them?” Jack asked, still looking hesitant but hopeful. As if he was afraid to ask for something, as if this would all crumble the moment he did. 

It hurt to see Jack look like that, like he was afraid of happiness. It hurt more to realize he had been the one to make him look like that. Gabriel continued in the same soft tone, trying to keep Jack calm, “Angela used the ultrasound machine when you were unconscious. We got a picture of the twins.” 

He watched Gabriel a long moment before he nodded once, “I’d like to see.” 

Gabriel hoped the photo might make Jack come down from his scare, having something physical of the babies in his belly. So he fished in his pocket a moment before he pulled out the photo. It was black and white, the whole sheet dark aside from the two light colored blobs in the middle. He handed the image to Jack and just watched his expression as the omega studied the photo. 

He had let go of his hand, just waiting as Jack touched over the picture as if he could feel the children through the paper. 

It took a few long minutes before Jack spoke, “This is real. They’re real?” He didn’t look up from the picture, almost seemed to scrunch back into the bed, drawing his knees up. As if containing this moment, or perhaps trying to protect it from the reality of everything else around him. 

“Yes.” Gabriel said, letting Jack have his moment, letting the omega curl into himself and focus on the image. It was a good sign anyway; especially when Jack reached under the blankets, his hand going to the lower half of his belly. It warmed him in a way he hadn’t expected to see Jack come to terms with the fact he was pregnant. To see that sweet maternal side of him starting to peek through the surface of his grief. 

This wasn’t a proper place to nest, but that was what Jack was unconsciously doing; bunching up the blankets and hunkering down. It was cute, even if they had a long way to go, Gabriel couldn’t deny how much he loved Jack. That had always been a constant, even during the shit storm their lives had become. 

“They won’t die?” 

“Jack,” He said firmly, getting those watery blue eyes to look at him again. The fear there almost looked like it was directed at him, as if the blond was afraid he would personally take this away from him after he had just given him this hope, “I won’t let them. I promise.” 

“You can’t promise that.” 

Before Jack could turn his head away Gabriel reached to hold his chin firm between his fingers. He looked into Jack’s eyes, trying to smother the bad feelings with his own convictions, “I do promise it. I mean it Jack. Nothing will happen to them, or you. I’ll protect all three of you from anything.” Couldn’t help the growl to his tone, couldn’t help how fierce he felt in that moment. 

Jack was quiet a long moment, still holding the photo firmly in one hand and hiding his stomach with the other. He nodded and lowered his eyes, deferring to Gabriel with a quiet, “Okay, I’ll trust you.” 

It was a step in the right direction, and Gabriel was determined to not let his mate down this time.


	23. Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. ^^; 
> 
> I've been really busy and actually will be needing to put some writing on hold soon. But! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. The next updates should be here sometime this week. Thank you~

Just after they had their moment together; Angela had returned to go over what Gabriel had already said to the omega. She gave him recommendations on how to get healthy moving forward and set up an appointment in the next two weeks to see if he made any progress. 

For now, Gabriel was allowed to wander the base as he pleased. Jesse had vouched for him before; and maybe his crimes wouldn’t be forgiven overnight, but the collective on base understood that Jack would need his alpha as his pregnancy continued. 

Not that Jack couldn’t weather the storm of pregnancy alone; but it would be much easier if he had his mate. 

Gabriel was not going to abandon Jack again, he had already given that promise to the blond. Even if everyone else might not believe he was completely committed; the only one that needed to believe him was Jack. 

Once Jack had been discharged Gabriel had gathered the old omega in his arms and walked back towards his mate’s den. He ignored Jack’s protests that he could walk himself; calmed him by the rumble in his chest and nosed gently at his hairline as they continued to move through the base. 

Gabriel ignored the concerned and curious glances that had been tossed their way as they continued to Jack’s room. 

“I’m not made of glass, Gabe.” Jack had grumbled for probably the tenth time since they had came up from Angela’s examination room. 

“Just let me do this for you.” He said softly, kissing Jack’s temple and ignoring the way the omega just kept on frowning at him, avoiding eye contact. 

Eventually they made it to Jack’s temporary den; he opened the door with one hand and kicked it shut once they were inside. He deposited his mate onto the bed and fussed over the blankets and pillows until Jack was swatting at him and doing it all himself. 

Jack settled near the headboard of the bed, propped up with more pillows than he probably realy needed, his blankets laid over his figure almost like he was hiding(maybe he was). He still didn’t look directly at Gabriel, and the tension in the room was noticeable. 

It felt awkward, almost. 

Well, he knew this wouldn’t be an easy road. Even if Jack was pregnant, there was a huge fracture between them. He couldn’t expect it all to change, and he didn’t hold that against Jack. He knew that even if the omega wasn’t expressing it, Jack was still angry with him, and maybe he was still afraid to take that chance on him. 

Even if they had shared a happy moment in med bay, even if Jack wanted to progress in his pregnancy, even if Jack was going to accept his help--

It didn’t mean they were going to be a ‘couple’. The bond between them was broken, and even if Gabriel only thought of the omega as his mate, he knew Jack would need to warm up to the idea again. 

He didn’t think Jack would give him his trust, nor give him the chance to bond him again until after he felt comfortable. Until after he truly believed that he was committed and convicted in his love and devotion to both Jack and their children. 

But that was okay, they had time, and Gabriel wanted nothing more than to soothe his old omega and get Jack to love him again. 

“So what is all this now?” 

He snapped out of his daydreaming thoughts when Jack spoke, turning his gaze on the omega who looked so small in his nest, swamped by fabric and pillows. Almost adorably ridiculous in how he was arranged. “All this?” Gabriel asked, just pacing around the room slowly, unable to help the excess energy he felt after the very real thought of Jack being pregnant with his children, with their twins. “You’ll have to be more specific Jackie, what do you mean?” 

“Like that,” He huffed, still frowning, the ugly expression making him look even older, “Just because I’m pregnant, this all changes? That there’s nothing bad between us? That I’ll just sit here and let you coddle me and what, we’ll be a happy family?” 

“I understand what I did Jack. I understand that you’re angry.” He said carefully, “We established this isn’t going to be easy. But, I want to try, and I mean it when I say I want you to trust me again.”

“Gabe--”

“I know it won’t be easy. Or quick,” He cut in. “Maybe it’ll take years, but I’m willing to wait for you Jack. I want to do right by you, I meant everything I said before.” 

“I don’t know if I can ever believe it.” He said seriously. 

Gabriel watched the omega a long moment, “Believe what?” 

“That you’re here, that I’m pregnant, that all this can change.” He said, “I was willing to believe it. When I started to believe you were Reaper, when I really just wanted to see you again. When we were in that alley, when I let you fuck me, bond me.” He spat, “I thought all the shit between us was my fault. You let me believe that, but I was willing to endure that burden because you bonded me, I thought that meant something, I thought you’d forgiven me and really came back to me.” 

“There was nothing to forgive you for--”

“Then why did you have me believe that? Why did you say it was my fault?” 

He exhaled a plume of smoke, struggling to find the right words. “It was both of our faults’.” He said, “But mostly mine. I just couldn’t have you chasing me. I didn’t want anything to happen to you and I had to say something to get you to stay away from me.” 

“So you figured the guilt--”

“I knew the guilt would keep you away.” He corrected, “But I didn’t know how much havoc you’d unleash on yourself because of it.” 

“Would you have done anything differently, if you knew?” Jack asked, his tone almost accusatory. “Would knowing how I felt, and the fact I was pregnant have changed anything?” 

“I want to say it would’ve.” 

“Then you’d be lying.” 

He watched the emotions play on Jack’s scarred face. Could smell the changes in his mood; from one extreme to the next, but it was hardly a hormonal mood swing. It was all justified, and he endured Jack’s anger and his disappointment with as much grace as he could. 

Jack didn’t need any further stress, and there was no point in arguing with him. He was right anyway, about all of it. 

His silence had spoken for him but he decided to be truthful anyway, “Nothing would have changed.” He would have needed to proceed in the exact same way. Whether he knew Jack was pregnant or not, whether he knew how the bond would almost destroy his mate. The only thing he could’ve changed was not biting Jack in the heat of the moment. 

But, all the other suffering, all the other struggles the omega had went through, that would have all remained the same. 

Jack looked at him warily before he ran a hand down his tired face, “This is too much.” It seemed like all he could really say at this point; the day had been so long already and this conversation was not going to solve anything.

He slowly made his way over to Jack’s bed, but he didn’t sit on it, or reach out to touch the omega no matter how much he wanted to. “You’ve been through a lot, just give it time.” 

“What if I never forgive you?” Finally he turned his blue eyes on the wraith, “What if I never want you to bond me again? What if I never trust you again?” 

“Jack--”

“Gabriel, I don’t think I’m strong enough for this. All this.” He said, his jaw clenched and his eyes looked wet suddenly. He sniffed, as if he was holding back the need to cry. But he didn’t cry, his hands fisted in the sheets and he kept his emotions at bay best he could. 

Even if Gabriel could smell it; the anguish, the fear. 

This was supposed to be a happy event. This was something Jack had always wanted. Always dreamed of. 

But, they weren’t young anymore. They didn’t have the world on their shoulders and dreams of retirement; of a family and a farm somewhere, of being domestic and living out their lives where no one knew their names. 

Hell, Gabriel wasn’t even human anymore. 

If he thought too long and hard about things he would begin to doubt. Whether he truly deserved to be here. Whether he deserved Jack’s forgiveness, his love, or even the honor of meeting the children in Jack’s belly. 

There was a big part of him that almost wanted to run. To give Jack peace, to let his mate truly move on, to maybe find someone else--

But just the thought of someone else being in Jack’s life, of raising his children, just caused a burst of rage to flood his system. 

Unable to help the burst of acrid pheromones he released; possessive and angry. 

Jack immediately looked confused when he smelled the change; his brows furrowed and he tried to draw his body down into the blankets as if Gabriel’s rage was somehow about to be directed at him--

Which he realized almost immediately what he had done and what happened; his own intrusive thoughts getting the better of him. 

Immediately he reached out, gently cupping the side of Jack’s face while the other hand took Jack’s own. He laced their fingers together and huddled in close, hoping the proximity would dismiss the confusion and fear that clung to Jack like a funeral shroud. 

“Baby,” He said gently, “I know this is a lot. It’s unexpected and sudden. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and regardless of if you ever forgive me,” As hard of a pill to swallow as that was, “I want to be here for you. I’ll help you every step of the way. I’ll make sure you and our children are healthy, and I’ll keep you safe.” 

Jack was quiet as he watched him a long moment before finally tilting his head into the palm against his cheek. 

“Will you let me be here for you?” He asked after a moment, just watching Jack’s face, looking into his pretty blue eyes. His thumb gently brushing aside the tear that gathered at the corner of his eye. 

Jack let out a shaky breath before he spoke, “Yes.”


	24. Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE BEEN ON HIATUS FOR SO LONG
> 
> I'm sorry for that. Also, this chapter is mega short and I wanted to post it with the others I have half finished, but I really haven't finished them and I wanted to update something? This was just a necessary exchange to push Gabe's guilt and let him question exactly where he and Jack are headed. 
> 
> The next two chapters will be longer and have some racier themes. ;) Thank you guys for sticking with me even if I haven't been able to keep up on a strict schedule. I have a lot of irl stuff going on and some other deadlines I need to focus on. But, I do hope to get back to updating frequently as soon as I can. c:

The next few days passed by easily. 

Despite the friction and the difficult conversations; mostly things were moving forward as they should. Gabriel assisted Jack with what he needed, cooked him food and kept him comfortable in his den. 

He didn’t sleep in Jack’s nest (hadn’t yet been invited in), so he spent most the night just pacing around the room. He didn’t need to sleep, so the restless energy he accumulated was channeled into ‘protecting’ Jack’s room. Pacing, growling and generally hovering around the space while his mate slept. 

Gabriel wanted to have that complete connection back with Jack again, but he knew it would take time. So he wouldn’t push, and he wouldn’t take more than his omega was willing to give. 

This morning, like most mornings, he found himself in the on base kitchen trying to get a meal prepared for Jack. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to cook, he did. But he hadn’t been eating ‘food’ for over seven years. He didn’t cook for himself, and though some things were like ‘riding a bike’, some other things took time to re-learn. 

So, he started with basic recipes and moved his way up. Focused on pregnancy foods and also was sure to keep things on the blander side. 

Jack normally couldn’t handle much spice or flavor and, in his pregnant state, his sense of taste and smell was extremely acute. Which meant, too much of certain things could cause the poor man to throw up. 

Which was the opposite of what Gabriel wanted; Jack was too thin as it was and it would take time and hearty food to get Jack back from the brink of starvation. 

But Jack was willing. He ate all the meals prepared so far and even enjoyed most of them. Even if his appetite wasn’t exactly where it should be, he was accepting food and that soothed the doting alpha part of Gabriel. 

He was finally able to provide for his family, was able to give Jack some sense of comfort and completion. He hoped this was just another stepping stone on their road to recovery. 

“You’re takin’ to the domestic pretty well.” Came Jesse’s sleepy drawl as the cowboy walked himself into the small kitchen, bee lining for the coffee pot. 

Gabriel finished plating Jack’s meal, getting the dishes in the sink and promptly ignoring the young alpha. 

But, Jesse was used to cold shoulders, and especially used to Gabriel’s moods, so he was hardly phased, “Think some scrambled eggs and hashbrowns will fix everything?” 

“I don’t think anything will fix what I did to Jack.” He said grumpily, finally rising to the bait, and probably looking ridiculous in his sweats and ratty shirt that was a size too small. His red eyes caught Jesse’s honey brown, but the cowboy merely took a sip of his freshly prepared coffee and hardly batted an eye to the smoke seeping off Gabriel’s exposed mottled skin. 

“Good.” He said flatly, “Don’t want you gettin’ comfortable. Jack deserves the best of you, and I wouldn’t have let you in here if I didn’t know how much he needed you. He always needed you so damn badly, he was an idiot to chase you then, and especially an idiot now to still do it.” 

“I remember when you used to follow my every step, pup.”

Jesse shrugged, unaffected by the jibe, “I was young and stupid. I know how to make my own way now.”

“Just come out and tell me what you want to say to me. I know that’s what this is.” 

“It’s exactly as I’ve said,” Jesse murmured, getting closer, the steaming cup of coffee between them when he finally squared his shoulders and looked Gabriel in the eyes, “You stay here, you provide for Jack, you give him what he needs. But, if I catch any whiff of you double crossin’ us, or scorchin’ the earth again, I’ll be the first to put a bullet between your eyes.” 

Gabriel looked into Jesse’s face a long while, posturing as strongly as the cowboy was, not conceding an inch of ground. The threat was real, he could see it there, and it truly did warm his heart. 

Even if he had lost everything, and everyone he had cared for--

Jack didn’t. Jack still had people, people like Jesse and Ana, people who would die for him, would fight for him and would protect him; even from Gabriel himself. 

He was proud of Jesse because there were many times, a long time ago, where the young alpha hadn’t stepped up to him when maybe he should have. Maybe if Jesse had tugged at his leash then, he wouldn’t be on the path he was now. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he relaxed his posture and dropped his eyes, “Food is getting cold.” He said calmly, but didn’t take a step away from Jesse, giving him the authority to permit him to leave. 

“Then you better git.” He said with a nod towards the exit, stepping aside. 

Gabriel didn’t look back at Jesse as he left the kitchen, intent on getting back to Jack; letting the small nagging thought in the back of his head grow bigger and bigger: did he really deserve Jack, his forgiveness, and his children after everything he had done?


	25. Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys don’t hate me it’s been forever. 
> 
> Please enjoy the chapter! 
> 
> Updates(at least the next few) will be much faster. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!!
> 
> ****This chapter has been edited per request. I had forgotten Jack’s braces, as well as changing a bit of the interaction this chapter in the shower for better flow/emotional impact.

As the days and weeks drew on, what Jesse had said had lingered in his mind. Causing the doubts to take root and multiply, fester at night while he watched over Jack and nag at his brain in the morning when he went through the same routine day in and day out. 

Jack wasn’t very talkative and he insisted on doing everything himself(aside from cooking). There was still that tension between them that felt like a pressing weight that was growing heavier each day. 

Reaper didn’t feel like he had a right to pop that tension. Didn’t feel like he had a right to confront Jack about anything after everything he had done, and he definitely didn’t want to cause anymore stress on his pregnant mate. 

Yet he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride and an overwhelming burst of affection as Jack’s belly continued to grow. When each visit to Angela came out positive, and Jack himself started to gain weight. His mate’s skin seemed to just glow, even under the dull fluorescent lighting, and despite his face usually being in a permanent frown--

He looked just beautiful, somehow more beautiful than he had ever looked in his life. 

Though despite the positive pregnancy, Reaper hadn’t been allowed to touch Jack. Other than to assist from here or there, the omega didn’t allow him in his bed and didn’t allow him to touch or scent mark. 

The alpha in Reaper was going stir crazy. He could smell the richness of his mate’s scent, he could see the flush on his skin, he could see the growth of their child. But, he hadn’t been permitted to really drink in that new scent, hadn’t been permitted to claim Jack in a way that would soothe his wild primal side. 

His brain was telling him what he was seeing was his, was urging him to do something about it--

But he wouldn’t, he couldn’t, not when Jack was so fragile, and not when Jack had made it clear this process would be long, and it wouldn’t be easy. They weren’t even really mates, that bond had broken, and Gabriel doubted Jack would let him get his teeth on his throat again. 

There had been lines drawn in the sand and Gabriel would respect them. 

Even if they mended, even if they repaired this to a semblance of what it was, he wasn’t so delusional as to think everything would go right back to how it used to be. Back when it was good, when they were young and in love and things weren’t so fucked up between them. 

They had a lot to talk about, but Reaper had no words and Jack didn’t have the patience to listen anyway. 

So this night was like every night before it; Gabriel had made Jack food, the omega was sat on the bed eating it while watching a video on his holo pad. Some old classic he had seen a million times before, and Gabriel was sitting on the floor feeling jealous that sometimes the movie would get Jack to laugh between bites. The sound was as soothing as it was frustrating. He wanted to be holding the omega, he wanted to be soaking in that warmth and that humor. He wanted to really hear Jack laugh in his ear and look at him with those amused blue eyes. 

Instead, he was just an observer, a forever outsider, sitting where he couldn’t see what Jack was even watching. But, the dialogue was familiar, and Jack was a creature of habit so he was positive it was a movie his mate had seen time and time again. 

Jack was just like that, he enjoyed simple pleasures and the comfort of old things. 

Gabriel wanted to think that Jack accepting him even this much, and harboring their twins was because he wanted to, because somewhere deep down the blond still loved him and not because all of it was just a habit, just a comfortable old classic his mate could fall right back into. 

The thought of it always left a sour taste in his mouth. He rumbled to himself; so displeased by his own thoughts he had almost missed when Jack turned off his movie and spoke--

His voice like crushed stone, softer than it usually was, “I’m going to go shower now.” 

Jack’s nightly routine usually consisted of dinner, a movie, and a shower. It wasn’t new, but this was the first time the omega announced it to him. 

It felt like there should be more, but when he looked up to catch Jack’s gaze the blond was just staring at him, his expression as guarded as it usually was. 

“I’ll help you get there.” He said in return, though it didn’t need to be said. Reaper was a constant shadow to the old omega. Even if Jack wanted to go somewhere ‘alone’ on base, he always followed him. As if he was worried the blond could get into trouble here, or could get himself gravely injured. 

Yes, Jack needed to wear his braces, but that didn’t mean he was unsteady. When he had them on he could walk, run, jump, all the things he was used to doing as an active person. 

It was only when he took them off that he needed extra attention, was wobbly on his feet and would need assistance(like getting in and out of bed, or if they were off while he was changing clothes). 

So, that was to say, a walk in the halls with his braces didn’t mean Gabriel needed to be glued to his side(but he was). 

If Jack noticed his concerned stalking, he hadn’t mentioned it. 

But the trip to the shower room was a common nightly thing they did together, yet it felt like Jack was requesting something instead of making a general announcement. 

Jack set his empty plate and holo pad on the night table and got himself slowly out of bed. He was dressed as he usually was, in a pair of ratty pajamas pilfered from the clothing found on base. The top was tight and stretched across his belly just barely, whereas the pants were loose and hung low on his hips. 

He watched and waited as Jack got himself into his braces(if his mate needed help, he’d mention it. By now Reaper was good at keeping his distance and his concern to himself). 

Reaper had to resist that urge to touch, especially so when he got himself in step with Jack as they exited the bedroom. He resolved himself to being content in letting his hand hover at the base of Jack’s back, just in case the omega needed support, but wouldn’t touch him without his permission. 

It was a slow walk to the shower room, and the silence between them felt like a third person wedged in the middle. 

Gabriel used to be a master at conversation, at turning a room. Could rally troops as easily as he could sway a suspect. Used to have a silver tongue for Jack, and used to be able to change his mood with such an ease it felt as simple as breathing. 

Now, it felt like his tongue had been cut out and Jack was a man made out of stone. 

The quiet walk to the communal showers felt as stoic and distant as it used to feel when he escorted prisoners to the interrogation rooms. There was no warmth between them, and the frigity was a concern. 

They never had moments like they had before, like when he had been locked up, or when they first experienced the mutual fear and joy of learning about their twins. He couldn’t see into Jack’s brain like he used to be able to. Used to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling, even before the blond really knew. 

This time, everything felt so new and foreign(but not necessarily in a good way). 

Gabriel was really at a loss on how to ‘break the ice’ or if it was really his place to try before Jack seemed himself(or them) ready for it. 

Eventually they reached the showers, and at this time of day there wasn’t anyone else in it. Had become a sort of unspoken thing on base that this was the time Jack and Gabriel would use the space(and it was just in everyone else’s best interest to let them be alone). 

Jack used the same stall he always did, the one on the end, closest to the back. It already had his favorite soap and shampoos; a worn out lufa and a stack of fluffy towels on the bench closest. It also had a safety addition he needed now: a shower bar. Jack could shower alone with the assistance of the bar, letting him lean, bend and stand without further help. Jack was just a creature of habit, and during his pregnancy he sought any and all comforts he could get(comforts that wasn’t Gabriel anyway). 

He stood nearby as Jack stripped; setting his shirt, pants, underwear, braces and the slippers he put on onto the bench. He let his eyes roam over his omega’s body, enjoying the new curves, the swell of his belly, and all that familiar skin being on display. 

Gabriel felt the rumble in his chest before he truly realized the noise he began to make; a possessive pleased sound at the sight of his naked pregnant mate. His whole body itched to be pressed against Jack, for a brief moment he almost forgot why he couldn’t be—

Until Jack looked over his shoulder, his expression guarded as always, most of his body hidden just by the way he was standing. Closed off, his body language always cutting Gabriel’s fantasies to ribbons. 

Jack was using the bench as support, he was capable of walking the few feet to the shower stall to grab the bar— Gabriel had seen him do it many times. 

Gabriel was used to Jack doing mostly everything on his own, and even if the alpha in him wanted to interject, he didn’t. An apology was on the tip of his tongue about the way he had been ogling his body when Jack spoke first, “Join me?” 

He floundered for a second, just staring at the blond before he blurted unintelligently, “Seriously?” 

“I won’t ask again.” He said gruffly before he stepped into the shower stall, grabbed the bar for balance and turned on the taps. The heat from the water kicked up steam which gathered in an opaque fog, half hiding Jack, while Gabriel was still processing. 

Usually Gabriel just stood guard while Jack showered. Usually he didn’t even sneak glances, and mostly just kept himself and his mind occupied by thinking of the future and ways he could mend their relationship—

Now, he was given a rare opportunity to not have to be brooding, and not have to be alone. 

He wasn’t so optimistic as to think that Jack would extend this kindness to letting him touch his body, or his belly, but he’d take this rare moment of intimacy. It had been months since they had been even remotely intimate, whether physically or emotionally. 

He wouldn’t fuck this up. 

Gabriel quickly undressed, leaving his clothing in a pile near Jack’s on the bench beyond the shower stalls. Nude, he stood there a moment almost as if wanting praise or the eyes of his mate—

But when he looked up Jack had his back to him, already sudsing up his body with the old lufa and ignoring him completely. 

The alpha side of him itched to be seen, to be heard, to be touched. The alpha side of him wanted to make Jack look at him, wanted to entice him enough to touch. But the logical, human side of him knew the outcome of showboating. Especially now, when things were so fragile. 

Young Jack used to think of it as cute, used to preen right back and used to give him that ugly laugh Gabriel loved so much. 

He had a sinking feeling that old Jack would just give him the stink eye and the biggest frown he’d ever seen if he even tried. 

So, Gabriel didn’t make an idiot of himself, and he didn’t ruin this moment as he took his place in the small shower stall near his mate. Despite both of them being large men, they managed to fit without touching skin at all. 

He didn’t know what Jack wanted, or if this was enough, and he wasn’t brave enough to ask his volatile mate. So instead he just stood, wanting to melt into the warm fog around them than actually be a physical being. But, he fought the urge and forced himself to stay solid, and forced his animal urges to ignore how supple Jack looked and how close he was.

“Gabe?” Jack glanced over his shoulder, paused in his cleaning routine. By the look on his face it felt like maybe the blond had called him more than once.

“Yeah?” He asked, forcing himself to keep his eyes on his mate’s face and not on his naked, wet body. 

Jack offered the lufa to Gabriel in a casual way, as if this has happened many times before(it had, in another life). He had turned to give the alpha his back, his body on display without his own eyes on Gabriel. 

It felt like Jack had given him a tiny window back inside the life he could have. Like he had given him a small crumb of trust. 

So, almost clinically, he applied more soap to the sponge and began to run it along the familiar curve of Jack’s broad back. Following lines of scars and running over beautiful patches of condensed freckles. 

It wasn’t long before he saw the tension start to melt from Jack’s body, relaxing into the touch of the soft sponge and the gentle pressure he applied to his hard muscles. Moving from his shoulders down to the dip of his spine, to the subtle flare of his hips and over his beautiful flat ass. He crouched to get the back of his thighs and the line of his legs; down to the delicate bones of his ankles and feet. 

He paid extra attention to the new scarring; the burned skin mottled and corded. New to him, happened during the explosion, when he himself had died. 

He hadn’t gotten a chance to really explore Jack’s new body, he hadn’t been allowed to—

He didn’t deserve to. 

Gabriel was careful to wash softly, the skin sensitive here and almost delicate. Giving himself a rare chance to finally explore while Jack was in an amiable mood. 

Eventually, he soaped up the omega’s entire backside. 

“Rinse.” Gabriel said, somehow not ready for Jack to turn; because when he did the man arched his back, closed his eyes and let the water just run all over him. 

Jack’s entire front was on display, giving Gabriel a good view of his slightly curved belly. 

He had remained as removed as he could, but seeing Jack just spiked that urge in him to touch and scent and claim—He clenched his jaw and set the lufa down, he needed to get out of the shower before his body made it obvious he was aroused. 

“You’re not done.” Jack said, without opening his eyes.

Was Jack just going to torture him? Or was this some type of trust building exercise? What was the right response? 

Gabriel hated being unsure; that wedge of time and uncertainty still making it feel foreign and awkward between them. 

But this was also an opportunity to stay close to Jack, to see him completely naked, to be allowed to touch—

Even if it’s just with a sponge, it was the most Jack had ever allowed him so far(since they had tried to reconcile). 

He went to pick up the sponge on a stick again only to have Jack stop him with a clear voice, “Use your hands.” 

He immediately looked at his mate, and he was met with his steady clear gaze. The blue of his eyes piercing under the veil of warm fog between them. 

There was no uncertainty, hesitance or fear in those eyes. 

Jack knew what he wanted, what he was asking for—

But Gabriel didn’t. 

This had to be a test, right? What if he failed? 

“Stop thinking.” Jack said, in control, lifting the soap bottle nearby and offering it to the wraith. 

The alpha managed to shoot Jack a weak grin, “Aren’t you full of surprises today?” 

“Must be the hormones.” He dismissed, and somehow the dismissal did singe Gabriel’s confidence that was slowly starting to build. 

Maybe this was just a biological imperative, a necessity, an instinct. Maybe this had nothing to do with what Jack really wanted, maybe the distance and lack of touch was starting to bother him just as much as Gabriel. 

But whatever it was, it was an opportunity to be closer to his mate, however brief of a moment this might turn out to be. 

So he took the bottle of soap and squeezed an opaque glob into his hand. Enough so when he set the bottle down he could rub his hands together and create the sudsy foam needed to wash the blond. 

Jack had closed his eyes again, just waiting there under the spray of the shower, sure footed and exposed. One hand on the bar, the other lax at his hip. He looked gorgeous against the white tile, softened by the steam, like a painting. 

He set his hands on Jack’s shoulders, soaping up his skin and gently following the slope of his broad shoulders to the strong column of his neck and back again. 

Jack’s lips parted in a silent moan, his brows furrowing slightly—

It has been such a long time for both of them. 

Just the faintest touch, like this, hands slick with soap and water against warm freckled flesh was enough to jolt Gabriel’s body. 

This man was his, the babies growing in his belly were his. 

It sent such a surge of protective adrenaline through his body he had to bite back a snarl. He wanted badly to press Jack up against the tile, wanted to smother him down and bite his throat until the omega surrendered. Until he whimpered and writhed beneath him, until he gave him everything he wanted. 

He wanted to dominate Jack, to show him that he was here, that he was strong and capable, that he’d defend him and his pups from anything—

But those were all animal urges, needs and wants of his hind brain. 

He could be content with this. 

He could accept this. 

His fingertips following lines of scars, gliding through wiry patches of hair; letting the soap wash away the natural oils of Jack’s skin, purifying his scent with something artificial. His hands moving from Jack’s muscled chest to the narrow jut of his hips and finally meeting in the middle over the arch of his delicate belly. 

The touch was enough to punch a gasp out of Jack; and Gabriel couldn’t help the low grumbling sound he made. A knee jerk reaction to calm Jack’s nerves and to assert his paternal claim. 

Jack didn’t stop him, so Gabriel kept touching. 

Following the line of his belly, from the sides, the top, down to the sweet swell of it. The flesh here warm and solid, budding with new life and sending a wave of pride through Gabriel’s body. 

He wanted to show Jack how much he missed him, how much he wanted him, how much he cared about him. 

Gabriel didn’t even think twice when he fell to his knees. Letting his hands trail back to Jack’s hips and down down down—over his hard thighs, fingertips gliding under his soft knees and over his calves. 

He looked up at Jack, who had fallen into the wall of the shower for support. His body braced, feet apart and eyes closed though his face was tilted down towards him. Water was running off his white blond hair, drips dropping heavily down against Gabriel like rain. 

He spread his knees and ignored the heavy feeling of his own engorged cock and balls. Instead he traced his hands back up his mate’s body, eyes focused on the prize under his belly. 

Jack’s little cock was flushed with blood, curved and dripping.

Their eyes met; both men panting, standing at the edge of should we or shouldn’t we? 

The moment felt timeless, and electric. 

“Jack?” He spoke his name in a breathless huff; the name enough, a question of can I? 

Jack nodded, still watching the alpha, just as confident and sure as before. Accepting what this was, what it could be, what Gabriel wanted from him—

Gabriel didn’t think twice about it, wanting Jack’s cock so badly he just took it. His mouth hot and wet and needy as he suckled the small thing.

“Gabe—“ Jack gasped, one hand quickly tangling up in the wet mess of hair on top of the alpha’s head just as his hips jerked forward for more.

This close he could smell his mate; under the clean water smell and the soap. Under that was what Jack was; musky, masculine, warm like clear sunny days and fresh like green grass. 

His mate, forever and always. 

He growled deeply; a parody of a purr as he continued to suck Jack’s cock. Hands tight on the omega’s hips to control the pace of his needy thrusting. He enjoyed the salty taste of him on his tongue and he needed more more more—

Jack was making little sounds; cut off gasps and moans, his fingers yanking on hair and nails digging against skin. 

Desperate and needy just for him. 

Exactly how Gabriel wanted him. 

It wouldn’t last, it couldn’t, not with how hard Jack was. Could feel his cock twitch in his mouth, could taste the bitterness of pre come as Jack got closer and closer to orgasm. 

He bobbed his head to the rhythm he set; could almost time the beats of Jack’s heart with his tongue. Could feel his mate tense under his hands, could smell the orgasm building—

Until finally, finally Jack came. A rush of warm come filled his mouth and the sweet choked off sounds Jack made as he fucked Gabriel’s mouth, riding out the dregs of his own pleasure was music to his ears. 

He caused this, he gave this relaxation, comfort and pleasure to Jack. 

He gently licked the head of his dick; tasting the last of his bitter flavor as he gently release his spent and softening cock. 

Looking up Jack’s body he met his mate’s eyes; the blue just a thin ring against his blown out pupils. The shadows on his face somehow making him look younger, softer and more virile. 

Beautiful. 

Jack caught his breath, letting the moment stretch between them. Letting the intimacy continue; and Gabriel wanted this moment to go on forever. 

He wanted to tug Jack down, to gather him in his arms, to soak in the warmth of the shower and the smell of his mate satisfied and content. He wanted to scent him, he wanted to mark him—

Maybe Jack saw that intention, maybe he knew what Gabriel wanted. 

Jack clearly wasn’t ready for commitment, for aftercare, for everything he saw written on Gabriel’s face. 

It was at that moment that Jack immediately shut off the taps; killing the steady hiss of the water. Without the white noise the silence felt like a noose. 

The vulnerability that had been written on Jack’s face just a moment before was gone. 

What he was looking at now was a soldier; the strong face Jack always put on when he was about to do something he didn’t want to do(and maybe Gabriel could take solace in the fact that Jack didn’t want to push him away, even though he would). 

Jack stepped to the side of Gabriel, and out of the stall entirely. Walked to the bench and started to dry himself off—

“Let me help.” He spoke up before he could stop himself, having gotten to his feet without realizing. 

But Jack’s voice caused him to stop approaching, “Take care of yourself.” He said, not turning around, continuing to dry himself off. “Don’t come back until you do.” He said, dry enough as he started to get himself dressed. 

The wet towel set on the bench next to him as he sat; getting his braces on first before everything else. On autopilot, ignoring Gabriel now that he was supposedly ‘done’ with their interaction. 

Gabriel clenched his jaw and watched his mate; waiting, hoping Jack would turn and look at him. 

He didn’t.

Once Jack was fully dressed he just walked right out of the shower room entirely. Steady, slow, bracing at walls—

But he did it. On his own, without Gabriel trailing after because Jack still didn’t need him, or want him(yet) in all the ways Gabriel wanted him to. 

Didn’t offer another word, or a glance, or any acknowledgment at all. 

Gabriel frowned to himself; his dick hardly the most pressing matter he felt he had. But, Jack had told him what to do, and he didn’t want the omega to have an excuse to kick him out later—or to hold this against him if he went back to the room smelling unsatisfied and aroused. 

He grumbled to himself and stepped further into the shower. He took a few deep breaths and turned on the shower again— 

This time cold, the frigid shock of the water enough to eradicate the heated desire in his system from before. 

He deserved this; he’d endure this, and anything else. 

For Jack, always for Jack.


End file.
